ONE
Life is a real bitch.
First you’re born to a father who dealt in trafficking females, then you meet your mate who’s already mated to another, then that female tries to have you abducted but your mother’s pack steps in, you spend months thinking that your fated doesn’t want you and your sent into a rage fuelled mission to get information, then you and your fated kiss and make up, accidentally kick start the beginnings of war, ascend to High Alpha. And then, after all of that, the Moon decides to throw another wrench in your life by giving you a second perpromenos.
After finding out about Alpha Keres, Nyx had leapt off the balcony and disappeared into the woods. Was that the best idea considering the fact the last time she had ran away from her problems, tit had resulted in an almost abduction that landed her in Aazu for several months? Probably not. But when the Moon gives her lemons, Nyx apparently runs for the hills.
She had spent days out in the woods, her only communication with anyone was Molly, and that was only to tell her to tell Aalok that she was okay. The thought of speaking to Aalok without telling him about Keres made her physically ill. And the idea of telling Aalok about Keres made her want to dig a hole six feet deep and bury herself in it for the rest of her life. She needed time, and space. She had tried to conjure up one of her dreams with the Moon to curse her out and demand an explanation, but it seemed the Moon had no intentions of explaining herself.
What a bitch.
Nyx stood just inside of the tree line behind her and Aalok’s home, eyeing the back patio door they had once bolted out of to begin their mating trials. She had passed the lake where they had fought on the way back and almost keeled over as the memories attacked her. The ball of guilt and shame in her stomach wound her up tight, and she suddenly felt the need to hurl up the rabbit she had eaten a few hours ago.
If Nyx had it her way, she’d be deep in the woods still, wallowing in her own pity and guilt. That being said, Molly had tracked her down and kicked her ass so hard she was forced to return home. Damn Frisk females. Nyx was strong, and now well versed in combat, but the Frisk females could put anyone on their asses. Made Nyx wonder what the hell they were doing in Picaui. They had to have Alpha blood in them, so why were they both hiding out in the forest packs?
You’re stalling.
Nyx let out a huff of frustration as she turned her head to see the white wolf behind her. Due to the magic in her bloodline, she had the ability to shift pelts whenever she felt like it. It helped aid her when she was spying on other packs. She adapted to her surroundings no matter where she was. A brown coat would be odd to find in the mountains and harder to hide in the snow. That’s how she was able to test the borders of Aazu for so long without getting caught when she was trying to find Nyx. Molly’s natural pelt was snow white, not an inkling of gray to be found in her coat. She never switched pelts when she was home, never really needing to.
“Do you blame me?” Nyx had confided in Molly about the entire situation after she had kicked Nyx’s ass so hard into the ground she was sure she left behind an imprint. Molly was a good Beta, knowing when to push and knowing when to push even harder. There was no way Nyx was leaving that clearing before spilling her guts about why she had disappeared in the first place.
The female walked to her side, pressing her head into her shoulder in an attempt to comfort her. Nyx’s hand found the top of Molly’s head, softly stroking the white tufts.
The Moon’s a bitch. But she has her reasons. This is on her, not you. You had no say in any of this, Aalok will understand. He might disappear into the woods for a little bit to come to terms with it, but he will not blame you. He’ll blame the bitch.
Nyx let out a snort, the tension in her shoulders lessening by the minute. Molly wasn’t wrong. The Moon was a bitch, and Nyx didn’t ask for this. She had found Aalok, fallen in love with him, and started the mating trials with him. If the Moon was at all an all good entity, she’d’ve given Keres a different mate. Because who the hell thought that giving one woman two Alpha males was a good idea? But with Nyx’s destructive and depressing upbringing, she knew the Moon wasn’t an all good entity. She gave birth to her creations, gave some of them fateds, and then went to sleep somewhere up in the sky. She didn’t care what the rest of them did. For the most part. Seeing as she had designated Nyx as her meddling beast of justice, it seemed they did tend to piss her off sometimes.
A surrendering sigh escaped Nyx as she took the first step forward out of the tree line. Molly backtracked into the trees, but didn’t fully retreat. Probably to make sure Nyx didn’t try to make a run for it. Which she may or may not have been fully considering. The moment she was fully out in the open, the back door swung open, revealing a very disheveled looking Aalok. A pang stabbed at her chest as she took him in. The bags underneath his eyes, his ashen skin. His hair was unkept, he hadn’t even bothered to put the long locks into a bun to keep it out of his face.
Before she could take another step, he had closed the distance between them, swooping her up into his arms and holding her tightly. Nyx’s beast whined as she tried to comfort Aalok’s, pushing forward and nuzzling at him. It seemed his beast was angry with her, but not angry enough to decline her comfort. Aalok breathed in deeply, taking in her scent almost as though he couldn’t believe that she was there. Wordlessly, he repositioned Nyx in his arms so that she was in a bridal hold, his nose still nuzzled within the crook of her neck. She could hear Molly retreat as they entered their home. Her job was done, she had delivered Nyx back to Aalok in one piece.Well, mostly one piece. The bite mark on her ass was still throbbing.
He carried her all the way up into their bathroom, filling the tub without stopping to put her down. Oils and bubbles were added to the bath as they filled and he stripped out of his clothes without trouble. Once the bath was filled to his liking, he lowered both of them into the tub, maneuvering Nyx so that her back was pressed against his chest and nestled between his legs. He washed in her silence, his hands moving over her body in a way that wasn’t sexual in any nature, just precise. She attempted to do the same, but he had silently shut that down, taking any product she had put in her hands back on the lip of the tub. Nyx tried to ignore the hurt that shot through her.
He was angry with her. And confused. And he had every right to be. She had run away, again, and wouldn’t talk to him. She knew that he had been out of his mind with worry, probably having flashbacks to the last time Nyx had disappeared out into the woods. She had felt him tugging on the bond when she wouldn’t open the mindlink to him, making sure she was still alive. She knew that she had been selfish, that she had been thinking of herself. But what was the alternative? Go back to the party like nothing happened? Paint a smile on her face while she lied to the man she loved? She had needed time and a plan to move forward. Not that she now had a plan or a way to move forward since all she was really doing was wallowing in her pain and shame before Molly intervened. But still.
Once Aalok was satisfied with having cleaned Nyx up, he lifted the two of them out of the tub, setting her down only to wrap her hair in a turban and wrap a warm robe around her. She was back in his arms and being carried to the bed not even a minute after he had set her on the ground. He set her down softly, disappearing for a moment to dry himself off and put on clothes. After he had finished with that, he returned to the bed, pulling her back into his arms.
They sat in silence for what seemed like hours, but was more likely just a handful of minutes. They needed to talk, but neither one wanted to start the conversation. Nyx sure as hell didn’t. But she owed it to him to tell him what was going on. Even if she didn’t understand it herself.
“I’m sorry.” The words broke the silence, but only just barely. Nyx couldn’t bring herself to speak louder than a breathy whisper. She hated this. She hated her life, her situation. She hated that stupid Moon bitch in the sky. She hated everything. But she mostly hated herself for putting Aalok through hell again.
“Why?” He wasn’t asking her why she was sorry. He already knew she was apologizing for disappearing for a full week without talking to him. Aalok wanted to know why she had done it in the first place. Why she felt like her only option for whatever had happened was to disappear into the woods and cut off contact. Why she felt like she couldn’t have come to him and talked to him. Why she needed space from him. And she owed him those answers. She just didn’t want to give them up, even if she knew she had to.
Her beast whined and pawed at her mind, the pain in Aalok’s voice breaking the two of them even more. Her beast was just as confused as she was. In wolf culture, you take one mate and that’s it. They weren’t a polyamorous species. Her beast didn’t know why she had an extra connection to another male either.
“You did absolutely nothing wrong. I need you to understand that. I love you, and you love me.” Nyx tried to cushion the conversation. She couldn’t help it. Aalok needed to know that this was not her choice. That she loved him, and she wanted nothing to do with this extra bond that was cursed to her. He remained silent. Closing her eyes, she took in a deep breath in an ill attempt to center herself.
“After spending the night speaking to a bunch of wolves who wanted something from us, or wanted the chance to ogle at the beast they called Death, I needed some fresh air. I needed a moment to myself to just breathe on my own without someone analyzing my every word, my every move. It didn’t help that Cadius found me and struck up a conversation. I was overstimulated, my beast was about ten seconds away from tearing into Cadius. So, I went to the patio, to let that air calm me, let the happiness of our pack soothe me.” Nyx was stalling and she knew it. Aalok didn’t need to know any of this. None of this had to do with why she had fled into the night. Why she had abandoned him and sent him into a worrying frenzy on what was supposed to be one of the shining moments of his career.
He remained silent.
Aalok’s hands were still laid softly on her midsection, her robe moving slightly as his thumb rubbed back and forth in an attempt to soothe himself. He was allowing her to explain herself without interrupting her, but his silence was deafening. It seeped deep into her soul, curling around her heart and squeezing it painfully. She let out a shaky breath before she continued.
“Alpha Keres met me on the balcony. I can only assume to meet me in person and possibly set a date for our meeting in No Man’s Land. My beast had been anxious all night, and being next to him only made it worse. I didn’t know why until I made eye contact with him.” Aalok’s hand stopped moving and he stopped breathing for a moment. Nyx turned in his arms, her hand reaching towards his face. His eyes were closed tightly, most likely to reign in the onslaught of emotions that was raging through him. A sob threatened to escape her as the tears began to well in her eyes. Her beast was frantic, howling relentlessly and trying to push forward to comfort her mate.
“It’s not possible.” Was all he could get out through gritted teeth. His hands clutched her tighter to him, like he was afraid if he let go he’d never see her again. Nyx remained silent, even though she knew she needed to say the words, no matter how much she didn’t want to. Despair coursed through their incomplete bond, the living wire thrashing wildly at the onslaught of emotions tearing through the both of them. Nyx blinked away the tears that were threatening to spill over, desperately trying to get a hold of her emotions.
“I don’t know how it’s possible, I don’t know why it’s possible. But he has the mark. In the same place you have it, in the same place I have it. I have a second perpromenos.” His beast pushed to the forefront, his eyes gleaming that dangerous gold that she loved so much. Claws gripped her where his hands once were, his canines dropping as he snarled. Fur began to pierce through his skin as he struggled to remain in human form. His entire body trembled as he desperately tried to stay in enough control to not shift in the middle of their bed.
“Mine.” His beast snarled out, gripping Nyx tighter. She felt the pinpricks of pain as his claws nicked her skin, but she made no noise. That pain was nothing compared to what they were both feeling inside.
He noticed though, his beast falling back ever so slightly to allow Aalok to remove himself from Nyx, her heart shattering as he did so. He stood from the bed, his claws now curled into fist and puncturing his own skin. His form was still shaking as he peered down at his mate. His mate. Because that’s what she was, damn the Moon. They stood there for a moment, silent and focusing on the other. The bond was a wreck of negative emotions and it was further breaking Nyx. She needed him to say something. Anything. And after a moment, he did.
“I have to go.” In a blink, he was gone. She could hear his shift from inside their room as he tore off into the woods. And when he let out a heart aching howl, her heart broke a little bit more.
