Bart of War

Written by Matthew Sinn A.K.A. Sinbad the Mountain

My name is Bart Simpson, a 10 year old boy. Who lives within a little town name Springfield. Who attended the boring school of Springfield Elementary. Where everything was going as normal as it usually is. When we all heard Principle Skinner Attention students. We're a special assembly in the school gym right away. So everyone who's able to fit in there should go now. While your still able to grab a seat. Hearing this I assume it was something boring as we eventually got there and sat within the sixth row on the metal bleachers. Where we faced Principle Skinner standing in front of a microphone stand with microphone. Alongside this man I've never scene before. Which was this 30 year old man, standing at 5'8, thick long black hair tied into a pony tail, dress in simple dark blue jeans, colorful awesome looking hoodie, wearing glasses and dark brown color eyes. As Principle Skinner began speaking. Welcome students. For we have a special guest with us name Anthony Stone Hill. The C.E.O and owner of Mega Game Castle. Which was a major surprise for us, since they make some of the very best games kids in the U.S an other parts of the world. Who closely listened as he began speaking. I'm sure lots of you wonderful kids are wondering why you've been brought here. An will gladly tell you.

For our company are releasing our biggest game that's ever been made. Which we're calling Battle Map. Which is a gigantic massive open game world where you lead kingdoms, conquer others and compete to become the greatest king or queen in the gaming world. Which was amazing thought which began flowing through my mind as I saw myself within a fancy throne, with bullies acting as my court jesters, girls kind of liking me and respected by every gamer out there. As Anthony kept talking. Not only that, but we're also holding a special tournament. An that anyone who can win this tournament will receive a cash prize of 500,000.00 dollars. Which was a giant shock for all of us as we all gasped. While Anthony stood there while smiling as he then began speaking. Not only that but you'll be able to play the game on your game consoles, computers, tablets and cellphones too. So get your armies ready for....battle! Which made a lot of us cheer in joy. As we waited until later after school to begin straight away. While also closely looking at my many options for armies to choose. While also finding the three simple rules to follow.

Rule 1: No attacking the light blue towers.

Rule 2: No cheating.

Rule 3: No attacking folks waving white flag. Including the really dumb folks too.

With me scrolling downward for a while until finding something which caught my attention that was Celtic Warriors. Which were amazing strong, fierce warriors who weren't afraid to fight. Which I really liked and decided to go with them. Setting my videogame character within Northern Britannia, which was ancient England.

Who could clearly see that my character was a big buff man, standing at 5'9, long yellow hair and a Celtic tattoo on my upper right shoulder. Who really liked my awesome look here while also knowing that if I stood any chance at winning this tournament. An will have to make sure not to lose. Who would first have to takedown Sideshow Mel. Who was the only big foe I would have to face close by within the south end of Britannia. With me looking around and could clearly that I've got a good number of warriors here. But would also have to grow these numbers by attacking and defeating the nearby villages. Who began doing so straight away. As I began leading my warriors north an started heading towards the nearest enemy village. Which was full of what looked like cavemen of all things. That were armed with large bones, wooden spears, wooden clubs and stone knives. Who didn't seem to notice us as I had half of my warriors sneak over towards the left an then gave the signal. Causing them to start throwing their javelins. Which struck a few of them down as they began bleeding at the scene. As the rest of us then rushed in an started attacking them head on. Stabbing, slashing and bashing them with our clubs an swords. Which cause much blood to begin spraying all both onto me and the ground too. Catching these armed cavemen by surprise. Who kept bravely attacking here. Until they were all defeated. That's when I claimed control of the village and got more warriors for my army. Before going after four more villages of foolish cavemen and thankfully won each time. Until eventually crossing into Sideshow Mel territory. Who cautiously walked through here while watching out for the cavemen. With me still walking around until spotting some cavemen hiding within the tree line. That's when I made my warriors throw their javelins and struck some of them down before they rushed out to attack us. With my warriors an I then rushing in an began fighting hard.

As I dodged their wooden clubs but also their thrown spears too. Before slashing two of their necks open and then bashing three of their heads open. Who kept pushing hard as they began retreating an me leading my warriors towards the nearby village. Which my warriors an managed to soon capture. Allowing us to claim victory over this brief battle. Yet also knew that this was far from over. As I kept leading my warriors deeper into enemy territory. With no idea of the danger that was beginning to rise, inside of the home of Springfields richest an most evil man Mr. Burns. Who had heard about the tournament and major cash prize too. As he stood there in front of his fireplace. Watching the flames burn some raisin brand muffins given to him by some girl scouts. Who kept standing there as he spoke to his assistant Smithers. I must admit Smithers, that this cash prize has me thinking quite a bit. An perhaps I should try my hand at that cash prize. Which surprised Smithers as he began speaking. Mr. Burns sir. With all do respect, but....your not exactly a gamer. With Mr. Burns replying while still looking mad as usual. While that is true Smithers. I could have some of my staff members at the Nuclear Power Plant compete for the cash prize on my behalf. Along with the best possible gamer I'm able to afford. To play on my behalf. Thinking about this Mr. Smithers replied. While the idea is good sir. What happens if they decide to betray you and then take the cash prize for him or her self? This was a good concerning question. Which made Mr. Burns think carefully here before speaking. Hm....you may have a point Smithers. In that case, you'll have to play on my behalf. But also lead a team of Nuclear Power Plant employees. An if they try anything foolish. Then make sure they sign a contract which allows them to hand over the cash prize to me. Curious and concern Smithers asked him. How sir? Mr. Burns told him. Tell them it's to assure their safety or something at the Nuclear Plant. Understanding this Smithers replied. I'll get on it at once sir.

Which made Mr. Burns speak with a sinister smile. Excellent. For as this was going on, it was back within the video game that my Celtic Warriors an I were still kicking butt out of the cavemen as we soon found ourselves entering some kind of dinosaur graveyard. Where the bones of many dead dinosaurs were laying around an saw the tracks of what looked like smaller dinosaurs on the ground. An knew that this wasn't good. As we quickly saw cavemen on the backs of raptors rushing out with their spears ready from both sides. Along with a large number of armed cavemen being lead by Sideshow Mel ahead of us. An knew straight away that this was an ambush. Which cause me to speak in shock. I Kurumba! As we began holding our ground as they've cut down some of my warriors. With me quickly grabbing and pulling the caveman off before stabbing him with my sword. Who then got onto the raptor before riding it around an started fighting off the cavemen on the other raptors. Slashing each one of them while riding towards Sideshow Mel. Who saw this as he quickly began fighting me by swinging his large bone with his left hand at me. As I held my ground an kept fighting him off with my warriors pushing back the cavemen here. Until I've slashed his left arm an then his neck. Allowing me to slay Sideshow Mel where he stood. An cause what was left of his army to surrender. Allowing me to claim victory yet again this day. But also a bigger awesome army as well. As I now turned my attention towards the north. Where my next opponent was surely waiting. Who looked at my army and began speaking with pride. Forward my warriors. For we have us another foe to defeat. Who then following me straight away as we made it back to the village I owned an could clearly see. That it was even better then before. Since it now had a Raptor Pen. Which was sweet as a big group of Raptor Riders began following us north. Where we now found ourselves facing some random kid using some kind of warriors dress in wooden armor. Who had set a trap for me at this large hillside. Where they pushed down these burning logs. Which we quickly dodged as some of my warriors were crushed. As they then began shooting arrows with me leading the Raptor Riders towards the right side of the hill. Where we then rode up towards the top.

An began attacking the fleeing archers up there. Slaying a good number of them as my Celtic Warriors hurried up the hill an joined us as we began attacking the rest of the enemy army. Who quickly change their tactics by forming a wall of spearmen. With me holding back with my raptors. As my other warriors rushed in an were doing their best to bust through their line. With some of them rushing towards us an tried to stab me. Only to quickly dodge their spear and then stab their right eye. Causing the warrior to quickly fall as we then rode in and attacked the others. Which quickly lead to me taking out their leader and allowed me to double my armies size while also gaining bows an arrows. Including those of watch towers to help keep my village safe. Which made me really happy while also knowing that I would have to leave at one point to find new opponents to fight. Unless they come to me. When I suddenly got an email from Millhouse. With me quickly answering it and began reading what he had to say.

Hi Bart

Hope your doing well, for my Dad got into the tournament and are playing together as Vikings. An had taken down Ralph plus two other players as well. An are clearly determine to win that cash prize. Also hoping to become your ally? An hope you'll meet us within the north-east near the ocean. Where we're currently fighting.

Which cause me to start thinking carefully about this. For Millhouse was my best friend, though his dad wasn't exactly that popular. Yet with two Viking Armies watching my back. The chance of me being taken out by some other players wouldn't be that good. Yet again. There was a good chance that they'll want a big portion of the cash prize. When my alert thing started going off. Which was a clear sign that trouble decided to make it's way over to me. Who quickly ready myself as I checked the map and could clearly see that they were coming from the south-western shore. Who quickly lead my army down there was quickly as I possibly could.

Until getting there and saw this Hawaiian army coming from the sea, being lead by none other then Jason Momoa. Dress within wooden armor, while wielding a wooden spear and also carrying some sort of shark tooth weapon on his left side. Which was a big surprise for me as he seem to be looking around and speaking loudly. I know someone's watching me. So you might as well come out already. That's when I slowly did before speaking to him from the distance. Jason Momoa what are you doing here? With him answering my curious question. I guess you didn't hear the news. That this whole tournament thing is happening all across the good old U.S.A. With me more then wanting to win that cash prize to show my family how cool I am. This seem to make plenty of sense as I replied back. While that is cool of you, I'm also not planning to lose this fight. So you best give up. Which made Jason reply back. Sorry....but that ain't happening. As they quickly started attacking with my warriors rushing towards the beach and began to fight. With me going head to head against a celebrity. Which was really cool as he blocked some of my strikes with his wooden spear as he started moving backwards towards the water as his Hawaiian warriors began firing their arrows. With my wooden armor protecting some of me as he shoved me back with his wooden spear and then tried to stab one of my eyes. Who quickly dodged right an resume attacking. Trying my hardest to take this tough celebrity down. As he kept fighting me while speaking. I must admit. That your a real tough guy. But I've learned some nice moves from the Persians. As he started spinning his wooden spear around an making it hard for me to stab him. With me replying. You might be tough. But Bart Simpson doesn't fall so easily. As I managed to smack his left hand with my wooden club. Which cause him to drop his wooden spear and came close to stabbing him. But he dodged an then pulled out his club from his left side before swinging it at me like an angry Homer Simpson. Yet I thankfully knew how to handle one. As I quickly tripped him as he fell hard onto the sand before quickly grabbing him from behind. Before holding my sword near his neck and spoke. You've fought bravely but must also fall. When he quickly tossed a handful of sand at my eyes. Blinding me long enough for him to run towards the ships while shouting. Retreat! Who quickly sailed out of here. The dare fall here before me.

Who saw this as I was pretty grumpy by the dirty trick he used. Yet it was also a clever one. As I later sat down at the dinner table where I told everyone about my awesome fight. Which cause my dad Homer to smile and spoke. Wow son. I can't believe you managed to fight off Jason Momoa and almost came to defeating him. With me replying. Yeah....an it was pretty cool. With my mom Marge smiling and speaking while enjoying her healthy food. Well I'm glad your doing really well Bart. An with all that money. You could do a lot of really wonderful things. Like donating some of it to church or help a starving village somewhere. Which made my annoying little sister speak. I agree with mom. With me personally not into that sort of boring us. As I could obviously imagining myself using the money to tear down the school and then replacing with a super awesome kid place. But also become the richest kid in all of Springfield too. Who kept thinking about this for a while as I later went onto the game and told Millhouse about what happened earlier. Who was surprised as he spoke to me. Wow Bart. That is some pretty cool stuff. But....aren't you worried that he might come back for revenge? With me replying back. That's why I'm planning to go after him. But also agree to being your ally. Which made Millhouse really happy as he spoke with a big smile. I'm really glad to hear it Bart. Because I hear the bullies formed a dangerous alliance and are calling themselves; The Bone Raiders. Knowing that this was really bad I reply back. Glad to hear the warning and as soon as I'm done kicking Jason Momoa butt. I'll hurry over an give you an your dad a big hand. Unless you somehow reach me before I sail off. With Millhouse replying back. Copy that Bart. As we ended our chat as I was about to ready my army to cast off with my army to who knows where. When I got a sudden alert that somebody was approaching my land from the east. Which I've found annoying yet readied my army for whoever was coming my way. Who watched from the shore line as I've spotted Greek ships approaching.

Who quickly ready my defenses as they soon began setting foot onto Britannia here. Which were Greeks dress within bronze armor, armed with swords an shields plus spears too. As we quickly started firing many arrows while also throwing lots of javelins too. Striking a big number of them down while others were protected by their round metal shields. Before having my warriors shoot flaming arrows at the enemy and setting some of their ships on fire. Causing many Greek soldiers to start burning alive. While others jumped overboard an into the water. As we pushed hard against the enemy. With me taking one of their shields an began using it to make it easier to fight against my enemy. Who pushed forward with my raptor riders riding in and slaying more of these Greek soldiers. As who seem to be their Geeky leader coming over an start attacking me with his sword. With us quickly clashing hard within the water that reached our kneecaps. Yet we kept going here with me bashing his face three times over before slashing the man's neck. Causing the foolish geek to fall backwards into the water and with my army now bigger. I could now have my own ships with a wickedly cool flag waving above them. Before deciding to sail east and make my way to where Millhouse an his dad are both at. Knowing if they help me takedown Jason Momoa. Then maybe we can make our alliance look kind of cool. Who sailed far until reaching land. Which was under my complete control and got to walk through my really cool settlement of Celtic Warriors. Who had these shields made of cow hides an had the fresh warriors following uNorth-East. While also slaying lots of enemy forces an also growing my army too. Who kept going for over an hour until reaching Millhouse. With him and his dad both surprised as he asked me with a surprise confused expression. Bart, what are you doing here? I told them. I'm here to prove I'm your best friend. But also wasn't sure if Jason Momoa didn't form an alliance after fleeing from our last battle. Which was a wonderful surprise for them.

Understanding this Millhouse Dad replied while smiling. Well we're glad that you've agreed to being our ally Bart. An can't wait to kick more butt. Since my character is building some really good strong arms. For swinging my battle axe. With this said the three of us eventually cast off with our warships. Travelling far within the direction of where Jason Momoa controlled territory lies. An sure enough we've spotted it from our ships. Who could clearly see that it's waters were being well guarded by a couple of sailing ships. Which stood no chance against our ships. As we've soon began firing many arrows while also using our shields to block their thrown wooden spears and incoming arrows. Before quickly lighting them on fire and slaying lots of these Hawaiian warriors. Before setting foot onto what had to be Scotland. Who then split up and started attacking from both the north and south. Which cause his Hawaiian Warrior Army to be divided an stand no chance against us. Who pushed hard an slayed lots of them while also growing our armies as well. With me being allowed to claim Scotland as my own land. While Millhouse and his dad would later take control of Ireland. Since I couldn't afford to lose my only allies. As we eventually faced Jason Momoa in what would be known as the Battle of Warriors. Who managed to break through the defenses of our foes well guarded settlement. With me holding my ground against Jason Momoa. Who was trying really hard to hold his ground as he was using both his Shark Tooth Club and Stone Knife too. With me holding my ground as Millhouse Dad swung his long pole axe an struck him within the head. Catching him by complete surprise. As he stood there and spoke. Oh....no. Before he fell dead where he stood. Allowing us to defeat him. But also gain a major edge for when we eventually face The Bone Raiders.