Part 1
Priest:“If any person here present knows a reason why these two should not be joined in holy matrimony, speak now, or forever hold your peace.”
Her:(muttering under her breath)“Well, for one, she deserves infinitely better than a guy who looks like he’s practising his funeral face.”
Groom: “Stop. Hold on.”
Bride: “What? Babe, what are you doing?”
Groom:(turning slowly away from the altar, eyes locked on Her)“You. In the third row. In the emerald dress. Repeat what you just muttered.”
Her: “I- what? I didn’t say anything.”
Groom: “You did. You said she deserves better. And you know what? You are absolutely right. Wedding’s off.”
Bride:(screaming)“Are you insane?! You are calling off our wedding because of a random guest?!”
Groom:(completely calm, stepping down from the altar towards Her)“We don’t even like each other, darling. Let’s not pretend we do. But you... you have a remarkably loud whisper.”
Her: “Look, I was just talking to myself. Finish your vows, I’ll leave.”
Groom:(stops right in front of her, leaning in with a smirk)“Oh, no. You don’t get to ruin my wedding and just walk away. I think you owe me a dance, seeing as my schedule just cleared up.”
Her: “I’d rather dance on glass. Back off.”
Groom: “Fierce. I like it. Tell me, do you always cause this much chaos on a Saturday, or am I just lucky?”
Bride:(marching over, sobbing and furious)“You ruined my life! You, arrogant, pathetic—”
Her: “Wait, watch out, she has a—”
Groom:(hand instantly shooting out, catching the Bride’s wrist mid-air)“Ah, ah. Dropping a lit altar candle on a guest is bad etiquette, even for an ex-fiancée.”
Her:(staring at his hand on the Bride’s wrist, then up at him)“You’re completely out of your mind.”
Groom:(winking at her)“Probably. But now that we’re both single and dangerous... what did you say your name was?”
