Chapter 1
“Thomas”, the nurse said.
“The taxi arrives in ten minutes, are you ready?”
I am seated next to the same window, on the same chair watching how the window frame slowly changed colours from white to soft yellow.
There was not much to do in the elderly home I was forced to call home. It felt less like living and more like waiting.
The coffee next to me has gone cold and I was not surprised that even the cup it came in still had the faint lip stains of Ms. Phelps. A woman who always wore perfume, even in the mornings.
“Yes, yes I am coming”, I tell the nurse
“Just give me a moment to loosen these old hips”
The room is silent, I hold the armrests of the chair as I pull my weight from the chair, it squeaks as I stand up.
A sudden thud echoed through the room.
My foot caught the leg of the coffee table before I could steady myself. The mug tipped over, spilling cold coffee across the carpet before shattering into pieces beside me.
I landed hard on my back.
For a moment, I just lay there in the spreading stain of coffee, staring at the ceiling.
Then I started to cry.
Within seconds, nurses came rushing into the room.
“Mr. Vanderbilt, are you okay? What happened”, said the nurse who tried to lift me back into my chair.
“Just a little hazy”, I said, “Today is not my best day as you might understand”.
“Are you sure you are fit enough to travel today”, Head nurse Ms. Whitmore said.
“Don’t worry about me Sarah, I just lost balance, il get a new shirt and then I’m ready to go”.
The other nurse, Lucy, helped Sarah to clear up the mess.
As I regained control of my body I shuffled slowly to my wardrobe.
My wardrobe was filled with four shirts and three trousers, not much. Since I moved a little smaller to the elderly home, I didn’t find it necessary to take all of my belongings with me, it wouldn’t even fit anyways so why should I bother.
Next to my shameful amount of clothing I owned was a fairly decent suit I once bought for a special occasion.
I had never found the occasion.
The days just started to blur together.
“Thomas”, Sarah softly said.
“Are you sure about today”, she said with her suiting soft voice.
“I know what today means for you, but your health-“.
“I don’t care about my health”, I said without letting her finishing her sentence.
“Il be ready in five minutes, I’m sure il be fine”.
After that Sarah left the room with a sigh and a tray full debris.
I dressed in silence.
The days leading up, I started to think about her again.
One thing always stayed clear in my mind. Back then, when the future was not written yet, how fast the time flies.
It only feels like yesterday, I can still remember how her eyes sparkled in the same sunlight that hits me when I’m seated in that awful chair. Or what the scent was I bought for her, hoping that she would like it.
Actually a funny story, the reason I liked it so much was because it was her own scent she was using for years.
Maybe that was already the first sign that I really wasn’t paying attention. well I had my own things to think about, just had a new job… wait I’m rambling on about this.
I lost control of my own thoughts and almost forget what I was doing.
Almost.
“Mr. Vanderbilt, the taxi is here”, Lucy said carefully.
“I’m coming”, I said whilst I combed my hair backwards
Just as I wanted to look back at my room, still seeing the dark coffee stain that was left in the carped I started franticly searching every pocket of the suit.
“Oh no”, I whispered, while Lucy walked into my room wondering why it took my so long to step into the taxi.
“what is wrong”, Lucy said annoyed.
“I can’t leave without it”.
Panicked I emptied every drawer in my room. The one from my dresser, the ones from my nightstand and even the storage space that I never used from under my bed.
“what are you looking for Thomas?”, “the taxi is here, you need to go otherwise you’ll be late!”, Lucy said with urgence in her voice.
“I need to find it,” I said. “otherwise I can’t go.”
“What? What are you looking for Thomas!”, Lucy said
“The yellow cylinder”, I said.
At that moment, the taxi driver appeared behind Lucy, with Sarah beside him. The driver checked his watch, impatient.
“We are already late. We need to leave.”
“Thomas”, Sarah said sharply, “how many times do I need to tell you”.
“It is in your wall safe,” she said. “I don’t understand why you keep it there. It’s broken. You can’t even watch it. Who would steal a roll of film from you?”
Of course.
It was there.
I opened my safe, secretly put my Swiss pocket knife in my inner suit pocket.
I followed the taxi driver outside.
“Think of yourself”, Sarah said with a disturbed voice while I was entering the car.
The car was black, but surprisingly clean. The seats were made of black leather, and heated by the sun. I must have been static, because when closing the door I got a painful shock from the doorhandle.
“I’m fine, it will be alright”, I told Sarah as the door closed.
The taxi driver entered the car and I fastened my seatbelt
“You know where you need to go, right?”
“Yes, everything has been taken care of, just sit back and relax.”
“The ride will be long”, the taxi driver said while he was adjusting his rearview mirror.
In the rearview mirror, I saw myself.
For a moment, I didn’t recognize him.
Then I did.
An old man who had once been someone else.
Someone with plans that had never become anything.
I felt my pocket once again and sighed with relief when I felt the roll of film in my pocket.
The sun shined on my face through the window whilst driving away.
I stared at Sarah and Lucy, they were whispering something in each other’s ears, but I couldn’t understand them as I already was too far away.
As the road looked empty, the sky clear and the air-conditioning of the car breezed on my face I heard a song.
Our song.
