Cosmogenesis

In the year 45,122 AD, 29 year old Alec Swanson’s thirteen years of college and his massive investment of over fifty billion credits were finally paying off. At a galaxy-wide televised ceremony earlier that month, he was one of the two recruits chosen from a pool of twelve potential candidates from the United Nations of Earth to live out the dream that every Milky Way resident who was halfway into science secretly had: to work for the Architect Order, the galaxy’s ultra-elite multi-species club for the scientist whose ambition knows no bounds. And that’s no exaggeration. A typical day of work at the Architect Order’s headquarters on the planet Zion might include everything from building habitable planets from scratch to ship via wormhole to empires who need room to expand, birthing baby universes from black holes, overfeeding black holes with exotic matter to turn them into wormholes, to visiting planets whose inhabitants were on the verge of becoming spacefaring and sharing technology to speed up that process.

Alec was destined from birth to be an Architect; after all, it was his still-very-much-in-his-prime great-grandfather’s discovery of the Swanson Protocol for retrieving exotic matter from the vacuum of space that kick-started humanity’s trek to the stars. And not just humanity’s trek to the stars, but that of over five hundred thousand species of intelligent life within the Milky Way Galaxy, all of whom now send their best and brightest to the planet Zion, where the lucky chosen few get to toy with reality itself while they and their home empires reap the unimaginable wealth of entire baby universes, each handcrafted by equally unimaginable numbers of scientists daring enough to play around with them.

And if you aren’t daring enough to do it for real, no problem! With the computing power of one of the New Canaan system’s 550 handcrafted (or borrowed from other systems) planets, you can plug yourself into a simulation where you can live your best life through a headset in exchange for working a few hours a day serving the needs of other likeminded simulation users or working as an Energy Collector, siphoning the unimaginable energy of universes in their infancy and funneling it to New Canaan’s planets or other systems throughout the galaxy.

Still others spend their entire lives in one of Zion’s 500,000 seat open forums discussing ideas for experiments that would be wild for any organization that didn’t birth universes from black holes, debating galactic politics, or writing lengthy treatises on literally any subject they like. On Saturdays the forums fill to bursting with exhausted Architects attending motivational seminars, taught by everyone from religious leaders to presidents of galactic empires.

There is never a dull moment in New Canaan, or for that matter anywhere in the Architects’ sphere of influence.

Alec Swanson arrived in New Canaan via the space ferry from Earth for his first day of work on the first Thursday of August, 45122. Like all new arrivals, he started his day by visiting the Housing Bureau on Zion. 

Zion was everything Alec had seen on TV thousands of times and more, and visited twice when in college. The first planet to be handcrafted by the Architect Order, it was the creation that made them famous so many years ago. The meticulously crafted buildings, each with their own unexplainable beauty, seemed to stretch forever into Zion’s thick purple atmosphere. The Housing Bureau alone took his breath away, with its sandstone facade that stretched 700 stories into the sky.

When Alec’s number was called, he stood up from his seat and walked over to counter 45, where a young scribe (a usually teenage volunteer who seeks to work for the Architects someday and does volunteer work to better their chances) asked him, “Can I see your Galactic ID and your Architect Order paperwork?”

“Here you go...” said Alec, “Is everything in order?”

“Yes, sir!,” said the scribe, “Your house is number 502816 on Zion’s moon New Ashkelon. I think you’ll like it; New Ashkelon is a nice place to live! I hang out there when I have a break from college and volunteering!”

“Thank you,” said Alec.

“Wait...” said the scribe, “Are you related to Fred Swanson by any chance? The man who discovered the Swanson Protocol?”

“Yeah,” said Alec, “He’s my great-grandfather.”

“No kidding!” said the scribe, “Well, I hope you turn out to be just as awesome as he is!”

“Thanks, kid!” said Alec.

“Step onto that platform and I’ll wormhole you into your living room!” said the scribe.

Alec stepped onto the platform, and the scribe opened a wormhole to his house, already stocked with furniture and a personal spaceship to get him wherever he needed to go. After about 20 minutes of getting acquainted with his new home, Alec received his first order broadcast on his TV. His first day was to be relatively light for an Architect: he would be headed to Open Forum 24 for a debate on the ethics of implanting sentience chips into the brains of Great Apes. Sentience chips were always a polarizing topic of debate in the Architect Order, as the Architects sought to create new allies by implanting them into the brains of species that showed the promise of sentience, such as Great Apes or the recently implanted Trappist Pythagoras albans.

Alec arrived just in time for the debate to start and sat on the “Undecided” area of the towering auditorium. The current leader of the Architect Order, an alien from the planet Gilesa 581c by the name of Chromer Parsec, sat in the moderator’s seat himself due to the sensitive nature of the topic.

“Greetings, my friends!” said Chromer Parsec, “When I looked at the Open Forum 24 debate schedule for today, I thought, Please, not this again! It seems not a week goes by without having a debate on the subject of sentience chip implantations. As many of you know, it’s gotten to the point that we have a rule that unless I’m available to sit in we do not have this debate. I do not pretend that this issue will be settled today. But can we at least try not to not have any murders this time?”

“Only verbal ones!” yelled a man on the Against side of the 45th floor.

“Close enough,” said Parsec, “Let the debate begin! I recognize seat 46 on floor 77!”

“I am Johnathan Anderson from Earth and I’m arguing for sentience chip implantations,” said the man from floor 77, “My worthy opponents argue that Great Apes are not able to provide informed consent to sentience experiments due to an inability to understand our language or the advanced scientific concepts we seek to study and should therefore be exempt from them. But animal hospitals on Earth perform routine surgeries on Great Apes all the time to rehabilitate them for life in the wild. They never ask the Ape’s consent for the surgeries. Even humans in a coma have surgeries performed on them without their explicit consent.”

A woman from floor 23 buzzed in and said, “Maya Forstater, against. There’s a big freaking difference between performing a lifesaving surgery and putting a chip in someone’s brain. The Architects have specific rules against brain-chipping humans, Gilesans, et cetera without their consent. I had a good friend who implanted a brain chip to cure someone’s cerebral palsy without their explicit consent and they were suspended from the Architect Order for five years for doing so. It didn’t even matter that the recipient was grateful for the procedure after it happened! Great Apes are sentient beings too. They use tools, fight wars with each other, and even form friendships with humans. So why are they not covered under the same rules that we are?”

“Johnathan Anderson, for! Because they aren’t sentient in the same way that we are!”

“Maya Forstater, against! Tell that to the Great Ape who we taught to speak French last week!”

Alec buzzed in to ask a question, as was customary for the Undecideds in any debate, “Alec Swanson, undecided...” Before he could finish, though, Chromer Parsec interrupted him.

“Mr. Alec Swanson, are you a descendant of Fred Swanson, the discoverer of the Swanson Protocol, by any chance?” asked Parsec.

“Yes, he’s my great-grandfather,” said Alec.

The Open Forum roared with applause.

“Well,” said Chromer, “We’re glad to have you! Now, what was your question?”

“I have two questions, actually, one for each side so I can form my own opinion on this issue,” said Alec, “The first is for Mr. Anderson. The Great Ape is afforded the highest level of protected species status by the United Nations of Earth. How is it fair to further interfere with them when they’re considered critically endangered?”

“Exactly!” said Maya Forstater.

“Well,” said Johnathan Anderson, “Implanting them with sentience chips would grant them further protection, as killing them or even indirectly causing their deaths as a sentient species would be considered murder. Implanting them would also allow them to be integrated into society similarly to how the Trappist Pythagoras albans was integrated into the Trappesian society, further protecting them.”

“Why not just stop butchering their habitats to begin with?!” said Maya Forstater, “They live in three places on Earth nowadays and even those places are becoming untenable for them!”

“Then let’s uplift them and integrate them into freaking society!” said Johnathan.

“You do realize that’s literally to the letter the exact argument that white settlers used to justify enslaving my people, right?” said Maya.

“Great Apes aren’t people, Maya!” said Johnathan.

“Also an argument used to enslave my people,” said Maya.

Chromer interrupted them and said, “Enough! Mr. Swanson, what was your question for Miss Forstater?”

“My question for her is, why...” Before Alec could finish asking his question, the alarms everywhere on the planet Zion started to ring out.

“RED ALERT!” yelled Leader Parsec.

“Attention,” said the head of security over the P.A. system, “Class X mystery object approaching New Canaan system. Prepare defense and evacuation code X-5B.”

“You heard the announcement!” said Chromer Parsec, “Code X-5B!”

Alec knew from his training that “Code X-5B” combined with “Class X mystery object” meant a possible black hole. Being new and unprepared for that kind of emergency, Alec rushed to his personal spaceship and launched, making a beeline for space. Could this really be the end of his career with the Architects before it even started?

Everyone certainly thought so, until the system’s Caplan Thruster, a device powered by a Dyson Sphere capable of moving the entire New Canaan system anywhere in the galaxy close to one percent of the speed of light, fired up in less than thirty seconds, moving the New Canaan star and its system along with it out of the way of the black hole, which was thankfully moving slowly enough for that to happen. Then, a Swanson Launcher spat out a beam of exotic matter faster than the speed of light towards the black hole. As was common practice in the Architects’ Order, the black hole “opened” from the anti-gravity exotic matter pushing out, forming a relatively harmless wormhole.

Alec, and the whole of the Architect Order along with him, breathed a sigh of relief. Code X-5B had never been called in the entire history of the Architects’ Order, but thankfully the agreed-upon protocol worked. Everyone, Alec included, began to slowly return to their homes, as an order was put out cancelling all but essential tasks for the day.

Alec returned to his residence on New Ashkelon as soon as the All Clear was given. He settled down to watch Zion News Network, who ran scene after scene from the day’s events on repeat for their 12 PM news.

Around 3 PM, Alec heard a knock on his front door and went to answer it. It was Chromer Parsec, the Leader of the Architects’ Order who had sat in on the ill-fated debate earlier that day.

“Good evening, Alec,” said Chromer, “I just wanted to make sure you were doing alright after today’s events. I know it was not the first day you envisioned.”

“I’m doing fine, Mr. Parsec,” said Alec.

“Good,” said Chromer, “That black hole wasn’t even close enough to be detected by pre-FTL means. We detected it with tachyon sensors. We would’ve been fine so long as it didn’t alter course.”

“Then why’d they call a red alert?” asked Alec.

“Any time a black hole is within New Canaan’s Outer belt, which goes out about 50 billion miles, we sound the alarm. It wasn’t on a course to do any actual harm, thank goodness. But you just can’t take any chances with a black hole,” said Chromer.

“I understand,” said Alec, “I’ve lost good friends to those forsaken death traps.”

“It’s refreshing to see someone prominent like yourself actually not have an opinion on the sentience chip issue,” said Chromer, “You could be an asset when it comes time for that sort of debate, which you know will be even sooner than usual since we didn’t even get to finish earlier.”

“So, how do you determine a winner in a debate like that where the Architects are so evenly split on the issue?” asked Alec.

“Well,” said Chromer, “We don’t. I don’t declare a winner in debates that cover such a controversial topic. I risk alienating a good half of the Architects no matter what I do. We’ve already had a small but noticeable group leave us and form the so-called Curator Order based on my homeplanet, Gilesa 581c, that does all the stuff we do, but says no to any chipping experiments. We still talk to each other but I fear that rocking the boat on this issue will cause open conflict.”

“Why is this such an issue?” asked Alec.

“Well, it’s a lot of different issues all rolled into one,” said Chromer, “Animal rights, the line between sentience and non-sentience, the right to consent or not to consent, whether the ends outweigh the means... You know, basic debates that make us all Gilesan (or human especially).”

“So, Leader Parsec,” asked Alec, “How did we not notice the black hole before today?”

“That right there is the big question!” said Chromer, “With our tachyon sensors we should’ve noticed it years ago. It’s like it popped up out of nowhere! But that’s crazy, right?”

“Not quite as crazy as birthing universes from black holes or building planets from scratch,” said Alec.

“The laws of physics allow for what we do. They do not allow a black hole to spontaneously appear without any sign of a collapsing star or anything like that!” said Chromer.

“What if the black hole is manmade?” asked Alec.

“We do that sort of thing on occasion, but not that close to New Canaan and we always open the black hole with exotic matter immediately afterward,” said Chromer, “If it is manmade, either one of our guys is utterly incompetent or someone made the black hole to attack us. I’ve seen both before in my 34,300 years of life. Way before the Swanson Protocol was discovered, there was a species called the Mikhats who would go system to system creating black holes using dark matter to destroy their enemies. That method allows you to create black holes of almost any size because dark matter doesn’t interact with normal matter. They almost succeeded in wiping out all sentient life in the galaxy 12,000 years ago. My people, the Gilesans, were the only major race to survive because we cracked the location of their home planet: a now-destroyed system in the Large Magellanic Cloud. We were the ones who destroyed it. And just in time too because the next system on their death list was your home system of Sol. Of all currently existing life in the galaxy, only the Gilesans and Humans were known to be spacefaring during the Mikhat Wars and survive.”

“You think the Mikhats might’ve done this?” asked Alec.

“I honestly doubt it,” said Chromer, “The only surviving ones we know of are on a special quarantined planet. But the galaxy’s a big place, so who knows? Maybe we missed one and they’ve just been laying low for thousands of years. Anyway, we’ll figure it out and whoever did this will havetheirsystem black hole-d. If indeed it was manmade.”

“So, what do you got planned for me for tomorrow?” asked Alec.

“I don’t know,” said Chromer, “The computer decides that. But whatever it is, I’m gonna make a point of doing it with you because you are a Swanson, and that makes you an elite! In fact, if you’d like, I’ll let you live in a penthouse on Zion!”

“Nah, I prefer the suburban life,” said Alec.

“Fair enough,” said Chromer, “See you tomorrow.”

“See ya!” said Alec.

Shortly after Chromer left for Zion, Alec recieved a notification on his phone that he’d been paid 500,000 credits for the day. Deciding to spend some of the money, he started walking towards the famous New Ashkelon Cantina down the street.

As he was halfway there, someone said, “Hey, it’s you! From the debate!”

“Yeah, I was at the debate,” said Alec.

“Johnathan Anderson,” said the man, “I live here on New Ashkelon. Wanna grab a drink?”

“I’m actually just getting something to eat. I’m not a drinker,” said Alec.

“I get it.” said Johnathan, “Don’t worry, the New Ashkelon Cantina has good food too.”

“So,” said Alec, “Are you one of those people who spends their whole life in the Open Forums?”

“Not my entire life but a big chunk of it,” said Johnathan, “When I’m not there I specialize in terraforming planets.”

“How long does it take to build them from scratch?” asked Alec.

“I’m not one of those people who builds them from scratch, but I know they take about two years to complete assuming Earth size or Zion size, both of which are roughly the same, thanks to the fact that the process is basically a self-perpetuating cycle.” said Johnathan.

“What about terraforming?” asked Alec.

“Depends on the planet’s atmosphere and size,” said Johnathan, “An Earth-size planet with the right atmosphere might take three months, while a planet with no atmosphere or a terrible atmosphere might take six.”

“The wonders of the Exotic Matter Age!” said Alec.

“Yep. Back in 2105 it took almost a hundred years to terraform Venus and another 200 to terraform Mars. Now we do it in a hundredth of that time!”

Once they reached the Cantina, Johnathan ordered a country fried chicken dinner and tea for himself and Alec ordered a medium rare steak and coffee.

“Lemme ask you something,” said Alec, “Was there really a murder the last time you debated the sentience chip issue?”

“Oh yeah,” said Johnathan, “Someone on the anti-chip side beat a pro-chipper to death with a baseball bat! He’s facing trial next week. It’s that one percent on either side that cause all of the problems.”

“Oh, fun,” said Alec.

“It was fun to watch, but not so fun for the guy who got ended,” said Johnathan.

“So, what do they have you doing tomorrow?” asked Alec.

“Terraforming, of course!” said Johnathan, “They gave me a really easy one this month. It’s named Kepler 56g. Fun thing about it is, it’s already got all the right ingredients for life. It’s just that Mother Nature overlooked Kepler 56g. It’s weird that we can do all this, but we still can’t figure out where life came from to begin with...”

“Some higher power, probably,” said Alec, “I find it hard to believe our universe came from an explosion. But who did it is well above my pay grade.”

“Right?” said Johnathan, “Anyway, did you get your assignment for tomorrow yet?”

“I haven’t checked,” said Alec.

“Let’s look you up, then!” said Johnathan. Johnathan looked up Alec’s assignment for the next day, and said, “Looks like you’re with me tomorrow. The computer likes to assign newbies to whoever they hang out with initially if possible. So I’m not surprised we’re together.”

“So, you and Maya Forstater, do you two go at it a lot?” asked Alec.

“Yeah,” said Johnathan, “She’s a hotshot in the biology department and basically the leader of the ‘No Chips for Apes’ movement. It’s ridiculous is what it is! We don’t need consent from infants to give them their meds, and we don’t need consent from apes to chip them!”

“Okay,” said the waiter, “Here’s your bill for today. 56,440 Credits.”

“I’ll get it,” said Johnathan, “You need to save your money. I’m already rich even by Architect standards.”

“Thanks, Johnathan!” said Alec.

“No problem,” said Johnathan.

Alec’s Sleep Pod woke him up at 6:30 AM local time the next day. After quickly getting ready, he climbed into his personal spaceship to head to the Terraforming Division Headquarters on Zion to meet up with Johnathan.

Johnathan was already waiting for him at the wormhole opening. “Hey, Alec!” he said, “Welcome to day two of the rest of your working life! Follow me, we’re walking right to Kepler 56b!”

Alec and Johnathan crossed the wormhole to the inside of a small colony on Kepler 56b that the Architects had set up.

“Okay,” said Johnathan, “Welcome to Kepler 56b. More specifically, the Architects’ base of operations on this planet. We have over 50,000 people working here to terraform this planet. Thanks to this planet’s decent starting conditions, we’re a good ways into doing that.”

Just then, Chromer Parsec stepped through the portal as well.

“Hello boys!” said Parsec, “Fine day, what?”

“Leader Parsec, you’re a welcome surprise!” said Johnathan, “What brings you here?”

“I promised Mr. Swanson I’d assign myself to work with him today,” said Parsec, “As you can tell by his last name, he’s kind of a big deal!”

“We’ll see about that!” said Johnathan, “Leader, Alec, come with me!” Chromer and Alec followed Johnathan to the colony’s north entrance. “Okay Alec, our first assignment for today is to verify that Sector 27′s solar panels are on and working. The solar panels, as you learned in college, are there to power a self-replicating drone factory. Those drones are responsible for the brunt of the work when it comes to terraforming planets. They spend their day-long existence spraying nutrients into the soil, balancing out the atmosphere, and about a thousand other jobs. They can even make more copies of themselves using the factory! That’s why it’s absolutely critical that the solar panels are on and working. We need to check to see if they’re working, then report back! Everyone, hop into this personal spaceship!”

Alec, Chromer, and Johnathan boarded the personal spaceship, and Johnathan flew the ship to Sector 27′s power facility and drone factory. Once there, it was immediately apparent that the base was in ruins.

“What happened here?” asked Alec.

“Well, judging by the blue slime everywhere...” Johnathan didn’t have a chance to finish his sentence before a slimy, dark blue alien monster resembling a hydra rose out of the smoking crater and roared, “Crater Python Hydra Monster Mutant! Look out!”

The trio got out their laser rifles and started firing on the massive beast. “I thought you said this planet was uninhabited!” said Alec.

“I thought so too!” said Johnathan, dodging a glob of blue slime fired from the mutant’s spit glands.

“Crater Vipers can live almost anywhere!” said Chromer, “I’ve encountered them on planets orbiting pulsars for eff’s sake!” Immediately upon finishing that sentence, Chromer was slimed by the monster.

“I’ve got you, Leader!” said Alec, as he grabbed a hand grenade and threw it into the monster’s gaping mouth. It exploded inside the monster’s esophagus, ripping the monster to shreds and covering everything for a few hundred yards in slime.

“Good job!” said Johnathan, “Architect Combat Manual Chapter 3, Section 4: If you can’t laser it, hand grenade it!”

“Eww!” said Chromer, “My brand new jumpsuit, and my everything, all covered in blue slime!”

“Also in the Combat Manual, somewhere, I’m sure: Don’t bring anything on high risk missions that you ain’t prepared to get covered in slime!” said Alec.

“Well, I guess we can safely count Section 27 as a total loss!” said Johnathan, “Shame. I helped build it myself!”

“Crater Pythons are bad enough when they’re a lone organism,” said Chromer, But a Crater Python Hydra Monster Mutant? Scariest creature there is. And the slimiest!”

“Okay, let’s call in a cleanup crew and jet back to base. The day is just getting started!” said Johnathan.

After arriving back at the Architects’ main base of operations on planet Kepler 56b and cleaning themselves off, Alec headed to the greenhouse wing for his next assignment, while Johnathan went to the computer lab to write a report on the day’s events so far. Chromer was already there waiting for Alec.

“Okay Alec,” said Chromer, “This is the greenhouse wing. It’s where we prepare plant specimens to be put onboard personal spaceships and planted in designated areas around the planet. It’s the second-to-last step in the terraforming process. The next step is to populate the planet with animal life.”

“So what’s my purpose here?” asked Alec.

“Your job is to verify these plant specimens are ready for planting!” said Chromer, “If a plant specimen strikes you as ready for planting, you place a green sticker on its pot. If a plant needs more time to grow, you leave it as is, with the yellow sticker. If a plant is dying or diseased, or for whatever reason can’t be planted ever, you place a red sticker. Someone will come around later today and compost the red ones, care for the yellow ones, and plant the green ones.”

“Got it!” said Alec.

“Good!” said Chromer, “If you need any help deciding, talk to the greenhouse wing’s manager.”

“Okay,” said Alec.

“I will see you in two hours for lunch!” said Chromer.

Alec began examining one plant after another, stamping some with green stickers, leaving most of them alone, and stamping red the few that were unfit for planting. It was a welcome change of pace from battling a giant monster, but he couldn’t help but feel it was a job far below his level. The manager walked by him and said, “Hey, I can tell you’re bored. Sometimes you gotta work your way up to the fun stuff by slaving in the greenhouse!”

“At least I have some fun tasks coming up later today,” said Alec, “I can’t wait!”

“What do they got for ya later?” asked the manager.

“I’ve got lunch at 12:30, pool exercises from 1:00-2:30, robot construction from 2:30 to 3:30, and base building from 3:30-5:00. Then it’s back to New Ashkelon and home!”

“You like building stuff, huh?” said the manager.

“Yeah, building was always my thing! I was raised on a lot of building games growing up!” said Alec.

“My name is Claire, by the way!” said the manager, “Claire Tomiek.”

“Alec Swanson,” said Alec.

“I know!” said Claire, “You’re practically famous because of your family name!”

“I guess I am,” said Alec, “Leader Chromer is gonna have lunch with me!”

“Leader Parsec is having lunch with you?!” said Claire, “I’m so jealous! Some people go their whole lives in the Architects without ever meeting Chromer! Can I come with?”

“It’s a date!” said Alec.

In the lunchroom, Chromer was waiting for Alec at the back of the lunch line. “Good to see ya!” said Chromer, “How was greenhouse duty?”

“Fine, I guess. It was a little below my level of skill,” said Alec.

“I wondered why you were assigned greenhouse duty myself,” said Chromer, “Apparently one of the botanists called in sick. Don’t worry, I made sure your remaining tasks for the day were building tasks, which from what I read in your file is your favorite area of study.”

“I thought the computer set our tasks,” said Alec.

“The higher-ups, myself included, can override the computer,” said Chromer.

“Right...” said Alec.

“Hey Alec!” said Claire.

“Hey, Claire!” said Alec, “Here’s Leader Parsec!”

“I just want to say what an honor it is to meet you, Leader Parsec!” said Claire.

“Thank you,” said Chromer.

“So Alec, what’s your field of study?” asked Claire.

“Well let’s see, I’ve got degrees in physics, spacetime manipulation, communications, general construction, biology, terraforming, astronomy, English, Spanish, Latin, Gilesan, Gargantorian, and general arts,” said Alec, “But my favorite area of study is construction. Robots, bases, planets, you name it! I actually helped design a space elevator on Mars while I was still in college!”

“Very cool!” said Claire, as the three of them sat down, “I only majored in biology, so I do pretty much the same thing every day. Not like you, you probably get around quite a bit!”

“It’s only my second day. Yesterday I did Open Forum. Until we had to evacuate for a black hole emergency!” said Alec.

“That must’ve sucked!” said Claire, “How close did the black hole get?”

“Like 50 billion miles away,” said Alec, “Apparently that’s the distance where they order an evacuation.”

“Did it pass you by or did you have to open it up with exotic matter?” asked Claire.

“We opened it up,” said Chromer, “I’d rather be safe than sorry.”

“So how does that work anyway?” asked Claire.

“Every black hole has what’s known as a ringularity at its center. It’s an incomprehensibly thin ring containing the entire mass of whatever collapsed to form it. Pumping exotic matter into the middle of the ring forces it to expand until it is no longer a ringularity, and the event horizon dissolves,” said Chromer.

“So what does a ringularity look like?” asked Claire.

“It looks kind of like the ring I’d like to give you!” said Alec.

“Slow your roll Alec, we just met two and a half hours ago!” said Claire.

“So, you got pool exercises after lunch?” asked Alec.

“Yeah, I do. You a good swimmer?” asked Claire.

“Actually, not really,” said Alec, “I was never much of a swimmer.”

“We’re gonna change that today!” said Claire.

“Wishful thinking,” said Alec.

“Trust me, I taught my dog to swim, I can teach you too!” said Claire.

Johnathan Anderson sat down at the table next to Claire. “Hey, Alec!” he said, “You’re dating Claire Tomiek? Good for you!”

“We’re not dating!” said Claire.

“You two would be perfect for each other! You’re both the same age, you’re both from Chicago, you both live on New Ashkelon, and you both went to Megatower Heights University in Manteno!” said Johnathan.

“How do you know all that after knowing me for one day?” asked Alec.

“I looked at your file. You know everyone’s basic information are available on the Architect Intranet right?” said Johnathan.

“I didn’t know you went to Megatower Heights!” said Claire, “Hail to the Greenskins!”

“Hail to the Greenskins!” said Alec.

“Greenskins,” said Chromer, “It’s not okay to have a team named Indians anymore, but us ‘aliens’ are fair game I guess.”

“Give it a rest, the team was named before we even knew aliens existed,” said Alec.

The loudspeaker came on a few minutes later. It announced, “Attention: all employees scheduled for 1:00 pool exercise should report to their assigned changing room in five minutes. Thank you for your cooperation!”

“That’s us! Time to go to the pool!” said Johnathan.

After heading to the changing rooms to change into their respective wetsuits, Alec, Johnathan, Chromer, and Claire headed to the encampment’s pool, located outside on the south side of the main building. Pools were standard for most Architect bases, as they helped base inhabitants get their mandatory exercise while also counteracting the effects of differing gravity. Kepler 56b Station was one of the few to have an outdoor pool due to it having desert-like average temperatures and an atmosphere breathable to humans.

“So Alec,” said Claire, “You said you weren’t that good a swimmer?”

“Yep. As in I stay in the shallow end of the pool unless I’m doing deep-water training, and in that case I’m in a spacesuit attached to a tether and there’s a ladder nearby.” said Alec.

“Watch me,” said Claire, as she got into a swimming position, “Push yourself up, then move your arms like this!”

Alec did as he was instructed.

“Okay,” said Claire, “Now do that but move your legs like this as well!”

“Don’t make me regret this!” said Alec, as he got into a swimming position and began to swim as he was instructed. After a few tries, he got the hang of it.

“Great job!” said Claire, “You’ve officially learned to swim!”

Alec did one lap and returned to Claire. He said to Claire, “I’m taking you on a date. Where would you like to go?”

“My favorite restaurant is Club 1290 on Zion. It’s in one of the lower basement levels of Zion’s capital city. It’ll blow your mind how fancy it is even by Zion standards!”

“And this restaurant is affordable?” asked Alec.

“It’s about 15,500,000 credits for guests, but I have an annual membership and I can bring a guest,” said Claire, “So for you, no charge!”

“It’s a date!” said Alec.

It was 8:00 PM, Zion time. After enjoying a few hours of alone time, Alec made his way to the Zion Palace, the tallest building on Zion, reaching over 1000 stories into the sky. It resembled a ziggurat, but much, much taller and thinner. An escalator starting at the main level led down five stories to the famous Opulence Concourse. It was your standard high-end mall, albeit one done in the finest of Gothic styles, resembling any of the finest cathedrals built in the Gothic era of European architecture. It featured handcrafted art of every kind, similar to the Sistine Chapel if not more luxurious and much less church-y. It was ten stories deep, with massive columns supporting the gigantic building above it.

On the lowest level of the mall was Club 1290, a work of art in itself that charged almost a week’s wages for a man like Alec, or multiple weeks’ wages for a yearly membership. It served the best food and drinks you could find anywhere in the New Canaan system. It featured stained glass, ornate wood paneling, and a fish tank filled with blue lobsters. Alec would normally never dream of eating at a place like that due to its cost and the fact he was only two days into his career, but Claire had won a year-long membership in a contest, allowing her to eat there whenever she wanted.

Alec met Claire at the door, and they exchanged a kiss. After waiting about half an hour for their table, the host escorted Alec and Claire to their table, where their appetizer of beluga caviar was already waiting for them on their table.

“I’ve never eaten food this fancy in my life!” said Alec.

“I’ve eaten here every day for the last two months,” said Claire, “I won a membership for a year in a contest two months ago.”

“What was the contest?” asked Alec.

“Biggest tomato,” said Claire, “Mine technically wasn’t the biggest one presented but they also looked at whether they could reproduce it and get a similar result. My tomato was able to reproduce equally massive tomatoes, so I won! They’re actually using my tomato’s descendants to feed animals on the planet Jo-ab now.”

“Pretty cool!” said Alec, “So what do you like to do in your free time?”

“Well, I grow my own garden of giant tomatoes, specialty peppers, and blueberries. My favorite show is ‘My Vegan Kitchen’. I have two cats at home, an orange Persian named Plumpus and a Maine Coon cat named Fatso. Wanna see pictures of them?” asked Claire.

“Sure,” said Alec.

“Here ya go!” said Claire.

“Holy cow those are big cats! How old are they?” asked Alec.

“5 and 8,” said Claire.

“Perfect age for cuddling!” said Alec.

“Right?” said Claire.

The waiter arrived at their table and said, “Good evening. May I take your order?”

“I’ll take a blue lobster with collard greens and rice pilaf,” said Alec.

“And you, Miss?” said the waiter.

“I’ll have the blue cheese t-bone steak with broccoli and steak fries!” said Claire.

“So,” said Claire, “Other than building stuff, what do you like to do with your free time?”

“Video games,” said Alec, “And chess, usually against myself.”

“What do you think of Zion? And New Canaan in general?” asked Claire.

“It’s everything I’ve ever dreamed of!” said Alec, “I got to visit twice in college on tours. But I’ve lived in Chicago most of my life. It’s like heaven on Earth!”

“On Zion, you mean!” said Claire.

“Right. If heaven isn’t as beautiful as Zion, I’m not going!” said Alec.

“So, is your great-grandfather still alive?” asked Claire.

“198 next month!” said Alec, “And he’s still young!”

“I’d love to meet him some time,” said Claire.

“That can be arranged,” said Alec.

“Your food, sir!” said the waiter, having arrived with their food.

“Thank you,” said Alec.

“Your food, ma’am!” said the waiter.

“Thank you,” said Claire.

“Everything is just so over the top here on Zion!” said Alec.

“Yeah,” said Claire, “But when you have the entire wealth of the galaxy at your back you can do pretty much whatever you want!”

“I have your bill for you, whenever you’re ready!” said the waiter.

“Thank you,” said Alec.

“Wait till you see the bathhouse in Club 1290!” said Claire.

“I should’ve known to pack a wetsuit!” said Alec, “I knew you’d probably want me to go swimming!”

“They supply the wetsuits for ya!” said Claire.

“Great,” said Alec, “Just to be clear, I am a strong believer in waiting until marriage. We’re just gonna sit in the hot tub and chat.”

“That’s what I had in mind, don’t worry!” said Claire.

Alec and Claire finished their food, paid for their meal, and headed for the bathhouse. The bathhouse was designed after Knossos, the famous Ancient Greek city famous for its bathhouse.

“So,” said Claire, “Whaddya think?”

“As I said, everything here is way over the top!” said Alec, “I love Zion. But I wonder if maybe some of this money would’ve been better used lifting up the poor than decking out the columns in solid gold.”

“The Architects give money to feed the poor,” said Claire, “We have a whole division dedicated to providing food and housing to the poor.”

“I guess that’s good,” said Alec, “It’s thanks to people like us that your likelihood of dying of starvation anywhere in the civilized Milky Way Galaxy is basically zero.”

“Tell me about your college experience,” said Claire, “Did you play any sports in college?”

“No, but I worked out. I lifted weights, walked laps in the shallow end of the pool, all that stuff!” said Alec.

“How did you get all those degrees?” asked Claire.

“Well, I was in college for almost thirteen years. I took ten classes a day some semesters. That was possible because Megatower Heights University normally doesn’t give out homework; you’re learning by doing most of the time.”

“I liked that about Megatower Heights too!” said Claire, “What year did you graduate?”

“Class of 45,122!” said Alec.

“Same as me!” said Claire, “But I was hired as an Architect two years into botany, so I did college and work at the same time.”

“Usually they don’t hire students in undergrad college still!” said Alec, “Anyone can enter that contest, but only a few are chosen a month.”

“I got lucky,” said Claire, “I came in fourth place out of five in the ceremony, but right when they were about to summon the two winners to Zion, both of them were found to have plagiarized their final essays!”

“You really did get lucky!” said Alec.

“You on the other hand, no way in hell you weren’t getting chosen with all of your degrees and your family name!” said Claire.

“Honestly, I probably could’ve gotten a video game design certificate and still gotten in because my great-grandfather, grandfather, and father were judges in the award ceremony I got picked from, and I’d only have needed one more vote to get in!”

“Hey guys,” said the bathhouse attendant, “We’re closing early today. We have to get a leaky pipe fixed.”

“Understandable,” said Alec, “We’ll be out in a minute.”

Saturday in the Architects’ Order for those not in charge of experiments requiring 24/7 supervision even on weekends and those who aren’t full time Open Forum Architects has always been Open Forum day. The Open Forums are always full to bursting on Saturday thanks to seminars and the fact that it’s the only day for many Architects to go to the library.

Alec arrived at Open Forum #77 at 8:00 for his time in the library. After a few hours of reading treatises on Neo-Babylonian architecture, the style in which many buildings in Zion were built, he received a call from his great-grandfather, Fred Swanson.

“Hello?” said Alec.

“This is Grandpa Fred. I’ve got something cool to show you. Meet me in the Universe Construction Division lobby!”

“I’ll be there in a minute,” said Alec.

Alec arrived at the UCD at 1:30 PM. His great-grandfather, who in any other era might’ve been mistaken for being 35 years old, was waiting for him there in the lobby.

“Hey Alec,” said Fred, “How’ve the first three days of your working life been going so far?”

“They’re everything I ever dreamed they’d be and then some!” said Alec.

“Come with me,” said Fred, “I’ve got something to show you!”

Fred led Alec to the roof of the Universe Construction Division, where a ship was waiting to take them through an opened black hole to a universe Fred had been working on for almost forty years.

“Welcome to Universe Fred Swanson-31: my favorite of all the universes I’ve seeded over the years! Been workin’ on it for forty years!” said Fred.

“What’s so special about it?” asked Alec.

“It has the highest speed of light of any universe created by the Architects so far. That and it’s the most developed universe I have in my collection. 25 galaxies, 100 billion stars, and over 500 billion planets, of which 4,000,000 are habitable. I have over 50 billion Gargantorians living in this universe. They multiply like rabbits, as you probably know, and they’re small enough to not need much space, so they’re perfect for mass colonization of the latest planets completed by the self-replicating drones,” said Fred.

“Amazing,” said Alec.

“Welcome to Dalmatia, the capital of UFS-31,” said Fred.

“It’s more beautiful than Earth even!” said Alec.

“Thank you,” said Fred, “Heaven knows I programmed the drones to make it that way!”

“Question: where do they find enough rock, soil, air and water to build an entire planet?”

“Water is easy. Hydrogen plus oxygen equals water. Air is easy too; just fuse hydrogen together enough times to make oxygen. For rock, the drones dismantle useless planets, combine asteroids together, et cetera. We have whole universes we’ve visited just for the purpose of mining them out for resources. Sometimes we even move habitable planets by wormhole from one place to another.”

“Sometimes, I still wonder what the point of all of this is,” said Alec.

“Because we can!” said Fred.

Alec and Fred landed on Dalmatia and stepped outside. Its capital was by no means a big city; less than 50,000 people (mostly Gargantorians) lived there and only one part of the city was meant to house adult humans. However, in true Architect fashion it was designed to be as over the top as possible.

“Careful where you’re steppin!” said Fred, “Gargantorians are itty bitty things!”

“I know, Grandpa. I studied Gargantorian in college!” said Alec.

“Greetings, Fred!” said the mayor of Dalmatia City, a Gargantorian named Xenon Lightwave.

“Hello Mayor Lightwave!” said Fred, “How goes life?”

“Great!” said Mayor Lightwave, “What brings you here?”

“Just spending some quality time with my grandson!” said Fred.

“Well then,” said Mayor Lightwave, “I hope you enjoy yourselves.”

“Thank you,” said Fred.

Fred showed Alec around for a few minutes, until they were interrupted by a Gargantorian scientist: “Excuse me, sir!” said the scientist, “But your wormhole just closed behind you!”

“What?!” said Fred.

“There was a supernova on the other side and it turned your portal back into a black hole!” said the scientist.

“How was there a supernova on a red dwarf star?!” asked Fred, angrily.

“We don’t know, sir!” said the scientist, “But I fear the Mikhats might be making a comeback!”

“What are we waiting for?” said Alec, “Let’s go pry open the white hole with some exotic matter!”

“No, Alec!” said Fred, “That won’t work! The white hole will just force the exotic matter back out again!”

“What if we open our own black hole?” asked Alec.

“It would take us to a third universe, not ours!” said Fred.

“Why don’t we just use exotic matter to power through the white hole and out the black hole?” asked Alec.

“The ringularity would rip us to shreds!” said Fred.

“Fred, Alec,” said Mayor Lightwave, “I have ordered a hotel room for you in the human section of town.”

“Thank you,” said Fred.

Fred and Alec checked into the hotel and waited for any semblance of good news or a good idea to spring up from among them.

“I’ve got it!” said Alec. “You know how FTL travel means going back in time? You know how our exotic matter drives also have sublight drives so we don’t travel back in time when traveling FTL?”

“Yeah,” said Fred.

“What if we disabled the below-FTL drive on our ship and time traveled back to a time when the wormhole was open?!” said Alec.

“Brilliant!” said Fred, “Not only that, we can stop the Mikhats from blowing up that star! Only problem is, time travel is strictly prohibited by Architect law.”

“Screw Architect law, our lives are in danger and so is Zion’s!” said Alec, “Let’s go!”

Fred and Alec rushed back to their spaceship, and Fred turned off the sublight drive. The duo calculated how much time they’d need to go FTL to go back in time enough to make it out of the black hole and launched into orbit. Sure enough, they managed to go back to a time when the black hole was open. Fred and Alec emerged from the opened black hole just in time to intercept the Mikhat vessel and blow it up before it could do any harm to the system.

“You know, I’d like to think we made a difference today,” said Alec.

“You think?” said Fred, “One last thing before we return to Zion: no one can ever know we time traveled. It’ll be both of our heads if someone does.”

“I don’t understand why you didn’t stay on as Architect Leader? You could’ve made that decision for yourself!” said Alec.

“Because I served two ten year terms. That’s twenty years,” said Fred.

“This isn’t 2024!” said Alec, “You’ve got enough years in your 11,000 year life expectancy to serve as Architect Leader for longer than that.”

“I’m of the opinion that people should serve two terms in office if that’s what the voters want, then step aside,” said Fred.

“Whatever you say, Pops!” said Alec.

Alec and Fred returned to Zion with a hero’s welcome for destroying the Mikhat ship. Leader Chromer Parsec was there to greet them as they landed and presented them both with an award for their heroism.

“For winning an unlikely victory against the galaxy’s greatest threat without any help from the actual armed forces, I present you with these medals of heroism!” said Chromer.

“Thank you,” said Alec and Fred.

“How did you do it anyway?” asked Chromer.

“Snuck up behind it, missile straight to the ship’s cockpit!” said Alec.

“With a single small personal spaceship? That’s a good strategy,” said Chromer, “We will adopt it for future use.”

“Sir,” said Parsec’s Gilesan military advisor Antareon Azulon, “We’ve got trouble! Mikhat fleets have surrounded New Canaan!”

“Blow ’em out of the sky, same as before!” said Chromer, “Everyone who’s not military, please take the emergency portals back to your home planets. RED ALERT!”

Alec rushed into the nearby United Nations of Earth’s embassy and hopped through the portal to the UNE’s headquarters in New York City. He didn’t much care what city he ended up in so long as he was far away from the blast range if the Mikhats blew up New Canaan’s star.

Meanwhile, back in New Canaan, the Architects and the Mikhats fought a battle to the death with the Mikhat forces. Mikhat ships spawned in black holes, and Swanson Launchers opened them into harmless wormholes just as quickly. For every Mikhat ship destroyed, it seemed like ten Architect ships were destroyed.

Several planets including Alec’s home away from home, New Ashkelon, were detonated by the Mikhats, flinging trillions of tons of debris throughout New Canaan.

Finally, the Mikhats fired a beam of energy directly at New Canaan’s star to blow it up. However, at exactly the wrong moment, the Mikhat ship responsible for doing that was hit before it could finish the job, disabling it and thwarting the Mikhats’ plan to destroy New Canaan and Zion. The Mikhats fled after that, being chased down without mercy by the Architect military.

An hour later, the Galactic Council met at their usual headquarters, a space station orbiting the planet Uranus.

“The Mikhats have crossed the line!” said the ambassador from Gargantor, “We need to exterminate every last one of them this time!”

“How did they even get out of the shielded world we put them on?” asked Ty Parsec, President of the Gilesan Empire and brother of Architect Leader Chromer Parsec, “That shield was supposed to be impenetrable!”

“They got out through a wormhole,” said Ambassador Tesseroid of the Tesseract Collective, a robot army created by the Gilesans to protect the galaxy from the Mikhats.

“Where did that wormhole exit?” asked the ambassador from Earth.

“It opened into the Baggol System,” said Ty Parsec, “Three jumps from New Canaan. That whole system is currently under Mikhat occupation, but we have them blocked in. There are two planets in that system that are fighting to the death to free themselves from the Mikhats, but it’s not looking good!”

“I hereby order the offensive into the Baggol System to begin immediately,” said Chromer Parsec, “The shielded world, Mikhat Sanctuary, is to be destroyed as well.”

A little while later, back on Earth, Alec returned to his apartment in Chicago’s Megatower District. Feeling his dream of representing Earth as an Architect and his very life itself lay in ruins like New Ashkelon, he just laid in bed, staring at the ceiling. He received a call from Johnathan Anderson around 9:30 that night.

“Alec,” said Johnathan, “I just wanted to let you know they’re giving us both penthouses on Zion.”

“It doesn’t matter, Johnathan,” said Alec, “I’ve only been there three days and my new home planet was destroyed. The Mikhats are just gonna keep coming back for more.”

“Dude, they detonated the Mikhats’ homeworld a few hours ago!” said Johnathan, “And the Battle of Baggol, it’s gonna wipe them out for good!”

“The Mikhats are just gonna detonate Baggol’s star. The supernova will sterilize everything for a hundred light years, including Earth and Zion,” said Alec.

“Not on our watch!” said Johnathan, “Turn on your TV!”

Alec turned on his TV and saw the battle going on in Baggol. “Yikes!” he said, “How many lives will this cost?”

“Not gonna lie,” said Johnathan, “It’s a meat grinder. That’s why we could use your help!”

“Are you insane?” asked Alec, “I have no military experience and you just want me to fly to Baggol in my personal spaceship and fight?”

“We’re looking for someone to go on a daring, possibly a suicide, mission to detonate the Mikhats’ mothership. You have the technical know-how to get us in there. All we need to do is plant a fusion pulse charge on their reactor, get out, and detonate it remotely! Think about it: you’ll be rich and famous forever if we win! Or you might die. Whichever.” said Johnathan.

“All right, I’ll do it.” said Alec.

Alec arrived at a small outpost on the far outer reaches of the Baggol system early the next morning, ready for the mission that would bring him immeasurable personal glory... or instant death. 

Fred Swanson, Johnathan Anderson, Claire Tomiek, Chromer Parsec, and Maya Forstater were already there. It was by no means a team of supersoldiers, and that was the point.

“So,” said Chromer, “I brought you all here because we need something to break the stalemate in the Baggol system. I took inspiration from the way Alec and Fred snuck up on the Mikhat ship yesterday in their personal spaceship and put together a plan. I won’t lie to you: it will be no cakewalk! But if you succeed, you’ll not only be rewarded beyond your wildest dreams, you’ll be my heroes.”

“So what’s the plan?” asked Fred.

“I found a weak spot in the Mikhats’ mothership,” said Chromer, “It’s virtually impenetrable from the outside; they modeled its shields after the one we used to contain them on Mikhat Sanctuary. But the ship has one spot in its shield that is open: an exhaust pipe that vents out all of the ship’s highly toxic and highly radioactive waste. That pipe leads directly to the core. I commissioned this vessel here overnight: the Rad King One. It’s designed to allow you to survive in even the worst radioactive hells, and it’s the perfect size to fit in the exhaust pipe. It may not be enough.”

“We’ll do it!” said Maya.

“Yeah!” said everyone else.

“Okay,” said Chromer, “We need to select someone to go.”

“I’ll do it!” said Alec.

“Great!” said Chromer, “Just so you know, you likely won’t return alive.”

“I know,” said Alec.

Alec boarded the Rad King One and flew towards the battle. Baggol was a shattered ruin, with the empires of the galaxy feeding more and more men into the meat grinder, only for them to be disintegrated or ripped to shreds. The Mikhats had tried multiple times to detonate Baggol’s star, but Baggol’s star was a red giant, too large to be destroyed by their beam.

The Mikhats failed to notice the Rad King One, and Alec successfully slipped into the exhaust pipe. The mothership was almost continent-sized, so they knew it would take a while.

“Alec,” said Claire Tomiek over the radio, “If we don’t make it out of this, just know that I love you. You’re a hero, win or lose.”

“I love you too,” said Alec.

Just then, their ship was detected by a sensor, and a beam of radioactive element 145 (Mikhatium) was launched at them from the reactor. The element burned at over a hundred thousand degrees and covered the windshield in sludge, as well as spinning the ship around in circles.

“Damn it!” said Johnathan (over the radio), “Now you won’t be able to see to attach the fusion pulse charge!”

“Wait!” said Alec, “I’m just gonna launch it!”

“You’d need to figure out the exact right moment to do that,” said Fred.

“You need to somehow stop the ship from spinning out!” said Maya over the radio.

Alec leaned forward and pressed the spin control button on the ship, stopping it from spinning. He then faced the ship forward and launched the fusion pulse charge into the reactor.

Unfortunately, the Mikhats realized what was going on and shut the exhaust pipe behind them. Alec had no choice but to detonate the fusion pulse charge with the ship still in the pipe, praying that he’d somehow live.

Alec braced himself as the pulse charge detonated, destroying the Mikhat mothership. Amazingly, the Rad King One survived, but barely. As the Mikhat mothership detonated, the remaining Mikhat forces who weren’t destroyed by the blast surrendered out of fear of further destruction.

Alec was able to shake the radioactive material from the Rad King One and returned to the outpost from before. Chromer Parsec ordered the ship to be scrubbed with lead-and-graphite-covered washcloths before allowing Alec to report to medical for a radiation exam.

“Impressive,” said the doctor to Alec, “Only a few rems above normal.”

“Thank you,” said Alec.

Alec headed out to the lobby, where he was greeted by a small but rowdy crowd of fans, as he was now the galaxy’s greatest hero.

“Congratulations, Alec!” said Johnathan.

“Amazing, son!” said Fred.

Claire hugged Alec and kissed him on the lips. Alec proposed to Claire, who declined for now but agreed to be his girlfriend.

Back on Zion, Chromer introduced Alec to the Noir Penthouse, his new home, a penthouse designed in the style of a 20th century Turkish bathhouse.

“Welcome to your new home!” said Chromer.

“Thank you!” said Alec.

“I’ve arranged for you to take a week off,” said Chromer, “And you have a lifetime pass to Club 1290. You’ve earned both!”

“I don’t know what to say!” said Alec.

“Then don’t say anything. I’ll show myself out!” said Chromer.

For his third day off, Alec took Claire to the Club 1290 bathhouse.

“So,” said Claire, “How did you sneak past the Mikhats?”

“There weren’t too many left by that point,” said Alec.

“And how did you survive the explosion?” asked Claire.

“I guess I had a damn good ship,” said Alec.

“You know,” said Claire, “I’ve been thinking about that proposal, and I’d like to accept.”

“Gladly!” said Alec.

“The two kissed each other as the rest of the bathhouse applauded for them.

“You want to get married here at Club 1290?” said Claire.

“Sure,” said Alec.

“I’ll be the priest,” said Johnathan Anderson.

Alec, Claire and Johnathan changed back into their dinner clothes and climbed onto the stage in the dining room.

“Alec Swanson,” said Johnathan, “Do you take Claire Tomiek to be your lawfully wedded wife, for better or for worse, in sickness and in health, according to Leader Parsec’s holy ordinance, until death do you part?”

“Yes, sir!”

“And Claire Tomiek, do you take Alec Swanson to be your lawfully wedded husband, to honor and obey until death do you part?”

“I do!” said Claire.

“I now pronounce you husband and wife,” said Johnathan, “You may kiss the bride!”

With that, Alec and Claire ordered catering and sat down for a post-wedding meal.

“I never expected I’d not even know someone for a week and be married to them!” said Claire.

“Me neither,” said Alec, “But then again I never expected to save the galaxy within a week of being appointed an Architect.”

“So what’s next for us?” asked Claire.

“We do what we were always meant to do: make the galaxy a better place,” said Alec.