Chapter 1 : In his arms
The light was so bright and pure that it hurt her eyes, forcing her to raise her hands to shield her face as she tried to figure out where she was. Through the blinding glare, she saw the face she had begged to see just one more time.
He was smiling with a warmth that shone even brighter than the painful light.
Just seeing him made the crushing weight in her chest instantly disappear. She felt lighter than air.
Her feet carried her forward faster than she thought possible, sprinting toward him until she threw herself into his arms.
Julian caught her easily. At 6′4", his muscular frame enveloped her completely, lifting her 5′3" body off the ground as she wrapped her legs around his waist.
“I miss you more than the sky could hold,” she whispered through sobs and trembling smiles.
She buried her face in his neck, breathing in his familiar scent.
Pulling back slightly, she looked into his blue-mist eyes. They were entirely at peace.
He nodded gently, a single strand of his curly hair escaping from where it was tied back.
“I miss you, Natasha,” he whispered, kissing her forehead.
“This is beautiful,” she breathed, only just now noticing the loud, rhythmic crashing of the sea waves behind them.
He nodded, gently setting her feet back onto the sand before taking her hands in his.
“Come,” he murmured. “Let me show you.”
Natasha let him guide her. As the blinding glare slowly faded, the world around them came into sharp focus. They were standing on an endless, empty beach. To their left, the ocean stretched out forever, the deep blue waves cresting into pure white foam as they crashed against the shore. To their right, a simple, beautiful wooden cottage was nestled against the dunes.
“Where are we?” Natasha whispered, squeezing his hand tightly, terrified that if she let go, he would dissolve back into the light.
Julian looked down at her, his eyes crinkling at the corners with that familiar, comforting warmth he always had. “We’re here. Just you and I. Like we always wanted.”
She felt a profound relief wash over her, so intense it made her dizzy. She looked back toward where she came from, but trying to remember it felt like trying to see through thick fog.
Julian realized the emotion building in her. “Come on,” Julian said softly, tugging her gently toward the cottage. “I made tea.”
She smiled, wiped the last of her tears away with the back of her hand and followed him inside.
Julian tilted his head as Natasha took a sip, tightening his eyes and hoping to make sure she really liked it, since she was a tea expert. When she didn’t immediately say anything after the first sip, his face slightly dropped with disappointment.
“You don’t like it, right?” he said.
Natasha still didn’t say much of anything, just uttering a quiet, “Hmm, hmm,” as if she were thinking. Sixty seconds later, with her eyes still squinting, she spoke.
“I have never had anything like this. I was trying to pin down the flavor, but it tastes so peaceful and free, if that is even a word to describe it,” she said.
Julian had a look of pure relief on his face. “Thank goodness,” he muttered, taking a sip of his own.
Natasha smiled and took another sip of hers.
Natasha set her cup down on the wooden table. She looked around the cottage. It was beautiful, filled with the comforting smell of aged wood and shelves packed tight with her favorite books. Everything felt completely customized to comfort her.
She looked back at Julian, who smiled warmly at her.
“These are all the things I love,” she said softly.
He nodded, his eyes bright.
Her eyes still wandered, searching for what more this cottage held, when a faint wrinkle formed between her brows. She looked at the wall above the fireplace. It was bare. She looked toward the hallway, then back to the kitchen.
“Julian?” she asked, turning her head toward him.
“Yeah?” he replied, leaning back in his chair as he watched her with total contentment.
“Where are the clocks?”
Julian didn’t answer right away. He just smiled, a gentle, easy expression that seemed to brush the question aside. “We don’t need them here, Natasha. Time doesn’t matter anymore.”
She blinked, accepting the answer because it felt too good to argue with. The idea of a world without deadlines, hours, or rushing was a relief. But as she stood up to stretch her legs, she walked toward the small bathroom near the hallway. She pushed the door open, intending to splash some water on her face.
She stopped in the doorway.
Above the sink, where a mirror should have been, there was only a smooth, blank wooden panel. She stepped back into the living room, looking around more closely now. There wasn’t a single reflective surface in the entire house. No glass frames, no mirrors, nothing.
When she turned around, Julian was standing right behind her. He didn’t look angry or scary; his expression was still pure warmth, but he gently placed his large hands on her shoulders, anchoring her.
“Don’t worry about what’s missing,” he whispered calmly. “Just focus on what’s here. Look at me.”
Natasha looked up into his eyes, realizing she was worrying too much. She ran into his arms again, her heart beating even louder now. She raised her head to watch him, and he leaned in. His cold lips met her warm ones as he slowly dove into a kiss. It started with a deep breath, but suddenly they both lost their breath in the depths of it. He held her head just enough to make her feel entirely safe, their kiss tangling with an intensity that felt like never letting go. He picked her up one more time, lifting her so she was almost at his height, while she held onto his face, kissing him back without ever wanting to let go.
Natasha pulled back. “I love you so much that it hurts, Julian... Please, I do,” she said, suddenly sobbing as tears dropped from her eyes.
“I know you do, Nat,” he muttered, gently kissing away every single tear from her eyes.
“I’m sorry, I’m so sorry,” she muttered over and over, the words pouring out of her until he chuckled through his own tears.
“It wasn’t your fault,” he whispered back. “I was a jerk. I should have never let go of you. I couldn’t show you how much I loved you, Nat.”
Natasha looked deep into both of his eyes before crashing her lips against his tightly. She wrapped her hands securely around his neck as their kiss drove forward, filled with an even higher, desperate speed.
