Choosing to Stay
I was standing in a field
color everywhere—
red
bleeding into orange
yellow caught in the wind
blue stretching too far to hold
people stood shoulder to shoulder
watching
like it meant something
it was beautiful
until it wasn’t
a man found me
his eyes hidden
behind something too dark
to be called glass
put these on
I shook my head
the sun wasn’t hurting me
but he pressed them into my hands anyway
his fingers lingered
like he wanted to say something else
he didn’t
he just left
looking like
he already knew
I turned them over
once
twice
curiosity is quiet
but convincing
I put them on
the field didn’t disappear
it just… faded
red forgot how to burn
yellow stopped trying
blue went cold
everything was still there
just quieter
like the world
had taken a step back
and I was supposed to pretend
it hadn’t
I tried to take them off
they stayed
I pulled harder
they stayed
the edges pressed into my skin
like they belonged there
like they had always been there
no one else seemed to notice
they walked
talked
laughed
like this was normal
like color had never existed
like this was enough
the thought made the lenses darker
still darker
and darker
until I couldn’t remember
what it looked like before
hello
the voice startled me
I turned
another person
same glasses
darker than mine
does everyone have these?
I asked
yes
a pause
though…
though what?
they tilted their head
like they were thinking
or remembering
I think they come off
my chest tightened
how?
I tried
it hurt
they smiled
not happy
just… certain
by force
their hands reached up
for a moment
they hesitated
like they knew something
I didn’t
then—
a sharp sound
the world cracked open
in their eyes
color rushed back in
too bright
too loud
too much
they laughed
or maybe they cried
I couldn’t tell
their face looked like both
like feeling everything
all at once
wasn’t relief
it was unbearable
and then
they were gone
simply gone
as if never there to begin with
I stood in the field
colorless
quiet
unchanged
the glasses still pressed
into my skin
while the world
waited
and kept waiting
like it always had
time passed
my glasses didn’t change
I walked the trail alone
shoulders brushed past me
laughter slipped between people
like I wasn’t there
no one looked twice
at the dark shape
covering my eyes
I remembered
someone
years ago
the snap
the color
the way it came back
all at once
too much
why don’t I do that?
my hand found the edge
what are you doing?
a voice—new
I dropped it
oh… nothing
a pause
be careful
silence settled
walk with me?
I didn’t expect that
didn’t expect time to stretch a little further
their glasses were dark
not darker than mine
just… the same
we didn’t say much
but we didn’t have to
more people, eventually
some with lighter lensesseeing something I couldn’t
some darkerbarely seeing anything at all
what does it feel like
the question came from someonewith pitch black glass
to break them
why would you want that
it’d be easier
I shook my head
it isn’t
silence
it’s everything at once
too loudtoo sharptoo much to hold
and you matter too much
to vanish into that
their glasses didn’t change
not really
just…
didn’t get worse
later
I went back to the field
not the same
but still there
I knelt
picked a dandelion
small
fragile
real
let me staynot because I’m giving the world a last chance
just—
because I want to
I breathed out
the petals scattered
and for a second
nothing
then
a flicker
red
smallangryalive
like a matchfighting the dark
it wasn’t everything
not even close
but it was something
after so longof nothing
the glasses never came off
they never will
but maybe
they don’t have to
some daysthey’ll be heavier
some dayslighter
but if I can still choose
still stay
still find even one color
that’s enough.
