CHAPTER 1
Jordan’s fingers gripped the pillow. He buried his face in Dahlia’s soft neck as his body shook. His wife shivered, too, her back arched, pressing her breasts against his chest. His lips sought hers in the dark, and he found it. She opened her mouth to him, moaning softly. Her fingers dragged to his shoulders. Her long nails dug into his skin, as she pulled away to catch her breath. He held himself on his elbow, to stop from crushing her under his weight, and when he was strong enough, he grunted as he turned to lie on his back. He pulled the sheet above his waist and splayed his hand out beside him.
The spring rain still showered on outside: rain drops pattered on the large windows and drummed against the roof, lightening bathing the room occasionally in magnificent light when lightning splashed across the sky.
Jordan watched the ceiling brighten with every flash of lightning as his body almost began surrendering to the calm. Faux calm, that is. The cool breeze dried the sweat on his skin. He laid still until Dahlia finally sat up, freeing his left hand from beneath her shoulders. She gathered the top sheets over her chest and hunched over to rest her elbow on her knee. He gazed at her back, admiring the stretching of her spine and the expanse of her delicate shoulders. Dahlia put effort into her body. He couldn’t even count the amount of creams and powders that sat on her obnoxiously large dressing table. Her skin felt like silk. He was tempted, for a second, to reach out and touch it again. Not in the heat of passion, but as a lover would, tracing her body with tenderness. Maybe press a kiss right in the middle of her spinal groove and drag her back into his arms, so she could lie on his chest; or he on hers.
She sat for a while, the sound of her breathing mixing with his. Then, without a word, she unceremoniously scooted out of the bed and padded barefoot into the bathroom. The sound of the lock engaging, echoed in the room. The shower came on next, and Jordan sighed.
It was time to go.
He picked up his pajamas from the floor and dressed. He walked out of her room and strolled the dark hallway into his room. His lamp was still on, and the book he had been reading rested on the pillow. He tucked the book aside and looked around before sitting at the edge of the bed. In contrast to his wife’s room, his room was devoid of flowers, large photographs and ornaments. There was only his bed, small framed pictures, and a painting he received as a gift. It wasn’t that he liked it that way, he just didn’t have the strength to make it any different.
It was why whenever they slept together, Dahlia preferred they used her room. She called his “setup” depressing at one point and all but swore off spending any more than two minutes in his room. She never offered to change it, she never asked why he didn’t even though he had mentioned wanting to in the past. She never cared about any of it. And, truthfully, he didn’t know if he wanted her to care.
Things had been calm for the past two days, they hadn’t fought or stepped on each other’s toes as they usually did. It was even more surprising when she came to his door at two in the morning wanting sex.
It had been a month, maybe two since she initiated anything between them. It was always him going for it, but she had come to him and in the lure of their peaceful two days, he caved and started thinking of the impossible.
The frustrations returned when he sat in the darkness, with nothing for company but his thoughts. He rested his chin on his knuckles and sat watching the night fade to morning.
In the morning, he dressed for work, leaving his room, plastering a smile on his face as he jogged down the stairs. One gremlin came running as soon as she heard him on the stairs and barreled into his leg. Before he could pick his daughter up, his son ran up to him, too.
“Ah!” He grunted as he threw his little girl into his arms.
“Daddy, daddy. I finished my homework before Tim.” Tania bellowed as she waved a book in his face.
He laughed, leaning away to prevent the pages from hitting him. “Did you? Let’s see.”
“I did mine too, Dad.”
“Well, come along.” He held the twins by the hand and led them to the dining room. “Show Daddy what you did.”
She explained her assignment to him, and her brother shouted his input when he wanted to show off. Jordan praised them, checked over their outfits and helped them arrange their bag for the morning.
“Oh, Mr Caddel.”
He stood as the housekeeper marched to him. With a shake of her head, and pursed lips, she adjusted his tie and smoothened his suit out.
“Are you joining us for breakfast?”
“Yes. I’ll take the kids to their play date, and then head to work. What are we having?”
“Scrambled eggs.”
“Alright kids, let’s sit. Come on, come on.”
They rushed into the dining hall, dragging their chairs by themselves. They climbed up to the tall chairs and sat in front of their plates.
“Mrs Bodeman.” His wife’s cool voice came from the stairs, and everyone turned. “Breakfast.”
The older woman bowed, her eyes darting to Jordan before she rushed to the kitchen. She pulled her chair and sat, spreading her napkin over her lap and telling the kids to do the same. Mrs Bodeman served the food, and the kids ate, their heads bowed to their plates as they chewed.
“Tim. Sit straight.”
His son complied and Jordan sighed. “Let the kid be comfortable.”
“Nothing uncomfortable about good posture. We can’t spoil them into bad habits.” She looked at Mrs Bodeman. “Get Tania’s flowered headband and her pink booties.”
“Ma’am?”
“Now, please. It’s almost time for her to go, and she isn’t dressed properly.”
“But, Mom, I like my...”
“Tania, no talking back. You know how we dress at the house of friends and family. Yes?”
His daughter nodded meekly, and Jordan shook his head before gesturing for Mrs Bodeman to do as requested. While she was gone, Jordan distracted his children with talks about his latest homes. He described the large pools for them and the stables he was currently working on renovating.
“Can we ride a horse daddy?”
“Sure you can, sweetie. We’ll find one your size.”
“I want to ride too, daddy.”
“When it’s ready.”
“As long as they don’t get in a mess,” Dahlia murmured, taking a sip of her coffee. “They shouldn’t be riding like rugrats anyway. Someone should be walking the horse for them.”
Mrs Bodeman returned with the headband and shoes and helped Tania change into them. Not wanting to argue in front of his pouting kids, he smiled and encouraged them to eat until they were satisfied, ignoring the rest of Dahlia’s comments. When their plates were cleared, he ushered them into the car and blazed out of the house.
Jordan returned in the afternoon, unsurprised to hear the shrill screams from his wife’s room. The woman had a set of lungs on her, and she was always putting them to good use. He often wondered how she didn’t go deaf or talk her throat raw. He was already turning to his office when he saw Mrs Bodeman, carrying his children’s bags inside the house.
“Oh, you are back, sir. Good afternoon.”
“Where are the kids?”
“In the garden, sir. I was about to take a tray out to them when you...”
“What’s she on about?” He inclined his head towards the noise.
“She fired Miss Jane.”
“What!”
Mrs Bodeman’s eyes were downcast. Jane was his children’s latest babysitter. She had loved the girl. The young woman wasn’t only good with the children but took the time to keep Mrs Bodeman company in the kitchen and on runs to the market. Out of the plethora of nannies they had gotten for their kids, Jane had been the most outstanding.
“The kids were...”
He was already rushing out of the house to the garden to find his children. Mrs Bodeman wasn’t too far behind. Tania and Tim played on the table. The proper way. The way his wife would want. Tania played with her dolls while Tim coloured on the pages of his action comic. They both looked up when they heard him approach and were immediately on their feet, running to him.
“Oh, my angels.” He huffed when their little bodies slammed against his
legs.
“Mommy’s mad.”
“She scream at Jane.”
“Screamed, sweetie.” He corrected with a teasing smile but his little girl was undeterred.
“She scolded Tim and me.”
“We didn’t mean it.”
“Miss Jane left, daddy.”
“Can you bring her back?”
“We’ll behave better.”
“I hate her.”
“Hey.” Jordan softly drew the line, and the kids fell silent.
It wasn’t the first time any of them said such a thing, and he was at a loss for what to do about it. Dahlia didn’t make it easy for their kids to love her. She didn’t care to. She was their mother, and that was all that mattered to her. “They would thank her when they were older,” she’d always say.
“I am going to talk to her, okay?” He kissed their cheeks and, suddenly, tickled their tummies until their grimace turned to smiles. “There they are. My angels.”
They squealed when he caught them by the waist and hitched them up against his side. He spun them around, laughing as they laughed. Jordan caught them up on his day at the farm and promised to take them out for ice cream after he had spoken to their mother. The kids giddily agreed. He set them back down on their seats and pulled Mrs Bodeman away.
“What happened?”
“We thought the missus would be gone all day. You know, until the evening. So, when the kids asked Jane to allow them outside to play around, she saw no reason not to. It was the first time she ever did so, sir. I swear. They were playing by the pond.”
“And that’s when Dahlia returned.”
“Yes, and it was awful, sir. The poor things. They were climbing the tree. Not the tall ones.” she pointed to a short tree close to the shrubs near the house. “Madam saw it, and she went mad.”
“Did she do anything to the children?”
“She didn’t beat them. She screamed at them. Practically dragged them back into the house while she did it. The poor things were hollering, but she wouldn’t let me step in. Had Jane not spoken up for me, she might have fired me as well.”
“Damned woman.” He cursed under his breath and marched back into the house.
Dahlia was still yelling. Jordan was sure Jane didn’t sneak back in, so who in the world was his wife talking to? It didn’t matter, he thought, taking the stairs two at a time. He heard her curse at the person, followed by shattering glass, before he threw the door open.
“What is it now?”
Dahlia turned from the shattered mirror, her face masking into calm when she saw him. Her hair was already different from when he had seen her in the morning. She must have gotten a haircut at the salon before coming home. She looked him over, then rolled her eyes, throwing the train of her gown back as she skirted the stool to sit.
“What do you want? Shouldn’t you be in the office?”
“Why did you fire Jane?”
“Harpy.” She scoffed, dropping her brush hard on the table. “I told her to take care of the kids, and she had them climbing trees and playing in the grass. She thought too highly of her worth in this house.”
“They are children.”
“And?”
“That’s what they do? They play around. It’s the point of a backyard.”
“Not our kids. Her job is to take care of them, how I like. They don’t get messy or rough.”
“They. Are. Kids.”
“My kids,” She looked back at him and picked the brush again to smear some more powder on her cheeks. “They are my kids, and she always has to do what I say. I warned her on the first day. No roughhousing, no playing in a mess. They can play without getting their shoes and face dirty.”
He shook his head, looking at the glass shards on the floor. “I am not even going to argue with you.”
“Don’t even dare think of hiring her again.” She cooly warned as she dragged her lips stick over her lips.
“Are you going to stop me?”
“Yes. I fired her, and that’s the end of it. We’ll find someone else.”
“The kids love her.”
“The kids could manipulate her, that much is obvious. I would get someone better suited. Someone more strict, less bendable, older.”
“Less likely to treat our kids with love, you mean.”
“Whatever. I don’t want her back in this house.”
“Right.”
He left the room, but she was on his heels before he could turn to the stairs. Her dress dragged across the polished wood, and her heels expressed the anger her face didn’t show as she marched after him.
“Listen to me well, Jordan Caddel, that woman is not coming back into this house.”
“Just stop talking. Please.”
“Jordan.” Her voice was beginning to pack some heat.
“I am not listening to you on this. You’ve done enough to scare the kids.” He spun and she bumped into him, stumbling back in shock. “I mean how can you treat them like that, screaming and yelling on something as simple as dirtying shoes. For God sake Dahlia.”
“Is that what your childhood comprised of? Making messes and soaking satin dresses in pond water.”
“It was comprised of me being a kid. As long as I wasn’t hurting anyone, it didn’t matter what I did.”
“Well, your parents were your parents and I am theirs.”
“So am I, and I am doing what makes those kids happy.”
“As long as it’s not getting that hag back here.”
“Watch me.”
He didn’t get far before her cold question punched through the air. “Is it really the kids, or is it you?”
“What?” He turned incredulously.
“I’ve seen you two talking. She is young, starry-eyed, and beautiful. Beauty was the whole reason you married me in the first place. Maybe I am too old for you now so you are eyeing some younger options. She is much easier for you, too. Right? Maybe you are having an affair?”
“Now, I am sure you have lost your mind.”
“Answer me. Is that why you want her back? Are you lovers?”
If he had sensed even some jealousy he might have answered differently. He wasn’t a cheater. Despite her rancid nature, stepping out never occurred to him. But there was no jealousy in her eyes. She just looked bored. She didn’t care if he was having an affair. She only said those things to get him to react with guilt.
He had no guilt to feel. So he laughed, right at her face.
“I am not going to entertain your delusions.”
She rolled her eyes. He grabbed his keys to leave, and she grabbed his arm before he could get by her.
“I don’t want her in this house. If you try to undermine me, I swear, I’ll take the kids and leave. I would take them far from here, somewhere you’d never see them again.”
He looked at her hateful eyes and wondered why he had married her. He’d ignored all the signs to have her because she fascinated him. She consumed his every thought. Her beauty blinded him so much that he never even considered the kind of person he was making the mother of his kids.
“I am going out.” He said. “I need to leave before I do something crazy, like strangle you. I have warned you to stop using the kids against me, but you don’t want to listen.”
“I mean it, Jordan.”
“Get out of my way.”
He brushed past her and slammed the door in his wake. She couldn’t win every battle, he fumed. It was only because of the kids that he had never asked her for a divorce. He knew she would make it into a case that would only serve to hurt their children as long as it meant she could hurt him, too. She hated him, and while he never believed he could hate a person, Jordan was starting to think he was getting there. He wanted her out of his life.
“Come on, kids.” He called the children, plastering a smile on his face. “Let’s go get some ice cream.”
They cheered and ran past him, Tim asked for the keys to help start the car, but Jordan lovingly declined. He also gave Mrs Bodeman errands to run so she wasn’t in the house to be a target for Daliah’s madness. Jane may have saved the older woman from getting fired, but only God knew how quickly his wife could change her mind.
He left with the kids to the park and only returned after they got into higher spirits. He did what he always did. He apologised for their mother’s behaviour and softly explained that she wasn’t always making the best decisions, but she meant it to be well for them. He didn’t believe it but didn’t want his children to think their mother hated them. It was a painful thing to think as a child.
When they were blitzed with joy, he drove them back home, listening to their stories about the good part of the day. He planned to have them stay in their room because there was no doubt he would be arguing with their mother again, and he didn’t want to ruin their mood.
But, as luck would have it when he arrived at the house, her car was gone. Mrs Bodeman, who had returned a while before, confirmed that his wife was gone when she returned from the market.
“Maybe she went to her friends.”
“Thank God.” He muttered so his kids couldn’t hear.
“Daddy, can we go play?”
He looked up towards Dahlia’s room. He didn’t care for her temper, but he hated when she turned it on their kids. He was, however, done with letting her get away with it only because of her threats to take their children away. His children deserved better.
“Yeah. Go play.”
Mrs Bodeman shook her head reluctantly, her eyes wide with warning, but she followed after the kids. Jordan left for his office and locked the door behind him. He felt under his desk for the key to his drawer and unlocked it. The divorce papers stared back at him when he pulled the drawer open, but he didn’t pick them up.
He had gotten the papers two weeks ago, but doubt after doubt had them sitting in his office. He thought about his kids, his family, his relationship with Dahlia. Their relationship had soured months after they were married, but it was the first time in years he considered divorce seriously enough to get the papers printed. His biggest excuse was how hard she’d make the process for their kids, but it had to be a price cheaper than staying married to her. He would do his best to protect his kids, but they deserved a better home than what they had.
His kids deserved a mother than knew the difference between discipline and abuse. They deserved a mother who was interested in their whimsical stories, and fantastical dreams. And if he couldn’t give them that, then he could provide them with a home that was devoid of Dahlia’s toxicity.
The land-line rang, and he sighed, pushing the drawer shut and locking it before picking up the receiver.
“Hello?”
“Good afternoon. Is this Mr Jordan Caddel?”
“Yes. Who is this?”
“My name is Beatrice Dean from Grace Memorial Hospital. I am very sorry to inform you that your wife, Mrs Dahlia Caddel, was involved in an accident earlier this afternoon.”
