A sunset
“All what we see or seem is but a dream within a dream.” -Edger Allan Poe
The rush to a place. That was the only way to describe it. My legs pushed harder against the pedals. I reached the bridge. My feet pressed against the brakes of my bicycle. My heart was racing not from the ride, but from the sheer and fiery brilliance of the sky.
Even from afar, I could notice her eyes, for they were intimidating, teasing. That’s the only path to her mind. Her posture gave nothing away. One hand tucked into the pocket of her long coat, hair unsettled by wind. Her long bangs which covered her eyes enough to conceal the only way to her mind, her eyes. Her eyes were brightened; they were smiling.
I slowly went towards her. She glanced at me, unsurprised. There was always something about her eyes that makes you think she knows everything deep down, as if she had already finished a thought I was only beginning. The smirk only confirmed it.
“You’re late. ", she extended a hand towards me, perhaps to invite holding it. I was not quite good at social manners, so I smiled at her in return.
The sun dipped lower, bathing the landscape in a breathtaking crimson light. We watched it together.
As usual she started the conversation. “Do you ever feel happy when you’re with me?, she asked.
I looked at the water beneath the bridge. It reflected the molten hues in the sky.
I replied, “I honestly don’t know. But I do like the sunset.”
“Right. ", she paused and then added, “You always come back. Do ever wonder why?”
I lowered my eyes, and replied, “Do I?”
She didn’t like my answer, but I could tell she was not disappointed.
I looked at her again. Her expression was composed, her face a blank mask, impenetrable.
Sometimes, I get annoyed thinking if she is the mastermind who gave me this existence to publish some long-dreamed thesis in silence. Not a daring thought compared to all the possibilities I have gathered in my mind, honestly, but a haunting one regardless.
She sighed, “Your face looks like you hate me.”
I was startled but not enough to show her, I guess. She just caught me off guard, when I was thinking about her....... again.
I responded, “I can’t say I hate you, just a bit frustrated.”
She immediately pondered, “Hmm…...Are you in denial?”
I looked back at the water, hoping to find my reflection.
Replied to distract myself, “Denial of my existence?
Existing is experiencing. I wouldn’t be able to see this beautiful sunset, if it weren’t for you.”
“Hmm good point.” She smiled at me.
Without a goodbye or anything, she stepped away from the bridge. So, I naturally assumed I should follow her.
Up on my bicycle I go. Not side by side but keeping my distance following the long-seen path.
I followed her into her house, into her room, and sat on that familiar place. It was familiar. not homely.
Her usual passiveness towards me reflected that same feeling I usually get here.
I got bored while waiting for her again, I was not clingy because I had to be. It’s just, nobody else can see me except her. Nobody could talk, or hear, or love or hate me except her. There was no place for me to return to except her, I didn’t have to. But I felt like I could only get my answers if at least, I stick around her.
I asked myself recently when did it all start. I couldn’t grasp the sense of time around it.
It felt like forever and never. I asked myself to remember some haunting moment of realization.
There was none.
I was not sure if it was my distorted memory or distorted questions to myself. All I knew was simple, in fact. I like sunsets, especially crimson colored.
And all there is. she.
