What is your opinion?
Review
"The story has humour. The story plot is building up and since there is only one chapter, I couldn't rate it based on the whole story. Overall a good start."
Kindhearted - Review
"Strange approach to this. Is it a play or a novel approach to a story? It doesn't actually work as either, I feel. A play needs to be much longer anyway and contain more action prompts and scene settings; a story needs to have the action prompts and scene settings incorporated in the body of the text. I have no real beef with the language, although it seems a typical YA attempt at humour and, as a Brit, the American youth culture leaves me a bit bemused. Overall, I felt it was trying to be funny for comedy's sake and failing because of that. It would have worked much better as a regular story, although it doesn't actually go anywhere. There is a beginning, there is sort of a middle and the end just kind of hangs there leaving me wondering what the point was."
Needs Improvements
"Hello, there. I wonder why you wrote the story in a form of script. As a script writer and stage director, I would have difficulties translating your script into a play. You do need to write more explanation about the scene, the setting, and the moves that the characters have to do. But I think you'd better write this as a short story instead of a script, because it would be interesting to know what Peter had in his mind. About the story, it might be a nice simple comedy. Well, that's all I can say. Keep up the writing! Regards, Kei Angelus"
