The bare bones of a story

"I think with a bit of work and bulking up, this could be made into an interesting story. As it stands it is a little difficult to engage with for a couple of reasons. Firstly, it feels like English might be the writer's second language, as there are a lot of missing or misspelled words, fragmented sentences, etc. It makes it harder to engage with the story when there are so many tiny errors and omissions like that. Not that writing in a second language isn't commendable, but as a native English speaker, you notice all these tiny things when reading and it ends up taking your attention from the story. Secondly, the blurb at the start kind of gives away the only little twist of the story. In telling us that you made friends with the killer, the reader is waiting for that to happen. I think the story could be the core of something if it is worked upon but it needs a lot of love and care, and a series of edits."