Ultra's earthling

Sarah

Heat envelops me and my whole-body shakes. I have the feeling of flying in the wind.

Then the world tilts around and I am suddenly under a duvet.

A cold duvet. Svartlandia is almost always cold. With snow and ice.

For a moment I was somewhere else. Snowdrift. Actually, it is probably more than a snowdrift. It is a considerable layer. It is cold.

I can’t feel my feet. They’re way under the snow.

I wasn’t supposed to be lying here.

I had to walk around inside and press buttons. Check the numbers. Checking the temperature was constant. Svartlandia’s server farms stretch far and wide. Keeps the machines constantly cold.

I’ve been working here since I stopped going to school. Because of my smaller stature, I get the routes in between the more irregular structures and machines. I just got a bit late ouf my apartment today. I had this strange feeling in my body. A hint of something foreign. As if something is about to change. And so, I walked, distracted by my head. Once again, I forgot to notice where I was walking. And now I’m lying here under the snow.

On my way to work, I was late. In a path area where people rarely walk. I get one arm up and I get my other arm free. My legs come free. I’m sitting on my knees. I felt the cold and that my snowsuit didn’t resist the water and the cold. My clothes were starting to feel wet and I began to freeze.

I get up slowly. My hat is gone in the snow. My grandmother knitted it for me. One of the best Christmas presents I’ve ever gotten.

I shake my head. I look between the branches and under the snow. There’s not enough daylight for me to see that much. I decided to come back later and look for the hat. Maybe when I have time off. I’m late for work. I must hurry.

The back of my head is a bit sore. I must have slipped and hit it. My phone is in my pocket. But it’s soaked and my phone is black. Technology. It can’t keep up with the elements. The water and the snow, nature keeps disrupting tech.

I shake my head, a little pain, but it’s that not bad. I can walk, one step at a time. Gradually it’s getting better. I can walk a little bit faster. It’s going downhill now, I’m careful not to slip.

I just must take the scolding when I’m late. Although it is rare, that I’m late for work. The shift planner will probably be more lenient when I tell him what happened.

I look around. Is there someone behind me? I feel a presence. An animal? There’s rustling in the trees. It doesn’t sound like anything big.

- Who’s there?

- Hello?

It’s quiet again. Then I can hear rustling between the trees again somewhere.

-Hello?

It suddenly stops. I look around, but I can’t see anything. It must be my imagination. Has it gotten a little too quiet?

I continue at a slightly faster pace.

I rummage in my pocket and finally I find my access card. I’m standing in front of the door. I feel something behind me. I turned around. There’s no one to be seen. It must be the wind.

I held up the card. It registers as usual. I keep my eye in front of the scanner, another blink and the door slides open. I can go in.

The wind practically pushes me through the door. I lose my footing briefly and tumble through the door.

You’re late!

It comes from the person in charge of the watch. Adam. An annoying guy who follows most things with precision hearing and accuracy like hell. He stands with his back to a screen. But he knows it’s me.

- Check that the door is properly closed. It’s drafty!

It sounds cross coming from him.

- Sorry, I fell on the road.

The words come out of my mouth mumbling.

- Okay. Was it slippery on the paths again?

He looks at me. I don’t think I’ve ever seen him look worried about other people. But he looks at me with surprisingly worried eyes.

- Are you okay? You actually look a little pale.

He comes over to me. I don’t know what to say.

Suddenly there’s a rumble somewhere in the room. Adam looks in the direction of the sound.

- What was that?

He walks in that direction. He can’t see anything. The sound stopped.

My body shakes slightly. Like an animal that recovers from a shock by shaking it off. As if something has shaken me. Bump into me. The same feeling as earlier today

But Adam glances back, luckily keeping his distance. I don’t want to be close to him. I just want to get on with my program.

I touch the back of my head. It’s still sore. I lean against the wall.

The wind rushes through the hallway. As if it concentrates on me, the wind seems for a brief moment to envelop my body. I sway slightly in its breath. It’s like a little dance. My body moves from side to side. Like something else is pulling my head a little, my hips. From side to side my hips move.

And then I straighten up. I take a deep breath and exhale. Slowly. The soreness in the back of my head is relieved.

- I hope you can still work today. You look pale. Are you feeling unwell?

Adam stands closer to me. With an investigating look and slightly stinging eyes. Can’t he just give me a moment, so I can gather myself?

- I’m fine; I say and head towards the locker room. When I close the door behind me, I give it an extra hard slap. Then he can learn to leave me alone. Even though I know Adam is completely indifferent to that kind of thing. Even though he hears everything, he doesn’t pay any attention to it. Or act on it. At least he doesn’t say anything about it. He’s not the type. He’s the extremely reserved type. I know that. After all, we’ve been working together for a couple of years now. And he’s not exactly the empathetic type either. But I am not the social type either. I smile to myself. I thrive best alone. Then I don’t have to indulge in all that drama between people about all kinds of things and feelings and assumptions about this and that. Which is probably why I have this job. And that’s probably where the similarities between us end. At least I’m not that annoyingly schematic type. I do my job, but I don’t want to be reprimanded or told that things don’t fit perfectly. Because I know they do, if I’ve done them. And I don’t meddle in my colleague’s work. I just do my job.

Mostly. The green assignments I’ve been given in the last few months aren’t always exactly as easy as my other assignments. I go back to the workstation.

- Do you start with the corner route or the green assignments?

Adam barely lets me sit down in front of the screen at my place. I haven’t even had time to get a cup of coffee. I sigh.

-I’ll just have a cup of coffee.

I’ll have that cup of coffee first.

I sniff it, it’s not top quality. But it’s warm. I enjoy the smell of coffee, and then I relax. My head feels lighter.

-I’ll start with the green tasks, I say. But Adam is busy with something on his screen and doesn’t answer me.

I blow on my slightly too long bangs and open the project overview. The program is already running. It’s marked where I need to pay attention.

The green projects must be checked regularly. Outside the buildings, solar panel cells must be checked more often when the snow melts. The sheep that roam around in the summer months must be fed, and their animal keepers must be informed, and we must have vet appointments, renewal of contracts with security guards. The water quality in the surrounding area must be checked and test results to be communicated to the public.

It’s pretty clear that the green projects are intended as a mere facade. No one really cares about those sheep, if it weren’t for the fact that other places have had problems with climate activists’ skepticism about server farms …

‘We have to take responsibility here too.’ Luckily, it was before my time that people had problems with fences and server farms and starving sheep grazing in vain.

Now there are guards and vets and their assistants and zookeepers and drones, cameras and I don’t know what else. But in the winter, the sheep are somewhere else, fortunately, and I don’t have to be their zookeeper. I mean, they’re cute woolly animals and all that. And when the sun was shining and I had the chance to go outside, they were very cute when they stood there chewing on the grass...Shitting the green grass as I walked by.

One of the green projects is marked in red. That means I should investigate it carefully.

‘Make the animals ready for sprong - book a check-up and transport’ it said. I booked an appointment and transport.

What? It’s still red.

I look into at the project. There is a tab that I don’t remember from last year. Didn’t these green projects repeat themselves year after year in exactly the same way? Solar cells, sheep check-ups/transport, vet, water purification, something or other and something more, blah blah blah, the same thing over and over again with very few adjustments...?.

I clicked on the tab. Marked in red.

‘Confidential.’

Why is that?

- I have access.

- What?

Adam looks at me.

- It’s just teasing today. There must have been an update.

‘CHECK YOUR JACKET’ A pop-up message on the screen says.

Adam never sends messages.

-Is anyone else here today?

-No. It’s a public holiday. Only you and I work on those classic holidays, he says.

Okay. I lock the screen and head out to the cloakroom.

- Are you going on a break already?

Of course, he says that the annoying timekeeper.

- No, I just forgot something.

In the cloakroom I rummage through my pocket. There’s a small piece of metal. It’s round and completely smooth. A little greenish. It sticks to the button on my jacket. Magnetic.

I go back to the screen. Fumbling with the round metal thing in my trouser pocket. Where did it come from?

- I’ll take a walk, says Adam

- Fine, fine

I sit down, and without thinking about it, I take the metal gadget out of my pocket. I fiddle with it. Absently. It’s nice but different to hold. No bigger than an old-fashioned ten-krone coin.

I put it on the table. Without thinking about it. I hope Adam has taken one of the long routes. His screen is locked, so I can’t see which route he has marked.

A gust of wind passes through the room. And I turn my head back. Out of the corner of my eye I see the metal gadget move. Without a sound it suddenly sits on the screen. As if it knows what to do.

A glitch from the screen, and it blinks once.

Pop-up message again: ‘OPEN THE RED TAB’

I don’t know why I’m doing it. This is the place where no variations should occur. But I must find out why the tab is red. And where do those messages come from? I click on it.

-THANK YOU

-THANK YOU FOR LETTING ME IN

- What for?

-I NEED YOUR HELP

I don’t know what to say. I just stare at the screen.

The messages are inside the sheep project. But with a different font than usual. And it has turned yellow instead of red.

I look around. Who have I let in? There’s no one to be seen. Have I been hacked? No, this place can’t be hacked. It’s a server farm. It’s the most secure.

-Who’s there? But no one answers. The screen flashes.

-GO TO CORNER Q AND PRESS ONE OF THE LONG ONES

- One of the long ones?

I had started talking out loud. No more thoughts.

-GO ALONE AND DON’T SAY ANYTHING

I looked over my shoulder. The little metal thing comes loose and lays in front of my hand.

I pick it up, put it back in my pocket.

I know it goes against all reason and against all the rules and the regulations. But I do it anyway. You don’t do that on the farm. But somehow, I find myself standing at my desk. Getting ready to move because of the messages.

-OUTSIDE

I try to see if I can answer the messages. But my share of the messages isn’t available. Damn it. I can’t write anything back.

-I can’t go out right now, I say into the room. And I hope Adam doesn’t hear it.

-OUTSIDE

-I can’t. I just came in.

The screen flashes. A hissing sound goes through the room.

Wiiiipwhiiip whiip whiiip

The alarm.

Fuck. What am I supposed to do? I look at the screen. It’s gone from the folder with the green projects, and instead one of the corners is marked, one of my areas. The tight little corners that only I can reach. I open the drawer with my tools and make sure my tools are in my belt.

I talk to Adam.

- Hi Adam. I ’ll go check corner southwest, corner Q. I can’t tell if it’s outside or inside the error is still there. Starting inside.

- Okay. Tell me if you are going outside. His voice crackles over the speaker.

The alarm rarely sounds. But the weather has been cold and windy lately, so that could be why.

I lock the screen. It’s like the gadget in my pocket is tugging at the fabric a little. Like it wants to be in front. I walk southwest. My slim body can easily get into the corner. Then it hits me. Corner Q.

This is corner Q. Like it said on the screen.

I see the red light marking the area on my screen. I turn off the sound. It’s getting on my nerves.

–I haven’t had enough coffee either, I sigh.

In the southwest corner, I can’t see what is wrong. Everything is nice and smooth. No irregularities or anything. The floor is flawless, with no stains or marks. No strange angles or anything unstable. I shine with my stabilizer light. No fluctuations. But the screen in my pocket still says something is wrong.

What was it now? Was I supposed to bring something? I look around. But I can’t see what it was supposed to be. One of the long…

- One of the long blocks?

I say it out loud, but nothing catches my eye.

-Hey Adam, I don’t see anything unusual here. I guess I’ll have to go out.

- Okay. Remember to bring your outerwear, and call if there’s anything you can’t fix. But try to fix it yourself first, okay? I’m going to take a break.

I know what that means. He doesn’t want to be disturbed. And he’s probably spending his break in the bathroom. Where he usually sits for an extremely long time. Not that I care what he’s doing out there. But I have an idea. I’m not trying to pursue it. Not to think of too many images of it. Yikes. Not to go down that path of thought.

‘Outside.’ ‘One of the long ones.’ It said there. I go back to the wardrobe and put on my outerwear.

I zip up my work jacket and find my mittens.

-I miss my hat.

The card beeps, and the door swing open. The cold air bites my cheeks. If the wind blows up, my eyes will water while I’m messing with corner Q.

-Damn north wind

And I understand now why there was a red alert. The hole is hard to miss. One of the short metallic parts is crooked in the foundation and one of the long ones is pushed out of formation. As if something has hit it. I look around. There are traces of something, a dent in the masonry. What has happened here?

The cold wind is picking up.

I should probably call Adam. Send him a photo or something. But something in me doesn’t really want to. He wants to take a break in peace. And I just want to find out this for myself. Who knows if he actually washes his hands when he’s been out to the toilet for a long time? Way too long for a normal person. Addr. Stop. You. Yourself.

I fiddle with it a little more. Remove one of the long blocks. It’s sharp. As I take it out, I grab a substitute from my tool belt. Two of the short ones. Weld them. The flash of light. A gust of wind surprises me. I’m going to cut off too much. Shit.

Now it’s not right. And the alarm will probably go off again. Shit. Well. If I push a little and weld again. The wind is there again.

-Okay, stop now, wind!

I get my hair in my face, in my mouth, hair whips into my eyes.

Practice…Relax. It’s just wind. You live in Svartlandia. It’s windy here.

Suddenly the wind pulls my hair in a different direction. I straighten my back and kick. I take out the tool and straighten my work. There’s wetness on my cheek. I hate making mistakes. And I’m going to cry about it sometimes. But I don’t want the others to know. And certainly not Adam.

And then I feel it, like a light touch across my cheek. Something brushes the tears away in the wind. And then it’s gone again.

The screen still glows red around corner Q.

WHIIP Whiip whiip. It’s fucking starting again.

I turn off the sound. I hate that sound. And I hate making mistakes.

-I’m on it.

Adam doesn’t reply.

I whine. The tears are still running a little. And then it happens again. Something kind of brushes on my cheek. But I can’t see where it comes from. It must just be a gust of wind.

The metal thing in my pocket moves, finds its way up under my jacket. As if it can find its way without anything touching it.

The gentle touch on the cheek. It changes. The metal thing is next to my cheek. In the air. By itself. By it fucking self. It moves without anybody touching it.

What’s happening? Who is it? Or what is it?

- Are you a ghost?

I’ve never thought about ghosts before. And certainly not here at the server farm, where everything is cold and metallic, and we are two employees just walking around checking things off lists.

The metal thing moves up and down in the air. As if it’s some kind of communication.

- ARE you a ghost? Did you write the messages that I should go out here?

If I’m lucky, I might get a response on my little screen. But of course, nothing pops up.

I try to stay calm. This is just too weird. Have we been hacked? Or is someone trying to confuse me on purpose? Is this some kind of test?

What’s really going on? Did I hit my head harder than I thought?

That’s probably it.

The wind is whistling around me.

I ease a bit as my head is clearing up.

The oblong block I pulled out earlier is lying on the ground next to me. Check. The mini welder is still working. I fix it. It can be done. I think.

I concentrate; push the thought of the ghost away. And away with the thoughts of hackers and of tests by the company... I mark the block with a pencil and turn on the mini welder. I get the two blocks put together perfectly. I push them in where they’re missing.

Two of the first attempts are lying in the snow. But the oblong one. Where did I put it?

Inattentive of me. I have to take them back to my desk. It has to be registered… Something in the corner of my eye moves.

-Hello?

But there’s nothing when I move.

-Adam? Is that you?

But I know it’s not. He doesn’t want to be disturbed during his break. He’ll be sure to file it away when he’s out there.

-Hello? Who’s there?

Deep down I know it’s not him. But I’m not prepared for this.

Ghosts or something else.

-Hello? I’ll try again.

Something grabs my hair and pulls me up. Up up up. I’m hanging in the air, above the ground.

-Wuuaar put me down. Put me down.

Something is holding me up. In my hair. It hurts.

-Put me down!

I flail my arms around in the air. But whatever it is that has grabbed me must have extremely long limbs, because I’m above the ground and I’m hitting nothing. As if there’s air. But also resistance. But mostly air.

-Wuuuuaaahhh. Let me down!

But I know there’s no one; no one can hear me!

-Let go! Don’t do this!