Chapter 1 - Sonnet
I actually felt sorry for Echo as she tried to settle in with her new babies. Even after all I knew she had done to pull my mates away from me, I understood the stress she was feeling with her newest twins not settling in. I could hear their cries throughout the day and prayed my own babies weren't as stressful as those two.
The twins, Arianna and Carina, were cute, but were also little demanding divas. Poor Drake was wrung out, and I have a feeling if he had had those two hellions first, he would have had a little snip done to prevent any more horrible screaming creatures.
While Drake got to escape back to Saphira for a few nights of uninterrupted, peaceful sleep, Echo was beginning to look positively ghastly. She was pale with dark circles under her eyes; her hair was dull and piled into a messy bun most of the time. But it was her eyes that really worried me. They were filled with utter despair.
I've seen that look before; hell, I've had that look myself before. She was lost, broken, and unsure of how to pull herself back up. While I felt sorry for her, that didn't mean I actually liked her.
I kept my distance from her and hoped maybe this experience would humble her enough to keep her nose out of my bonds. Or at the very least, make her so exhausted she didn't have the energy to mess with my bonds.
In an effort to avoid the screaming twins, Sasha has sought my company more and more. It’s a little disconcerting since we really don’t have much in common, but she has been teaching me some things about being a luna in case I am ever allowed into Griffin’s pack. We actually found common ground and have been slowly building a friendship built on respect.
Griffin's letter along with the necklace was a low blow, and I haven’t spoken to him much. I knew he was upset about the gift I got Megan, but I really didn’t see the big deal. She’s still a kid who needs an outlet for her feelings. It’s not like she is taking over his stupid pack next year.
Merrie tried to soothe things, but she failed miserably. The poor woman told me I really needed to run things pertaining to Megan by Griffin before I do anything. I told her it was a simple gift; I hadn’t enrolled her in art school in Paris for crying out loud.
I was grumping to the six in my stomach when Smoke came in and quirked his eyebrow. “Want to talk about it?”
“No.”
He sat down next to me. “Want to bash Griffin a little?”
Sighing, I tossed my tablet onto the coffee table. “No. I just don’t understand how something so damn simple turned into a war. Megan likes to draw and paint. She wanted to learn pottery. I got her a gift that I thought she would enjoy. Then, Griffin blew it up and accused me of encouraging her to do art instead of alpha-up and stepping into leadership; she’s only nine for crying out loud.”
Smoke smirked. “Alpha-up? That’s a new one.”
“You know what I mean.” I was rubbing my stomach where I kept feeling little flutters.
His hand slid over mine. “What’s wrong with your stomach?”
“Nothing. I just keep feeling fluttering. I think it’s the babies – or gas.”
He snorted at that. “I hope it’s not gas. I’m sitting right here.”
Tugging me closer to him, he wrapped his arms around me. “I’m sorry I’ve been so distant. I’ve been trying to figure things out. How did we go from best friends who shared everything to mates who avoided each other? I want us to be best friends who also happen to be mates. I want us to be the way we were before, just with a few extra benefits. Vapor wants to support Zaia and Sia.”
I sighed. “I want that, too. Maybe we need to talk more and be like we were before we came to this stupid pack. I’m mad at Emery for being so damned needy and forcing me to come here.”
His chuckle made me smile. “No, you’re not mad. If she hadn’t needed us, you never would have found your mates, they never would have abandoned you, and I never would have had to swoop in and take care of your needs, causing Vapor to go absolutely insane. Oh, and you would still be running from the Alpha King. Maybe we need to go back to the basics”.
Okay, so he made a valid point. I was just feeling alone and tired. “Back to basics, huh? What does that entail?”
“I think I need to step back from the gym and let Crash, Alex, and Malachi handle things there. I’ll focus on SmokeShield with you. Then, when the pups come, we will take a step back from SmokeShield and focus on them.”
He kissed my temple. “We may need to talk about a different house if Griffin isn’t ready for you to move in with him. I mean, I don’t think Luca will appreciate us blowing through walls to create a larger nursery.”
“I’m not sure I want to move to Griffin’s pack. He really hurt me. I just don’t know that I want to see him every single damn day.”
That night, Smoke stayed with me. The others have fallen into new routines that leave me sleeping alone most nights. None have tried to touch me, and frankly I was getting a little tired of having eight mates and not one single one wanted to make love with me. I was beginning to feel fat, undesirable, and absolutely hideous, not to mention constantly aroused with no outlet, making me irritable and frustrated.
By the end of February, my stomach had expanded quite a bit, and I was scheduled for my second appointment with Dr. Stone. Dr. Gibson was also planning on being there for the appointment. I knew Volt wanted to go with me when he saw the appointment on my schedule, but I told him no. I’m a big girl; I think I can handle a simple doctor’s appointment without a man.
Dr. Stone was concerned that I wasn’t eating much. I lied and told her I was still getting severely sick. I did still get sick, but it was manageable now. I just didn’t want to eat too much and gain even more weight. When I asked about stretch marks and flabby skin, I think Dr. Gibson understood why I was careful with food, and I saw the worry in her eyes.
Dr. Stone smiled and told me what lotion to buy to help minimize stretch marks. She also gave me a brochure on a procedure that shrinks flabby skin without having to be sedated.
Dr. Gibson talked about delivery and things that could be done if I wasn’t able to deliver naturally. Apparently, this is a real possibility when multiples are involved. That terrified me more than anything, and I started researching cesarean births.
I also researched the best formula for the babies and had a pantry full of the stuff. Even if I was excited to breastfeed the babies, my body wouldn’t be able to produce enough milk to feed six.
Smoke and Tucker helped me figure out which bottles would be best, and I ordered sixty of them. Tucker shook his head, and Smoke laughed.
