Gardenias On Terra

I can’t move, my body feels too heavy. I try to lift my hands to my face, but it all feels unnatural. “Have I been asleep for a few days or what?” I think.

I open my eyes slowly, blinking until my vision clears, and see a transparent ceiling above me and a cloudless sky. The light through the ceiling is warm. Last time I stood directly under the sun on Earth, my skin was scalded.

Where is this?

I slowly sit up and look around.

The room is spacious, with the bed in its center below the transparent ceiling. The wardrobe next to the door is a deep chestnut brown, similar to the nightstand beside me.

The bed is quite big for one person, but the pillows are soft, the beige sheets and the sunbaked terracotta kilim rug are calming.

But seriously, what is it with this overly sterile, cold smell? It doesn’t add up.

Then I look out the window near my bed. I am suddenly in awe. I can see a lot of trees and even flowers. I suddenly start tearing up.

I remember living on Earth, a dying planet. The plants were almost extinct. I never saw a real flower, only some old photos of it that my mother kept. The air was no longer clear. I never even saw such a sky.

Suddenly, a memory crept into my mind: I was going on a trip and then nothing.

I tried to remember, but suddenly another set of memories appeared. Memories surfaced. Not mine. Lives I had never lived.

A small boy with green eyes going to school for the first time, holding his backpack and looking around nervously. The same boy trying his flying scooter for the first time, and he falls immediately. I wince when he scrapes his knee, but he jumps up again, already trying one more time. Wait, flying scooters- from where are these popping up?

This is not Earth, no way, and these memories don’t belong to me; they belong to this body but not me.So did I just transmigrate here? Did something go wrong with the trip? Maybe something was wrong with the aircraft? Seems I died and came here after all.

I was lost in thought when the door opened, and a young man with an intense gaze appeared. Where did I see that gaze before? It was stern, mature, and cool. It seemed it was trying to remind me of something, but again, blank.

The man had green eyes and tall, upright stature. Within a few strides, he reached beside me and knelt beside my bed while holding my hands.

“Mum,” he said slowly as if testing the word.

“You have got me worried,” he exhaled and went on, “you had a serious head trauma”

“Umm, who are you?” I asked, bewildered.

“Mum, it seems that your memory got all messed up after losing consciousness,” he said worriedly. “I’m Leo”

Leo, my son, echoes through my mind with an unsettling feeling. First school day, a birthday, a wedding it was as if snapshots appeared in my mind but vanished too quickly. I wanted to hold onto them but couldn’t.I look at him again, a mature young man who seems to be nursing his mother.

“What is my name?” I ask

“Iris, you should rest more, Mum,” he said worriedly.

Iris, what a coincidence that this body’s original host shared the same name.

Looking at the worried man beside me, I try to joke, “Maybe my head needs another hit to reset; this doesn’t feel like my body.” Something flashed behind his eyes. Remorse? But for what?Then he looked horrified. It seems he doesn’t appreciate my sense of humor.

Suddenly, an alarm-like sound erupts. He touches his ears, and a hologram screen appears. He takes a look and closes it.

“Mum, I need to go to work,” he then hurriedly leaves. “I will be back by dinner”

Seriously, what is this place? I see what looks like a remote control. I start pressing it. Suddenly, a 3-dimensional hologram appears. A woman is reading the news. She mentions that this is Terra.I close the hologram again. Terra. I knew it; this is not Earth at all.

This was all too much to take in; I lean back in bed and drift to sleep. I keep dreaming and dreaming. I wake up a while later, all sweaty and cold. I keep looking around for someone.

Someone that I don’t know. “Where is he?” my chest tightens. I start crying.

Who is he. What is this unbearable pain?