Shadows (The Last Taboo 2)

He heard a woman’s voice, echoing through his head as he was floating on a pillow made from clouds. The sky was blue and clear, and the clouds he was floating on were made out of the purest white—he could see them even though he was pretty sure his eyes were closed. But when the woman’s voice spoke, a thunder echoed in the distance and he opened his eyes. The clear blue sky was melting in front of him like a color painting that someone poured a giant vial of the blackest ink possible, swallowing it all up right in front of Ryland’s eyes.

“Hello?”

The woman’s voice was clearer now, even though he didn’t know how could that be, because the clouds he was laying on turned dark and angry, charged with electricity that made his entire body tremble. He felt like he was in danger, that everything he came to regard as truth in his life would soon be shattered like glass – or covered over like a painting with black ink.

“Excuse me, sir?”

Ryland opened his eyes.

A concerned flight attendant was looking at him with her wide-opened blue eyes, almost as clear and as blue as the sky in his dream. Her hair was dark brown, like pure cocoa powder, and her face expressed worry, but also relief. Probably because I’m not dead, thought Ryland, as he rubbed his eyes with the back of his hands.

“I’m sorry to wake you, but you have you seat setting turned on to wake you when it’s time to eat,” she explained in an accent that was hard to place. Ryland’s eyes focused and he saw her tag: her name was Janina.

“Yes, thank you Janina,” said Ryland.

“And here’s your special vegan meal, sir,” said Janina. “What can I bring you to drink?”

“Apple juice, is fine,” said Ryland. “Thank you.”

“My pleasure,” said Janina. “I will be right back with the apple juice.”

Ryland didn’t feel like saying thank you for a third time, so he just nodded. He wasn’t really hungry, even though he hadn’t eaten anything since the bungalow. And he was tired. So tired, that he couldn’t even put it into words. He enjoyed every second of the orgy, but he was emotionally drained. He was trying not to think about what he discovered, but the thought just kept crawling back into his head.

He pulled his phone up, and opened the email that Samu received that he forwarded to himself. He read it over and over and over again, but he still couldn’t fathom what was really going on. He just knew, that whatever it was, he wasn’t ready for it. Even though he was fine and he did well, for the most part, Ryland was still scarred by what happened towards the end of that faithful year that completely turned his life upside down and changed it forever. That’s why he packed whatever he could, and left the bungalow without letting anyone know where he was going, not even his father and lover, Victor. Ryland wasn’t sure where this feeling was coming from, but he felt he had to get away from his father as soon as he could. It was like his mind went into a panic mode and he was stuck in a fight or flight episode, but how do you fight something that you don’t even know what that something it is?

So, of course, he consciously or subconsciously chose to flee.

He knew that everybody was going to be worried when they woke up and found him missing, but Ryland didn’t care. He already disabled his phone number, so he knew that they won’t be able to reach him. And by the time they found out where he was flying to, he would be lost and alone – not forever, Ryland never intended to leave forever – but just a few days until he gathered his wits and tried to find out more about this entire situation with Samu and uncle Tanner. The sensible thing might’ve been to just simply talk to the Finn, but Ryland couldn’t. He felt strong connection to this stranger he just met a few weeks ago – compelling, strong connection and it terrified him. Victor was all he knew, and he loved his father more than any man on this planet earth. So, it was scary for him that he was feeling those exact same feelings for a stranger. It freaked him out, made him feel all tingly in his limbs and face – and not in a good way.

“Your apple juice, sir,” said Janina, who suddenly was right next to Ryland’s seat again. “Let me know if you need anything else.”

“Of course,” said Ryland. “How much longer until we arrive?”

“We should be getting to Paris in an hour and thirty minutes, sir,” said the flight attendant.

“Wonderful. Thank you very much, Janina,” said Ryland.

“Of course, Mr. Lucas,” said Janina and she retreated.

Ryland finally started paying attention to his surroundings. He purchased a ticket in first class. The guy who was sitting right across from him in his own little first-class booth, was snoring quietly. Even though he wasn’t hungry, he decided to eat his meal because he wasn’t sure when he was going to be calm enough or have time enough on his hands to focus enough to eat. It turned out to be an Indian vegetable curry that wasn’t too hot, and Ryland enjoyed very much, but it was like a dream of enjoyment because he felt like he wasn’t present in his body, not fully.

As he was eating, he was trying to think what his next step was going to be. He wasn’t sure why he was going to Paris. Probably because it was the earliest flight out of that godforsaken place that had the airport that was closest to where they were staying for the northern lights. The lady who worked at the renter’s office was kind enough to find transportation for Ryland when he showed up, almost half-frozen to death, and knocked on the window of the little bedroom that was right next to the office. After he got to the airport, he said that he just needed to go south, and that he needed to get out of there as quickly as possible.

The lady at the airport said in perfect English that the next flight to Paris was leaving in thirty minutes, so there Ryland was. He wasn’t sure how long he was going to stay in Paris. He didn’t even know if he was going to stay at all, but something in his gut told him that there was something waiting for him in Paris, and he was going to follow that, because that was the only thing he had left now.

Samu was somehow related to uncle Tanner, and if he was related to uncle Tanner, then that meant that he was related to Ryland as well. Even though he never wanted to think of that fateful 2017, Ryland had to. Images of how he got sexually involved with his father, Victor, and his maternal uncle, Tanner, and that led to a chain of events that changed his life forever were flashing through his mind like a movie. Some of the changes were positive – like Ryland’s writing career. He loved writing more than he ever imagined he would, and he finally felt like he was in a world of his own when he was writing. It was the only thing that calmed down his chattering mind at times. But then, with the help of the shaman, Corbin, who turned out to be Ryland’s long-lost cousin and Matthew’s twin brother, Ryland’s ex-boyfriend and best friend, Larkin, and a friend of theirs, a witch by the name of Florence, managed to figure out that Ryland’s family, the Lucas’s, were under a horrible blood curse placed on them by his great-grandmother Augusta. She also said that the curse would only be broken when one Lucas descendants died for a true love. Naturally, everybody assumed it was Ryland, and Ryland felt like he did die for a little bit when he fell into that frozen lake, but except for uncle Tanner, who was murdered by Augusta, no one really died to break the curse, yet somehow the curse ended up being broken.

Of course it ended up being broken, because suddenly, Liam and uncle Hunter weren’t into each other anymore, Matthew didn’t find his twin brothers or Ryland attractive enough to fuck anymore, and except for Ryland and his dad, Victor, and the twins, Luke and Paul, no one in the family… well, kept it in the family. The twins, Ryland could understand… I mean, they were practically the same person and he had read plenty of accounts online about real-life twins being sexually attracted to one another. But why was he still with Victor? Ryland was shocked when he realized that didn’t know the answer to that question. Not really.

It wasn’t that he didn’t love his father. He did. He loved Victor more than he loved the sweet air in his lungs that kept him alive. But he never quite understood how the curse had actually been broken. It all kind of just ended. Augusta got her apology and she made peace with herself and her male descendants, and moved on. And Ryland was glad for that. All the gods, big and small, knew that he was very glad for it. But sometimes he wondered if he really only loved his father because… the curse was still not broken, somehow. He didn’t know if that made sense. Everything pointed toward the fact that it was broken… but some kind of shadow still loomed over Ryland and he just couldn’t shake the feeling off that something was horribly horribly wrong. It’s like when you know there’s going to be a storm outside, and that it’s going to be nasty.

“Mr. Lucas, I hope you enjoyed your meal,” Janina popped up again as if by magic. “I am going to have to clean up your tray because we are about to start descending soon.”

“Really?” Ryland didn’t notice the time slip by him so fast.

“Yes, sir,” said Janina as she picked up all the trash that was in Ryland’s way. “Just sit tight, play a movie on your screenif you want, and make sure you have your seatbelt on.”

Ryland never like descending, but this time he liked it even less. Somehow, it felt like he was going to plummet straight down to his death.

He closed his eyes, digging his fingers into the armrest.