Is this the end?
MARCUS POV
To My HEARTKEEPER,
This day was a day that I would never get out of my mind, we were just seventeen, you didn't know what the world was truly like, you lived each day like the air was made of your favorite ice cream; strawberry flavored and it's the best thing you ever tasted. I didn't see the world the in the same light as you did, I saw it as the cruelest thing, my dark past would haunt me, like a ghost every night. There was always a feeling that lived in my heart. It created it's own space in my mind and my heart just the same. That feeling I can't ignore, the feeling that tells me something bad is going to happen. I remember that feeling was screaming in my mind, heart and it echoed through every bone in my body. I tried to ignore it, I really did but it started to get louder and louder and louder until I couldn't shut it out.
It was January 26, 2015, You wanted to us to go to the movies. I remembered you were so excited; seeing you so happy made my heart skip a thousand beats in less than a second. The sparks you had in your eyes and the look of satisfaction you had when you looked at me you filled my world with colors. Not the one we live in because it's still dark and cold but you; you are my world sweetheart, all of it. I know I wasn't perfect, but you made me want to be perfect for you. I remember praying to God every day, every hour, every minute, every second that I will be the man I am supposed to be; the man that supposed to be made in his image. I prayed that I will be yours and only yours. That we lived happily ever after, and I would be able to give you everything you need.
Life had other plans, that same day, you were wearing a blue dress with gold strip around the waist, your long black curly hair land perfectly on your back. The dress complimented your hazel eyes, the most beautiful sets of eyes I have ever seen. I saw life in them they were dazzling and the sun hit them perfectly. When you asked me how you looked, I didn't even speak, not because I didn't want to, but I physically couldn't. I wanted to tell you how gorgeous and heavenly you looked that you looked breathtaking literally stealing the oxygen out my body, that your eyes were the highlight of my soul and the dress was stunning and fit every curve of your body perfectly, but I couldn't that would be weird. At the time you just saw me as your best friend. When you got upset that I didn't say anything I just said you looked great with an awkward smile.
We arrived at the movie, and the line was very long, and everyone was pushing trying to get in. You held my hands and started running towards the back of the building. You took off your heels and climbed over the wall to enter the building and asking me to give you a boost. I remember smirking to myself and mumbled that you are very rebellious. Anyways I followed behind and climbed over the wall. We were finally in the theatre and when I looked at you, you had the proudest smile on your face and I couldn't help but smile. You noticed and you ask why I was smiling and I dismissed it. I wonder to myself that why does everything you do send my heart soaring through the sky, my stomach swirling with butterflies , my mind overloading and my body in a shock.
When you eat and your mouth is full, I find it cute, when get frustrated, I find it cute, when you are mad at me and you give me that look, I think it's cute. At this point in time I don't think I am in love but rather ..................... I don't think the way of how I am feeling exist or even a word, it's more like I just unlock a new feeling only my heart knows the sound and the beats it makes. I almost told you I enjoyed watching you but good thing my mouth said the movie. We were heading home strolling on the sidewalk when a drunk driver came skidding and hit you. When I saw you lying there it was almost like I was the one that got hit.
I couldn't move; I froze, something came over my body, my blood run cold and shivers went down my spine. I was in pain almost as if someone stabbed me and twist the knife through my heart and lungs cutting me open, I felt like I was having a heart attack and I forgot how to breathe. My heart collapsed and before I passed out, I remember calling an ambulance and all I said was help her, I don't think I am going to make it. I remember waking up in an unfamiliar room I was stringed to many things. But that wasn't the first thing that came to my mind all I could think about is Leona. I was about to rush out of the bed when a doctor stopped me. He told me I can't move because I am still in critical conditions. But I didn't care, but when I tried to get up, I went in shock. I was sent to the emergency room, and they tried everything they could to save me. Eventually they did but I was sent into a coma.
I remember thinking fighting in that coma telling myself to get up it was time to see you, but I couldn't move I felt helpless, useless even. I asked God why you; I was so angry I couldn't even think properly I was stuck in my body, and my mind was getting louder by the minute. My heart rate went up so high they had to sedate me because once I am conscious my body betrays me. You turned my mind into your personal art gallery made up of every essence of you, all I could think of is you, Leona, I couldn't think of anything else or anyone else. I blamed myself for not protecting you. I thought to myself I rather die than go through the pain I am experiencing but I choose to hold on so I could see if you are ok. I am willing to die for you and I am also willing to live just for you even if the pain is unbearable. Even though it was a small chance that you were alive I believed with all my heart you were still there because even though everywhere was dark and I couldn't see I could feel you radiate in the air around me and I could feel your presence lingering not only in my mind but my heart. This felt like my personal hell where I am tortured day by day. I can't help but think is this the end?
