regression

(y0u w1ll b3 0k)

it should have stung my eyes as i opened them. the lights. but thry didn't. i pressed my hands against the cold tile floor as i sat up, taking in my surroundings. i quickly figured out i was in a mall of some kind, but this place, it was quiet.... weirdly quiet. quiet to a point that should have disturbed me, yet the longer i spent with the silence the more i thought i began to hear soft music in the background. it was calm, odd, sweet, but something about it was distorted, off.

i stood up carefully. my head felt fuzzy and the last thing i wanted was to bust my head on the floor with no one around to help, and i had a feeling that no one would hear me scream. that feeling made me sick, but somehow this place didn't scare me. in fact, it felt comforting, which, for a place i had never been, was odd.

i wandered around the empty floor, taking in the shops around me. or, well, trying to. the store fronts or signs were blurred out, as if i wasn't meant to know them. i hadn't unlocked those memories yet. regardless, i wandered on, in an almost doll like, automatic state. as i wandered deeper, store fronts and signs became more visible and, eventually, recognizable. i saw things like Hot Topic and Bath and Body. i also saw Claires and Spencer's. i walked into the bath and body first, i didn't know why. usually, i hated going in there. all those smells got to me, but this time, the smell was dull. the only way to smell a scent was by picking it up and holding it to my face and there were some i couldn't smell at all. it made for a much more pleasant visit.

the bottles were pastel purple and other bright, pastel shades. some were labeled. some were not and a few of the ones that were labeled didn't really have names, rather, they had blurred out labels or random letters and scribbles where the words should be. a lot of them were purple and various other pastel and bright colors. one reminded me of clear blue water that had never been touched. i looked down at the label that i thought had been blank not two seconds ago. it now read

"Untouched waters"

ironic. i threw the bottle into my basket. wait, a basket? i wasn't carrying that before. it seemed to change from pastel purple to green softly, like color changing lights. feeling a little confused i grabbed an unlabeled purple bottle and put it in my new basket. I'd just decide on the flavor once i got home. i walked out of the bath and body works. i felt odd watching a smile form across my own face, like i was proud of myself for nothing. i could now see through my eyes again as i walked into hot topic. unlike the bath and body works, hot topic hadn't changed color pallets. it was still dark. red and black sweaters hung from the walls and accessories could be found all over the place. i found some bracelets with silver studs and threw them in my basket. this was stealing. this was wrong, but i was meant to do this right?

(1ts 0k y0u c4n tak3 !t)

i made my way out of bath and body and continued my journey checking out many stores as i went along, yet i can't seem to remember what i experienced there. as i continued my trek i began to realize i was seeing things i shouldn't. stores that had long since been lost to time such as Block Buster and Toys R Us. the rest of the stores were blurred but i knew. i knew they were places that, like some memories, had been buried amongst newer, modern innovations. i ran straight to the Toys R Us store. i wanted to cry. it was perfect. i handled the plastic baseball bats with care, each different color striking a chord in me with they're brightness. i walked down the baby doll isle "hello" i cooed "hello" i thought i heard faint greetings, but i knew they were in my head. they were only whispers that didn't exist. i ran around laughing, yet i barely felt like i was moving and my laughter was quiet and i didn't feel any contraction in my throat. finally, i picked up a big, round container of chalk and walked back out into the mall and sat it down. might as well see block buster before i begin to color.

don't ask me why i remembered a store i had never been too. i don't know. i quickly lost interest. i wasn't a movie person anyway. i know! I'd go to barns and noble. good thing it was close.

i didn't know how i got there but before i could realize what was happening, i was making my way through tables of books, and, just like i was a kid again, rushed past them towards the kid's area. i felt so happy upon seeing it. i walked over and, before i even knew what was happening, i was coloring with a red crayon. well, if you can call random scribbles coloring. what i was coloring on, i wasn't sure. i just assumed it was paper.

i felt the giggles like a whisper in the back of my throat. i heard a soft cooing.

(y0ur s4f3 her3)

i began to give into the age regression. there was no one around. who cares! haha! i danced. i sang. i giggled, but everyone needs rest, even here. soon i began to feel tired. i curled up in the corner of the carpeted part of the stage. it should have felt hard and scratchy, but it felt just as soft as my own pillow. i pressed my face against my hand, the only thing that felt real and slowly, surely, i fell asleep....i think.

the sunlight met my eyes. i sat up and looked around before rolling over and deciding to go back to sleep for a few more hours. i was home and i had time. i felt calm and cozy as i let my bed and blanket envelop me in safety