Pinned By You

“WHKX Hawkins Radio here with your Thursday forecast, and folks… It’s a scorcher. We’re talking triple digits by noon and roads hot enough to fry an egg. If you’re planning to be outside today, maybe don’t. And if you’re driving, crank up that AC.”

I reached over and shut off the radio, sinking back into my seat. The windows were cranked all the way down because, unfortunately, my brother’s car sucks. The hot wind blasted through the interior, blowing my hair around in my face. It was a constant, losing battle of trying to tame it enough so it wouldn’t get fuzzy. I propped my feet up on the dashboard, letting the warm breeze hit my face.

Steve immediately slapped my feet down, making them flop hard onto the floorboard. “How many times do I have to tell you not to do that?” His gaze flicked between me and the road. It was so easy to ruffle his feathers.

“Not enough.” I smiled. I blew a bubble of gum until it popped loudly, then shifted in my seat to get comfortable again. Our relationship was best described as Shrek and Donkey and rage-baiting each other. On the good days at least.

Steve sighed, his knuckles turning white on the steering wheel. He had this obsession with keeping his car in its “ original vintage condition,” even though half the time it broke down or the AC died. He could at least get something made in the last decade. But no. He was stubborn and we were stuck with this- his car.

“What time are you done today?” He asked. He reached forward, pressing the car’s cigarette lighter into the center console, and started digging around the little cubby for his pack. Seeing him smoke was a rare occasion, and normally it meant a lot of things, and none of them were usually good.

I shrugged, my eyes flickering back to him. He looked like he’d aged a few years recently. He had dark circles under his eyes, deep creases on his forehead, and a few old, faded scars. “I don’t know. Late, maybe? Why?”

“Because I’m not waiting on you again, and I’m not driving up here twice.” He placed the end of the cigarette in the corner of his mouth. Just then, the dashboard lighter popped out with a soft metallic click, its coiled face glowing a molten red around the edges. He plucked it from the dash and held it to the end of his cigarette, inhaling deeply as the tobacco caught and burned into a bright ember.

At least there was one practical thing about this old thing; you never had to worry about losing a lighter.

My jaw clenched, but I nodded. There was no point in arguing with him right now. “Right. I’ll try to get out at a decent hour. But Coach keeps us late.”

Steve exhaled sharply, his eyes fixing forward on the road. A heavy silence settled. He is going to be a delight to be around.

“What’s got you all prissy? Is it Dad?”

His jaw tightened before he shook his head. “Don’t worry about it, okay? Just… got a lot on my mind.”

Translation? Yes, It was most likely our dad and I got to deal with his bitchiness. Yay.

I reached into the glove compartment, flipping it open and digging through the pile of CDs. If we were going to sit in silence, the least we could do was play music.

“Why do you insist on keeping CDs? I told you they make those plug‑in screens with Bluetooth now. Come back to the future.” I popped a random disc into the slot from his selection. At least he actually had CDs from good bands.

“Because the CD player works perfectly fine. It’s reliable.” He muttered, tapping the dashboard with two fingers.

I let out a dry laugh. “Reliable my ass.”

—

I’ve been in gymnastics since I was four. I spent most of my time either at practice or in my parents’ home gym. I didn’t like it at first, but my parents insisted. Said it was to teach me discipline- and it did. But in reality, it was in our interest that the Harrington's name look good in the public eye.

Over time I grew to love it. It was one of the few places I could go and be free, and breathe. It was my escape. I had my own identity here. It provided structure, focus and family. That’s where I had met Robin.

My parents are strict, image-focused, and emotionally absent. They are assholes, plain and simple. They treat their affection like a prize, which often led to my brother and me competing against each other. It was a constant, exhausting race to see who could bring home the first of anything.

They doted on Steve constantly, and honestly, I didn’t blame them. He was charismatic, social, and charming—the ultimate golden boy. I was the exact opposite, preferring to keep to myself or hang out with my own friends. My parents absolutely hated it when I came out as trans; they called it a stain on the family name. So, I busted my ass. Because, at the end of the day, I was still just a naive kid who desperately wanted his parents’ approval.

As much as I hated to admit, I did get jealous of Steve a lot of the time. I was always compared to him and constantly told that I should be more like him. Why can’t you be more like Steve? Why can’t you be more popular? Why can’t you do better? God forbid one of us slips up.

A lot of things shifted after Steve graduated. When he didn’t get into college, his confidence crumbeled. Things got worse at home. I supported him and had his back. But his failure meant my parents’ attention shifted onto me. It made me uncomfortable.

Steve got back to wrestling over the last couple of years and currently he’s also on the way to the pros. I’m at the top in my state for my age range for gymnastics. So this summer, everything was on the line.

We pulled into the parking lot, I grabbed my gym bag and slammed the car door shut, immediately shielding my eyes against the blinding white sun. Steve groaned, shooting a sharp glare over the roof of the car.

“Watch the door, Julian! Keep it up and you’re walking.”

I rolled my eyes, a small smirk tugging on my lips. “The car is fine, Steve. It’s seen worse.” I slung my bag over my shoulder and headed for the gym, the pavement radiating heat through the soles of my shoes.

“No later than ten!” Steve called out, his voice firm as he trailed behind. “I mean it. Don’t make me wait.”I waved a dismissive hand over my shoulder, already picking up the pace. “Yeah, yeah, yeah.”

The athletic center was a massive, echoing concrete box. The left side was dominated by wrestling and my side was dedicated to gymnastics. Today was a madhouse; the kids’ classes were overlapping with the seniors. Today was definitely gonna be chaotic.

I ducked toward the back, heading for the locker rooms to change. Just as I reached for the handle, a sudden tap on my shoulder made me tense. My jaw ticked. I turned around slowly, coming face to face with my brother’s girlfriend. Nancy.I exhaled, forced a tight smile, and adjusted my bag. “Hey, Nance. What’s up?”

“Could you give me a ride home today?” Nancy asked, smiling awkwardly as she waited for an answer. How the hell does she always have the worst timing, ever.

Nancy was stuck up, and a prude. She was- is my brother’s on again, off again girlfriend. She’s the literal term for playing professional victim, At most, I’d say at most we were civil for my brothers sake.

I sighed and nodded towards my brother’s direction. “Uh- you mean Steve?” I arched my brow, leaning against the doorway.

Nancy rolled her eyes. She had her own car, and for the life of me, I don’t know why she even wanted to ride in my brother’s piece of shit car. It was hell on wheels.

“Just.. message him,” I said, offering a fake smile as I pushed open to the locker room doors.

“Thank you!” She sang, already heading in the opposite direction.

I rubbed my temple and headed straight towards a changing stall. I quickly pulled on my leotard, hung my bag on the hook, and grabbed my wrist guards. District competition was only a few weeks away, and I’d been practicing my ass off. I rubbed my hands together, tracing over the rough edges of my calluses. I was confident- well, confident enough to know that my team and I actually had a shot this year.

As I wrapped my wrists, a hand suddenly sneaked around my shoulder. “Hello, my equally anti-social friend.”

I tensed for a split second before relaxing, shooting a glare into the mirror as I pulled my hair up into a tight, secure bun, smoothing out the baby hairs. “I hate when you do that. And I’m not anti-social, I’m picky.”

Robin smiled and shrugged. “You know you love me, and you have a social life the size of a walnut.”

“My social life is questionable at best, sure.” I mocked, and jabbed her side. “But why have fake friends when I have you?”

Robin dropped onto the bench next to me, reached in her bag and grabbed out tape to wrap her wrist with. She was the typical hipster, grungy person you’d find in your local high school. She was easily the loudest, clumsiest, ADHD ridden person you’d ever meet. But we were inseparable.

“So, what made you late this time? Vickie?” I asked. Robin scoffed, shooting me a mock glare. I sat down next to her, pulling my foot up to start wrapping my ankles.

“No, not this time. I was just.. a little stressed out? We have a lot to do still and-”Robin started to spiral, so I quickly set my hand on her knee and gave a soft squeeze. “Rob- It’s okay. You’ll be fine. You’ve been working hard. We all have.”

Robin nodded, taking a shaky breath. I rubbed her back soothingly. “We’re gonna kick ass, okay?” I offered her a small smile. I knew she’d be amazing. We’ve trained, practiced and perfected our routine together for weeks.

I tilted my head back as the overhead vents rattled and kicked on, basking in the cool draft. One of the perks of this place was that the air conditioning was top tier. I was so grateful for that.

“So how is our Stevey today? Does he have a stick up his ass?” She cracked a smile. Her voice, calling me back. I rolled my shoulders and shrugged. “What do you think?”

Recently he had sprained his knee and he was out for a few weeks, and that caused a lot of arguments. Our parents were breathing down his throat constantly. He tried to hide the fact that it affects him, he does a horrible job at it.

Robin gave a weary smile. “Bad day?” She asked, stuffing her bag under the bench.

“You could say that, yeah.” I stood up and stretched, pulling one arm behind my head and then the other, feeling my muscles loosen. “I’ll meet you out there.”

I stepped out of the locker room, leaving behind the silence into the roar of the gym. I headed straight for the chalk bowl, digging my hands into the white powder, making sure everything was coated. Slipping off the bars was not an option today.

A familiar voice cut through the noise, followed by a group of high pitched giggles. Curiosity got the better of me, and I glanced over. Nancy and her little group of friends were standing nearby, sipping water. Nancy caught my eye and started walking over.

Fuck sake. Okay, Just smile and nod till she walks away.

I crossed my arms, plastering a fake smile on my face as they approached.

“You look good, Julian,” Nancy said as she came closer. Her friends trailed behind her, their own smiles looking like they’d been painted on. Any more makeup they’d look like a souped up Barbie doll.

She was your typical ‘all American’ girl, perfect figure, hair and a pretty face. But as far as I was concerned, that was where it ended. I honestly didn’t get why my brother was so hung up on her. It wasn’t like she was some innocent angel, either; I’d seen the way she played into the attention of my brother then to turn around and do the same to Johnathan.

“Right back at ya.” I replied, my voice dry. I rubbed my hands together, letting the excess chalk dust cloud between us, and brushed past her toward the mats before she could get another word out.

Asshole move? Probably. But I didn’t have the patience to deal with her today.

Robin had stepped up beside me, her eyes darting between Nancy’s retreating group and my face. “What was that all about?” She asked, dusting the chalk off of her leotard.

I shook my head and smirked. “Nothing interesting. Just Barbie and her friends.” We started walking toward the larger floor mats, the springs underneath the vinyl creaking with every step. “Ready to be beaten?”

She rolled her eyes, moving to the side of the mat. “As fucking if.” She countered. I flicked her off, smiling.

As I stepped onto the mat, I felt the pull of my muscles as I went through a final set of stretches. The gym was a chaotic mess of kids’ screams and coaches’ whistles.

Inhale.

I centered myself, and lifted my arms above my head. Everything else disappeared, and I was exactly where I was supposed to be…

Exhale.