It’s Just a Little Crush

Sat in the mostly empty lecture theatre waiting for it to start, I was lost in my thoughts. I hoped that I wouldn’t bump into him, just as the thought popped into my head, I noticed him walking over and I sighed with frustration. He had a ridiculous smirk plastered across his face and I knew it was meant just for me. Why did I have to open my big mouth? Why?

I knew I was likely in for it, given that he headed straight for me. The look in his eyes told me what I already knew. My big mouth had gotten me into trouble, just like it always did. Being wound up for the rest of the day was most definitely on the cards. I groaned internally, berating myself over my inability to think before speaking. He finally made it over to me, moved behind my chair and placed his hands on my shoulders.

Why I’d chosen then to make an effort with my appearance, I didn’t know. I’d thought it was a good idea initially, when I’d chosen to wear my red, off the shoulder bodysuit teamed with my favourite pair of high waisted, skinny jeans. I’d gone with with my black lace up boots shoe-wise, because who can actually walk in heels? Elegant, graceful beings, that’s who. I was not one of those beings, I was just plain clumsy. I’d worn my long, chestnut hair in loose waves around my shoulders and my winged eyeliner was on point (just how my best friend Nina taught me). I actually did know why I’d made an effort though and the answer was him. My best friend Nina had given me a last minute heads up that Spencer Russo was on the very same writing course I was. I wouldn’t mind but, I’d booked it to get away from everything and everyone I knew. You’d have thought I’d be safe at the other end of the country…

There was a small part of me that really wanted him to notice me, the part that had found him ridiculously attractive for as long as I’d known him. I was sort of regretting my choices in that moment, given that I did actually have all of his undivided attention. That part of me that wanted him though? She was thrilled.

The second he’d put his hands on me, my body reacted. A shiver ran through me, giving me away. Spencer knew the effect he was having on me (thanks to me and my big mouth) but that just seemed to encourage him. He started to rub my shoulders, causing goosebumps to form. He smirked again, clearly satisfied that his touch could actually have such an effect on me. No one else in the room seemed to have noticed the way my body reacted to him. Spencer however, seemed acutely aware.

“Try not to worry, Marrin.” He declared in that smug, posh accent of his. Why he could never use my first name, I didn’t know. It wasn’t that hard. It was four bloody letters. Nova. Ugh. He was so annoying but he knew he would get away with it, given how it had been his favourite pastime back in the day. He didn’t need to perform for the crowd either, but he was going to, just like he always had.

“I’ll keep you company for the next hour and a half” he dipped his head a little lower and added “You know you’ll love it." He continued to rub my shoulders as he spoke. I was so very aware of how good he made my body feel and it mostly annoyed me, I didn’t want to feel that way.

The few others who had seated themselves nearby smiled at him, likely thinking that he was sweet. He bloody wasn’t. He was trying to wind me up, as per usual. If only they knew him like I did. I did catch a few appreciative stares from some of the other women on the writing course, too. I couldn’t blame them though. He was objectively gorgeous, even if he was a complete pain in the arse.

“How wonderful…” I responded, my tone heavy with sarcasm. He didn’t seem bothered by my tone though, with that almost permanent smirk on his face. Instead, he seemed intent on winding me up for the duration of our lecture. I decided to ignore his little remark about me loving it. He did not need to know that he was right, his ego was big enough.

“I can hardly wait, Russo. Can you please sit your arse down?” I hissed at him, still attempting to be as sarcastic as I could.

“You mean my “fine arse” eh, Marrin? Isn’t that what you said yesterday?” He grinned at me, while I looked completely taken aback. He would use my own bloody words against me.

“That was what Ray- you know what, never mind! For the love of all that is good, Russo, please can you just sit down?” I pinched the bridge of my nose in frustration. I’d forgotten just how much he loved pissing me off. “I’m quite sure that our lecturer who will be arriving any moment, by the way, will probably not be a fan of you giving out shoulder massages in the middle of his lecture.” I glanced across the room at the group of women who were giggling and looking at him. “Not to mention, your adoring fan club probably won’t be impressed either.” I nodded my head to my right, where the women who had been appreciatively staring at him were sat and it was my turn to feel smug. The moment however, was fleeting. He bent down, his head next to mine again. He spoke softly so only I could hear him, his breath on my cheek causing those sodding goosebumps again.

“I don’t really give a fuck what they think, I’m keeping my hands on you Marrin, one way or another. Judging by the way your body is reacting to me, you like it too…” he trailed off. God, he was so fucking sure of himself. Still, I stiffened at his words, feeling myself blushing as my mind wandered. Daydreaming about Russo sliding his hands a bit further down and under my bodysuit whilst he was actually touching me was not a good idea. Nope, going there was a very bad idea. I just needed to get through an hour and a half of him being a big headed arsehole.

I swear, it was like he could read my mind, that knowing smirk on his face. He started moving his hands a little further down each time he rubbed my shoulders and I felt my breath quicken. The worst thing was that I couldn’t even hide it, given that my chest was one of the first things people tended to notice about me. Russo definitely noticed. Pleased that he’d got yet another reaction out of me, he seemed to decide I’d had enough torture when he finally took his hands off me. I breathed a sigh of relief.

Spencer grabbed the chair next to me and made a big show of moving it closer to mine. His adoring fan club in the far corner of the seminar room were either giggling or glaring. The vast majority of the women were enjoying the show, but one of them was glaring daggers at me. She was clearly not enjoying me being on the receiving end of Spencer’s undivided attention but, quite frankly, she could have had it if she wanted it that much.

I decided to ignore them and rolled my eyes at him. Internally berating myself again for not thinking before I speak. What on earth possessed me when I’d stupidly admitted to him that I’d been crushing on him when we were working together, I didn’t know. Sometimes, my mouth had a mind of it’s own and spoke before my brain could catch up. I was just glad I didn’t admit how bad it actually was or he’d have been even worse.

The course we were on was being hosted at Falmouth and Exeter University, with our accommodation nearby. It was this beautiful manor house that looked like something you’d see one of the Downton Abbey characters comfortably spending their summer. My room was absolutely amazing. There was a massive, wooden four poster bed, a huge bathroom with a walk-in shower and an old fashioned, claw foot bathtub which I tried out almost immediately. I didn’t actually want to leave the room when I first checked in. It was heaven.

Spencer and I had bumped into each other when I’d grabbed myself a coffee at the hotel between activities the day before and I’d been doing a little work on my story. Despite my best friend Nina letting me know that Spencer would to be there, I was still kind of shocked to see him. It had been so long since we’d last seen each other and we hadn’t exactly parted on good terms. I was surprised he’d even spoken to me, to be honest. Given how hard he’d ghosted me, you’d have thought necromancy would be the only way to bring that friendship back to life.

He’d sat down with me as soon as he spotted me, a huge grin on his face and he caught me completely off guard. He had the audacity to act like he hadn’t completely ghosted me. There he was, back to life and seemingly full of it. Full of himself, at least. He’d always known how to drive me insane.

Despite me being very aware of how things had gone between us, I gave him the benefit of the doubt. We’d chatted about the company we both worked for back home in Manchester and our old colleagues, particularly my best friend Nina. We’d all met there, working in the same department. Nina and Spencer had become good friends once I left.

We chatted about how relieved we were to leave or escape as we’d described it. I wasn’t quite sure how we’d gotten on to the topic but, we’d been talking about how Spencer ends up with a fan club wherever he goes. He laughed, not quite convinced. I’d sworn that it was true, that our friend Rayna and I had regularly giggled together about our huge crushes on him and how good he looked in his jeans, regularly checking out his ‘fine arse’ as she’d called it. He obviously missed the part where I’d pointed out that Rayna had said that, not me.

It really was yet another of my ‘speak first, engage brain later’ moments. I really needed to work on that. He’d seemed a little taken aback at first but that was quickly replaced by the most smug expression I think I’d ever seen him wear. I knew then that I’d made a mistake, a mistake that I knew he was going to remind me about, constantly.

Back in the lecture theatre, I was very abruptly brought back to reality when I realised just how close Spencer had brought his chair to mine. His side continuously brushing mine as he made himself comfortable. Our knees were practically touching under the table too and they soon would be if he carried on with his incredibly annoying habit of manspreading. He’d always done that whenever I’d sat with him at work, I was forever wheeling him over to his side of the desk.

What did he even need all that room for anyway? I mean, I could think of one thing… Nope. Definitely didn’t need my thoughts going there when we were in a crowded lecture theatre with him completely taking over the space we both occupied. He needed to stop touching me, it was driving me insane. I didn’t need to blush again or let him know that he was getting to me.

Despite being as aware as I was of Spencer’s knees touching mine, I decided that my plan of not letting him know he was making me feel things was the best bet. I could stick to that plan, it was easy.

I was so grateful of the distraction that our lecturer provided when he entered. He was a sweet, older gentleman and you could tell he was enthusiastic about sharing his wisdom, given how much information he’d actually given us throughout the day. My brand new notebook was already half full and colour coded, of course.

I knew I needed to concentrate on the lecture, take it all in. It’s what I was there for, after all. I was there to work on my story, work on myself. I knew that, I did. I just wasn’t prepared for Russo to be so distracting. I risked a glance at him, he was still way too good looking but, he’d have to wait if he wanted any more of my attention.