What is your opinion?
Bumblebee
"It’s good and now I want to know what happens!"
random thoughts
"This chapter pulled me in right away. The opening line and the whole “Wellspring only flows into the broken” idea is a strong hook, and Makari’s voice feels confident and personal without trying too hard. The arrival at the Elorian is vivid, and the father and brother tension lands because it feels like love mixed with fear, not just plot setup. I also liked the quick scanning of different recruits because it gives the world texture fast. The main fixes are mostly tightening and cleanup: a few sentences run long, there are some small grammar slips, and a couple moments repeat the same idea when one sharp line would hit harder. If you trim a bit of internal explanation and let a few more details show through action, the pacing will feel even more punchy."
