Chapter 1
I can’t make it.
It’s Tuesday, but does it really matter what day it is anymore? Every day feels the same—long, stretched out, full of nothing and everything at once. I glance at my phone, face down on the coffee table, and sigh at the buzzing notification. Probably Daniel again, with another last-minute excuse.
It’s fine. I got it.
I drop my head back against the couch and pull the lever on the side, letting the recliner tilt back. The feeling of relief I’m searching for never quite arrives, though. My body’s heavy with the weight of another day. Another day without any real plan, any real direction.
My watch buzzes again. I ignore it. Instead, I glance at the clock—Pepper will be here any minute to drop off the boys. They’ve been at summer camp all day, and the house has been blissfully quiet. She’s a beautiful enough of a human being to pick them up on her way home. In a few minutes, it’ll be iPads, dinner, bath time, and bed.
Another text rolls in, but I don’t look. I can’t bring myself to care about Daniel’s excuses anymore. This is what life is now. Just me, the boys, and the routine of it all.
Tires crunch on the gravel outside. I groan, pushing myself up from the recliner, and head to the door. With a huff, I kick the footrest back into place and drag myself toward the entryway.
The door swings open before I even get there. David rushes in first, backpack half off his shoulder, his face bright with excitement. DJ comes in behind him, always one step behind and grumbling about it.
“Mama!” DJ’s voice is loud and excited. “We did archery at camp today! And guess what? I hit the target!”
“Barely,” David mutters, dragging his backpack across the floor and kicking off his shoes.
I smile at them both, managing a bit of cheer despite myself. “That’s awesome, buddy,” I say, ruffling David’s hair.
I watch them head straight for their iPads, their voices filling the house again. Part of me welcomes the noise, but part of me aches at the constant hum of it all. It’s strange how you can miss your kids all day and then feel like you’ve barely had time to breathe the moment they’re home.
I glance at the half-prepared dinner on the counter—chicken breasts, some veggies that are probably past their prime. I sigh, feeling the weight of the evening press down. I haven’t even really had that busy of a day with the boys gone. I just don’t even want to cook.
“Mom, can we have pizza instead?” DJ asks, glancing at the counter with disinterest.
“Yeah,” I say, reaching for my phone. “Pizza sounds good.”
As I dial the number, my thumb hovers over the Facebook app for a second longer than necessary. That cycling lesson ad is still there in my saved posts. One-on-one bike lessons for all ages. It’s such a simple thing, riding a bike. I used to love it. It’s been years, but I wonder if I could do it again. It might be a good way to shake things up a bit. Do something for myself for once.
Before I can let myself think too much about it, the door swings open again and Pepper walks in, her keys jangling in her hand. She’s still in her work clothes, probably exhausted from a day of wrangling clients and building plans, but she doesn’t look it. Pepper never looks tired. She’s some goddess straight from the olden days, dropped here in my life to show me what single and thriving looks like.
“Hey, girl,” she calls, tossing her keys on the counter. “You surviving?”
I shrug. “Barely. Ordered pizza because, well… I just can’t today.”
She smiles knowingly and sinks into the nearest chair. “Pizza sounds like the right call. How’s everything else?”
I hesitate, glancing back at the boys, who are lost in their screens. “It’s fine,” I say, but even I don’t believe it.
Pepper raises an eyebrow. “Fine? Really? Because you’ve got that look.”
I chuckle, even though it feels hollow. “What look?”
“The ‘I’m pretending everything’s fine but really I want to scream into a pillow’ look. You forget who you’re talking to?”
I sigh, dropping into the chair across from her. “It’s just... I don’t know. Same old stuff, you know? Daniel’s a no-show, again. He was supposed to pick up the boys from camp. I really appreciate you bringing them from the other side of town. I’m just… tired of it all.”
Pepper leans back in her chair, crossing her arms. “No worries. What about you? I mean, the whole summer ahead of you. What’ve you been doing for yourself with the boys at camp this week?”
I think about it for a second, biting my lip. “Not much, honestly. I’ve been thinking about doing something different, though.”
Pepper’s eyes light up. “Oh, yeah? Like what?”
“I saw this ad for cycling lessons this morning,” I admit, feeling a little silly saying it out loud. “It’s been years, but I don’t know. Maybe I should give it a shot.”
Pepper smiles, her face softening. “You should. It sounds like exactly what you need. And it’s summertime, so you’ve got the time on your hands. Class will be back in session before you know it. Do it. This could be something just for you.”
I nod, the thought still lingering in my mind. “Yeah… maybe.”
“Well,” she says, standing up and stretching. “If anyone deserves to do something for themselves, it’s you. Don’t wait for permission. Just do it.”
I smile, grateful for her encouragement, but I still feel that hesitation tugging at me. Could I really just… do something for myself?
The doorbell rings, and DJ shoots up from the couch. “Pizza’s here!”
Pepper laughs as I get up to pay. But even as the boys start arguing over who gets the biggest slice, my thoughts drift back to that Facebook ad. Maybe it’s time to stop waiting for things to change and just make it happen.
❤️ thank you! hope you enjoy