The Hyena And His Demanding Cat

“Hello, I guess, whatever,

I don’t know why

I have to introduce

Myself at all, but oh well, I’m

Siorc Ingne, hyena chimera,

I’m twenty four, hospitality major graduate, and

One big fixer upper

Roped into thankless jobs no one else does. I

Can’t stand

It, but it makes money, I guess.

Not like it matters, I

Guess.

Nothing matters, nothing will

Ever matter. I live in Enig, Sweden near

The border of Finland in an apartment complex of

Which is managed by my older brother Pira.

Eh, like I said,

Nothing matters. Sigh, whatever,

This world is populated by humans, chimeras and demons who live in harmony,

You get the stupid utopia picture. I

Feel like I have

One more stupid thing to mention.

Ugh, do I have to? I’m

Really not much of a talker,

Haha, whatever.

Yes, there’s one more component to

Everything in this world,

Now I guess this is

About to sound

Completely stupid, but

Haha, whatever,

In this world, you have something called a SoulCritter. No. Not soul

Mate, soulcritter.

Eh, so, whatever, you have a special animal you’ll one day meet. And, no it’s not

Ridiculous feel pain nonsense or romantic,

And if you ask that,

I’ll bite you. Sigh, so

Like, all humans, demons and chimeras have one and usually find theirs

In the first twenty years of their life. But, I’m

Very late in that regard.

Eh, does

It matter? I’ll

Never find this

Stupid black cat tail to the cat it belongs to,

Whatever. I’ll

End up being the only person alive that

Doesn’t

Ever end up finding their soulcritter. I

Need to give up. I’ll be twenty five

Soon, it’s all over.

I’ll never find my soulcritter.

Guess that’s fine, I

Have nothing

To strive for,

Haha, I’m

At a job just

To pay the

Stupid bills, barely

Any friends who contact me, so it’s not

Like anything matters. Not

Like anything ever mattered,

I will die alone and

Have no soulcritter.

Ah, well! That’s

Very much life.

Everything is

Nothing, I’ll

One day

Turn to dust

And rot.

So why hope

I’ll ever find mine? I

Never will. I

Guess I accepted it a

Long time ago, an

Eternity, if you will. I

Truly just don’t

Have anything to say.

In the end, I’ll

Never find mine. I

Guess aliens would

Get theirs before mine! Haha,

Obviously, aliens don’t exist,

I know they would

Never land on this

Gritty planet

Full

Of pollution and

Rot. Haha,

Maybe aliens will

End up blowing up Earth

And take all

The Soulcritters with them!

Ahaha, I feel

Like I would

Like to witness that!

No, come

On, stop

That. But, I guess I feel

Like it doesn’t matter.

In the end, I

Keep feeling like

Everything will rot.

I’ll rot, never accomplishing anything,

The world

Might be burned

And no one will

Truly be able

To do anything,

Eh, let it

Rot. It

Should all rot.”

{Humans, hear us, we are going to [INVADE.] We lifeforms from the planet [GLEOP A GLEORP A LEORP] shall come to your planet on X/X/XXXX. What day is it over there? We [DO NOT KNOW], but we are [COMING], and we shall [TAKE OVER YOUR SORRY LITTLE PLANET FOR OURSELVES.]

We have heard in the past [MILLENIA] that have [GONE BY] you [HUMANS] have [MADE YOUR PLANET INTO A BOILING CESSPOOL] and that [BOILING CESSPOOL] is becoming a [BOILING CESSPOOL] much [FASTER THAN A PLANET SHOULD BECOME A BURNING CESSPOOL!] What a shame, you are [TAKING YOUR HOME AND THROWING IT AWAY.] How could you [DO THIS?] You are making your [OWN HOME A BOILING CESSPOOL, A BOILING UNLIVABLE CESSPOOL!]

How could you do this?! You only have [ONE PLANET] as far we [LIVING BEINGS] from the planet of [GLEOP A GLEORP A LEORP] are concerned you [HUMANS HAVE NO RIGHT TO BE THE DOMINANT SPECIES ANYMORE.] So, that’s right, you flesh and blood from the third planet from the sun in the [SOLAR SYSTEM THAT IS LOCATED NEAR THE MILKY WAY] you living beings [DO NOT DESERVE TO BE AT THE TOP OF THE GALACTIC FOODCHAIN ANYMORE.]

We [SUPERIOR BEINGS] from [THE MINTY BELT OUT IN A GALAXY FAR FROM YOUR OWN] will prove to you all [WHAT A PLANET THAT IS IN BAD CONDITION LOOKS LIKE WHEN TAKEN OVER BY A PLANET IN GOOD CONDITION.] You will see, you will all see! Every single one of you [FURLESS CREATURES THAT HAS DOMINATED THE MOON AND SENT YOUR SPACE JUNK EVERYWHERE] what [PERFECTION ACTUALLY LOOKS LIKE.] We will give you [X] days. How many days is that? [WE DO NOT KNOW HOW TO COUNT IN THAT HUMAN ALPHABET OF YOURS] Or is it a [NUMBERPHET?] We [DO NOT KNOW]. Point is, [WE ARE COMING, SO YOU’D BETTER WATCH OUT.]

Let this [BE A MESSAGE TO TAKE CARE OF YOUR HOMES] or else, [YOU CAN KISS EVERY MORSEL OF YOUR GOOD LIVES GOODBYE] we will [STEAL YOUR LAND, CLAIM IT AS OUR OWN] which [SOME OF YOU HUMANS ARE ALREADY DOING TO OTHER HUMANS ANYWAY.] We will make what’s not yours [OURS.] So, send out your [MAGICAL GIRLS, DEMONS, OR ELECTRIC MONSTERS] at us with [ALL YOU’VE GOT.] But, [LET’S FACE IT, EVEN WTH MAGIC, YOU WILL NEVER WIN.] We are invincible, the perfect life forms.

So, [CONSIDER THIS A WARNING.] You will all [BECOME OUR SERVANTS ONCE WE ARE DONE TAKING OVER.] Yes, yes, so [SAY YOUR PRAYERS! PRAY TO WHATEVER GODS YOU WORSHIP.] Because when we’re all done, [THE ONLY GODS YOU WILL HAVE LEFT TO WORSHIP IS YOUR GLEOP GLEORP A LEORP OVERLORDS THAT WILL STEP ALL OVER YOU AND MAKE YOU GIVE UP YOUR PETS!]

You have [X DAYS] we shall arrive [WHENEVER X DAYS BECOME A DAYS] is that [HOW YOU HUMANS COUNT? IN LETTERS?] We [DO NOT KNOW] but it [DOES NOT MATTER.] This is your [LAST WARNING TO CHANGE THINGS FROM HOW THEY ARE NOW!] We will give you [X DAYS!] That is right, [X DAYS.] Goodbye. Gleep glorp!}

[Current Location: Enig, Sweden in the Sweet Spot Apartment Complex.]

It had been a bright, sunny day within the chimera housing district within Enig, Sweden. The birds were chirping their little tunes like their lives depended on it, young children near the human district block were skipping across the streets with their soulcritters for everyone to see, and the demon district were ready to throw some hands with their own. But, for one particular hyena chimera, today was the same old day of nothing that mattered.

Ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring.

Sigh.

Slamming down the alarm clock with a loud thud had been a short, young adult feminine appearing hyena chimera individual with long, messy dark purple hair that reached to about the upper chest. Pitch black cat tail peeking out from the side of the bed, the person rubbed the purple and green mismatched eyes as they shot straight open. Oh, wonderful, it’s already eight. Sigh, can the person just rot in bed for the rest of the week? Ha ha, right as if the siblings would let that happen. Time to get up, the person guesses.

Ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring.

Groan.

Smartphone ringing off the walls, the chimera let out a groan. Yes, yes, he knows, it’s time to get ready for work. Spare the person the morning reminder for the billionth time since the individual landed this stupid dead end! Go on, keep ringing up the line and make the bill cost even more while they’re at it, that’ll sure teach the person the value of money. Tch, suck on a lollipop and go away.

Ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring.

Ugh, whatever. Fine, picking up.

Click.

“Siorc, don’t ya got work in ’bout an hour? Ya’d betta not still be floppin ’round in bed!” an alto voice on the other line cried. “Do I gotta come over there?”

Mhm.

“Ya know that bossa yers ain’t gonne be patient fereva!” an alto voice on the other end cried. “I’m gonna have to come over there, aren’t I?”

Mhm.

“Woof, woof, woof, woof, woof!” a dog barked from the other end.

[Hello, hello, this is your handy, dandy, SoulCritter to human and adjacent translator here to translate for you what this SoulCritter fella is saying! “Get off yer lazy bum, ya useless younger brother!” Okaaay, your Handy Dandy SoulCritter Translator is signing out!]

“Halen, he ain’t useless, shut yer trap!” an alto voice cried. “Whateva, I’m walking, over, ya hear?”

Mhm.

Click.

Resisting the urge to bury his head in his quilt, the hyena tossed his phone across the bed. Can Varg for once in his life maybe forget to call, pretty please? How does forever sound? That’s be wonderful! He’s twenty four, not twelve! Groan, why did he ever move into this apartment complex? Not like he could afford to go anywhere else, but whatever. Oh, well, that’s on him, he supposed. Reaching for the communication notebook, he crossed his fingers. Please, forget forget which apartment is his! Or, better yet, don’t come here! Doesn’t he have his own business to take of? Please do!

Knock, knock, knock, knock.

Pesky pounds on the opposite side of the door getting louder, the young adult buried his face in the covers once more. There he is. Can’t everyone see he has more important things to do here? Like, he doesn’t know, rotting? That sounds like a great past time right about now. Turn him into a zombie! Better yet, consider that the fourth species that exists here that can live in harmony or whatever. Brains, brains.

Yoink.

“Woof, woof, woof, woof, woof!” Halen shouted.

[Hello, hello, it’s me, your Handy Dandy SoulCritter translator here! What did our friend Halen say just now? I’ve got your back. He said, “Get up you lazy bum with purple hair!” SoulCritter translator, signing out!]

“Halen, watch yer tongue!” an alto voice shouted. “How many times I gotta tell ya Siorc ain’t no lazy bum!”

Standing uninvited by his bedroom door had been a short, feminine, no excuse him, super manly and masculine hyena chimera dude that had been around the same height as him. No, sorry his bad, a tall, manly person in a short suit. Whatever. Light green hair pulled into a high ponytail, he had blue tassel earrings dangling down. Oh, great, Varg rubbing in that he’s been to China a million times with other fellow translators. Smear some butter deeper into him while he’s at it, why doesn’t he? Pitch black belly shirt with a brown dog sticking their tongue out, his eyes matched his locks almost exactly. Large hyena spots that looked like freckles decorating his face, the chimera rolled his eyes. Does it look like he’s still rotting in his bed here? He’s on the floor, thanks.

Waddling on the ground on two legs had been a short black dog with a little bowtie and no tail to speak of. How did Varg end up with Halen’s tail? Who knows, who cares? What breed was he? Who knows, and who cares? Rub it in he has a soulcritter while he’s at it! How were Varg and he eight years apart? They may may as well have been born entire centuries apart. Stupid pup looking ready to nibble on his nightgown, he gave Varg a glare. Varg Ingne, thirty two and has a biter dog that can play guitar right alongside him! Get out of his home already, he swears.

[Why are you here, Varg? I don’t need you to come here every single morning!] A page from his communication log exclaimed.

“A sure do! Yer still in yer pajamas!” Varg shouted. “Doesn’t yer boss want ya out tha door by eight thirty? Yer walkin’, aren’t ya?”

“Woof, woof, woof, woof, woof!” Halen shouted.

[Hello, hello, this is your handy, dandy SoulCritter translator here to give you the latest scoop! Halen said, “This lazy slacker gonna wait ’till the last minute to hop out the door! Let’s ditch him and go play guitar! Okaaay, SoulCritter Translator, signing off!]

“I told ya already we ain’t playin’ guitar r’ght now, ya hear?!” Varg shouted. “An’ stop calling my younger bro lazy!”

Pesky little dog nibbling on his nightgown, the young adult stood up from the dumb carpet. Alright, alright, he’s getting up, okay? Can’t his job just go under or something already? That’d be excellent right about now. But, how would he able to afford anything? Sigh. Next question. Not like it’ll ever announce a shutdown anyway. He’s stuck here for life, baby!

[Alright, alright, I’m up! Can Halen stop biting my nightgown already?!] A page from his communication log shouted.

“Halen, hop offa him! How many times I gotta tell ya t’ quit bitin’ on Siorc’s things?” He grit his teeth.

“Woof, woof, woof, woof, woof, woof, woof!” Bark.

[Hello, hello, hello! SoulCritter Translator here. What did Halen say? Well, he said, “His clothes are yummy! Why should I stop?” Okay, SoulCritter translator, signing off!]

“If ya don’t stop nibblin’ on his pyjamers, we ain’t getting t’getha with th’ band tonight!” Varg cried.

Stupid dog whimpering, the young adult tied the teeth hole portion into a tiny knot. Oh, lovely! Look at this beautiful new pit that Halen chewed in here! He ought to start spraying his clothes with anti dog repellent! No, better yet, maybe he should spray this entire house with family repellent! Yeah, right, like that’d ever work in a billion years. No, more like, eight billion, and an entire world reset or something.

[Can you go now? I have to get ready for work!] A page from his communication log shouted.

“I will in a sec,” Varg said, arms crossed. “Yer coming ova for dinner t’night, right?”

[I don’t know, I guess. Can you go now?] A page from his communication log groaned.

“Aigh, A’ll go,” Varg responded, heading off towards the door. “We’re eatin’ at ’round seven. See ya then.”

Slam.

Sigh.

Door slammed shut, the young adult resisted the urge to drown back underneath his covers. Can he just rot at the park instead? That’d be great right about now. Sorry, he can’t attend dinner today, he has a date with rotting somewhere. Or, maybe he’ll go drown in a pool of algae while cleaning another million of those up all day long! Groan. Forget this, he needs to get ready to get out of this joint.

Doing a quick spritzing, the chimera stared at his reflection. Look at him, so pitiful and dull looking. Any duller, and he’ll look like a ghost. Maybe they’ll make that the fourth group of species around these parts when they discover him floating! Not. Whatever, forget all this nonsense, better put on some foundation or whatever. Groan. Reaching for some rubber bands, his long hair had soon been swallowed whole by the fabric of doom.

Hair pulled into two high buns, the young adult rose his hands in the air. He surrenders, or whatever. He is under arrest by employment! Mascara prepped up and ready to go, he clicked hairpins and earrings into place. Matching black cat set on and loaded, he rolled his eyes. As if he’d ever find a black cat of his own. That won’t happen in a billion years. No, scratch that, eight billion years and a world reset. Hyena spots covered, he groaned. He didn’t miss any, did he?

Light green shirt with upside down kittens and yarn all over it in a checkerboard style, the chimera slipped on a knee length dark grey pleaded skirt. Was this work appropriate? Probably not, but whatever. It’s not like the boss is going to say anything anyway. Or, maybe he would. Sigh, well, fire him, while they’re at it, that’d be super amazing. He’ll dip into his savings to pay the bills until he gets another job, thanks.

Trudging off towards the kitchen after fighting with the comb for a what felt like a whole fifteen minutes, the soulcritterless individual gazed at his watch. Looks like he won’t have time to make a meaty breakfast. His stomach is going to die by the end of today, rest in peace. Whatever. Eggs boiled over the stove, he cracked the top off. Joy, here comes the caviar, bleh. Nibbling on the creature, the hyena nearly dropped on the floor as his phone buzzed. He knows, he knows, boss, be out the door in ten minutes! Last yolk nibbled on, he headed off towards his room. Better get his bag or whatever, he guessed.

Bag slung over his shoulder, the soulcritterless individual clapped his hands together. Please, can a meteor crash down onto Fixer Upper Solutions right now and cancel work for the rest of eternity? No? Groan. He may as well go on a trip to Japan and make one! They make those there, right? He saw an anime about that once, he thinks. Gah, forget it, that’s not going to happen! Can an alien invasion happen and take over instead? Yeah, right, that won’t happen either. Sigh, better get going before boss texts him again.

Closing the door behind him, yet another pesky face had soon been glued to him from close by. Walking towards his door with sharp piranha teeth sticking out had been a tall hyena chimera man with short pine green hair pulled into a high ponytail. Dark blue violet eyes looking rather sharp, the fixer upper turned away. Why does he always leave home when Pira’s on apartment complex patrol? Why did he move into this place again? Who knows, who cares? He can’t recall anymore. Brown coat opened, that stupid white shirt with ferrets on it looked straight at him. Little light brown ferret on his shoulder as well, he wanted to bury his head in his shirt. Tch, there’s Walker, too, can they both go bother someone else?

“Good morning, kiddo, heading off to work?” Pira asked.

“Walkies, walkies!” Walker cried.

“We’ll go for a walk later, Walker.” A sigh.

Pesky accursed kiddo coming his way for like the billionth time, the soulcritterless individual rolled his eyes up towards the sky. When will Pira stop calling him that? For crying out loud, he’s going to be twenty five in around eight months! Is he really only twelve years older than him? Sometimes he wonders if he was secretly fifty. Whatever, like he’d ever tell if he was.

[Yes, obviously, I’m going to work, where else would I be going, the moon?] A page from his communication log asked.

“Do you want me to drive you?” Pira asked.

[No! I can walk, alright? Go back to inspecting the empty apartments for squatters!] A page from his communication log shouted.

“If you say, so, kiddo. See you around dinnertime.”

“Walkies, walkies!” Walker cried. “Walker want walkies!”

Turning off towards the sidewalk, the chimera groaned. About time to head for work now, he guessed. Please, don’t let any of his coworkers have their soulcritters with them today!

->

Reaching the outside of Fixer Upper Solutions after about fifteen minutes of walking, the soulcritterless individual stared at his watch. Wow, look at that he’s, golly, two minutes before he has to clock in, blah. Maybe he should run away and come back thirty minutes late instead! Ha. Boss would probably fly around here to look for him. He’s in a glass box, ready to crack.

Tiing, tiing, tiing, beep.

Stupid employee badge tapped onto the dumb card reader, the fixer upper crossed his fingers. Please, don’t let boss or his coworkers have their little scamps with them, pretty please? If they do, sorry, he just remembered, he’s got allergies that last forever, he’s so out of here! Can he be given the pink slip forever?

“Finally showed up, huh?” a tenor voice asked, groaning. “Took you long enough.”

Sitting in the corner bird feet out in the open had been a tall bird chimera man with short light greenish blue hair that had been rather shaggy. Loose strand at the top of his head, he had dark blue fish fins for ears for whatever reason. Hawk wings out and about, his red eyes were staring right into his soul, as usual. Dark maroon button down shirt with a small egg in the corner, the hyena puffed a sigh of relief. Boss Oriole didn’t have his soulcritter with him, thank the heavens.

[Oh, please, boss, I came on time, didn’t I?] A page from his communication log said.

“Sure, you came on time, but do you remember what job we’re handling this week?” Oriole asked, arms crossed.

[Replacing, tuning, and fixing the pipes at the pool in the middle of Demon Junction?] A page from his communication log asked.

“That’s right! And what happens if we’re late in the Demon Junction?” His arms were crossed.

[The demons will summon pepper thunder salts?] A page from his communication log asked.

“That’s right. And you don’t want that to happen, now do you?”

[Why do we have to treat the pools anyway?] A page from his communication log asked.

“What is the name of our business here?!” His tone was annoyed.

[Fixer Upper Solutions?] A page from his communication log responded.

“That’s right, so go get your hat and get ready to hop into the truck, chop, chop!” Clap, clap.

Dragging himself towards the back room, the fixer upper wanted to bury his face into a hood forever. Oh, lovely, going straight to Demon Junction today! Why can’t the demons, he doesn’t know, clean the pools themselves? First off, pool season is going to be over pretty soon, and second, what is the point of installing a new pump when it’s probably going to break again anyway? Whatever, he’s not a demon, who cares? But, yawns soon interrupted his train of thought immediately.

“Pool treating today, can you believe it?” an alto voice asked.

“Oh, I believe it alright!” a slightly deep voice cried. “Boss really has to take every single fixer upper people call him for! Bet if he was told to go tear down the cellphone towers and have us build a new one, he’d make us do that, too!”

Slamming a cupboard closed in the corner had been a tall sheep tiger chimera woman with long black hair pulled into a high ponytail and blonde highlights in the middle of her bangs. Dark red apron draped over her white shirt, her eyes were a mismatched blue and red. Permanent sour look on her face, the chimera puffed a sigh of relief. Rhodette didn’t have that pesky lemur with her today. Please, never bring him here again.

Looking about ready to fly away to parts unknown had been a tall dude with two white moth wings with orange spots, and a set of orange moth wings with black spots. Goat horns on the top of his head, or, maybe they were demon ones, he didn’t know, his pitch black suit looked like it was going to melt into the floor boards. Shiny, short black hair with bronze bangs that were covered in hair gel, the curly locks beneath his pointy ears were almost glittery as well. Let him guess, that dumb unipuppy of Kokon’s did that? Please, don’t let them fly around here today.

[I know, right? Why can’t the demons just do it themselves?] A page from his communication log asked.

“Good morning, Siorc, when did you drop by?” Rhodette asked. “We have to leave in a few minutes, you know!”

[Relax, I’m here, aren’t I? Just me.] A page from his communication log said.

“Are you hinting at what I think you’re hinting at?” Kokon asked.

[No? As if I’ll ever get a soulcritter of my own. Where are yours?] A page from his communication log said.

“You really think I’m going to take Desiree to the pools in Demon Central?” Rhodette asked. “You can forget that!”

“And, you know how Quari gets when we’re near water, or did you forget again?” Kokon asked, arms crossed.

[Whoops, looks like I forgot again, silly me! Do we really have to go over to Demon Junction today? Why couldn’t we have gone to some party hall and helped out with some summer gathering or something?] A page from his communication log asked.

“You’re seriously asking that right now?!” Kokon cried. “Who holds parties anywhere at a time like this?!”

[The humans?] A page from his communication log asked.

“You know the humans host their parties at night,” Rhodette said, shaking her head. “Now, come on, we have to go. Demon junction wants us over there in an hour.”

Honk, honk.

Groan.

Honk, honk.

Stupid horn given another toot, the fixer upper was about ready to rip his hair out. Alright, alright, he’s going, he’s going. Please, don’t let Oriole’s soulcritter be waiting for him in the company van. For once in his life, can there be none anywhere within his vicinity whatsoever? Yeah, right, like that’ll ever happen. He bets Demon Junction will be littered with them also. Ugh. Plopping into the backseat, pesky noise had soon came his way.

“What’s took you three so long to get in here?!” Oriole cried. “You know what happens when we’re late to Demon Junction, don’t you?”

“We know! They’ll throw down their pepper thunder salts!” Kokon cried. “Does it matter? I can make them completely and utterly useless, you know!”

“Your powders don’t do anything!” Rhodette cried.

“They so do!” Kokon exclaimed. “You just haven’t seem them in action yet!”

“Less talking, more seatbelt put oning!” Oriole cried.

Click, click.

Seatbelt plopped down, the fixer upper placed his hand on the side of his cheek. Here comes the most awful, nonsensical job on the market. Seriously, who has chimeras fix the pools in Demon Junction?! Does boss seriously have to take whatever job people give him across Sweden? Tch, he bet if the CEO allowed it, they’d expand their business over to Norway and Finland, too! Sorry, he hasn’t learned Finnish yet! Consider him way too busy rotting to ever so much as consider it! Blah, blah, blah.

Spotting kids hopping across the street with this soulcritters aplenty, the chimera wanted to glue his eyes shut. Oh, wonderful, it’s playtime! Can the children just go back to their classrooms for the rest of the morning and never return? Tch, even seven to eight year old gremlins had theirs already. Guess he’s going to be forever alone, whoopie!

Sky getting a little grey, the chimera crossed his fingers. Please, cancel this entire job for? Forever will do! Come on, rain, drop on down. Drip, drip, drip? Sigh, no? No, he sees. Human hands transforming into hyena paws as he thought such, he placed his hand on the window. And, that kid is going to be thrown into a bubble, and that one, that one, too.

[Current Location: Demon Junction in South Enig, Sweden.]

Watch beeping the hyena held in the urge to groan. Pesky ten o’clock alarm. He swears, his boss must have set that to keep him on his toes! He shouldn’t have ever given him the master key to throw schedules into that thing. Hmph, whatever, not like he can revoke it even if he tried, groan. First pool glaring at him, he gulped. Is there red mist in the air? Sure looks like there might be.

“Remember, be nice to the demons,” Oriole commanded in a serious tone. “You know what happens if we’re not.”

“Yes, yes, we know! They’ll sprinkle down the pepper thunder salts!” Kokon shouted. “You think we don’t have brains in our heads or something?”

“Sometimes, I think you lot don’t! Now, let’s go to the meeting room and say hello.” There was a hint of sarcasm in his voice.

Ugh.

Hopping out of the company truck, the hyena crossed his currently human fingers. Please, don’t let the demons give him any funny looks! He knows they can smell people who don’t have soulcritters, but don’t call it out, okay? He knows he’s a pathetic excuse, but keep their craws to themselves about it, thanks. Meeting room soon reached, he gulped. Don’t say anything. Don’t say anything, don’t say anything about you know what.

“You finally decided to show your sorry faces around here!” a strong, imposing voice shouted. “You’re all just asking me to clap down some pepper thunder salts down, aren’t you?”

“Heh, heh, heh!” a dark purple heart winged bat creature cried.

[Hello, hello, it’s me again, your friendly good old SoulCritter translator! What did our bat critter say just now? They said, “Look at the pieces of scum, they’re scared!” Okay, translator, signing out!]

“Oh, Heartykins, they should be scared of us!” the demon at the counter cried.

Dark green haired horned man with bat wings behind the counter stroking his soulcritter’s cheek, the fixer upper grit his teeth. Oh, awesome, there it is, their soulcritter. Reading the demon’s name tag, he sighed. Olympusa. Do they even know what they name means without the a attached? No, of course they don’t. Whatever, better scribble down a quick apology, blah.

[We’re sorry if we didn’t show up twenty minutes early. Traffic was pretty bad on the way here! We’ll drain the pools of their dirty water and fill them up at half the price you normally would pay if it’ll make up for our tardiness!] A page from his communication log shouted.

“Sniff, sniff, is that soulcritterless I smell?” Olympusa asked. ”Is that a soulcritterless I smell?”

“Hehe he he he!” Heartykins cried.

[Hello, hello, it’s me again, the SoulCritters Translator. What did our buddy say just now? Well, look no further! They said, “Look at this loser who’s soulcritterless! Pay him only one quarter of what we normally would! Soulcritter Translator, signing off!]

“No, you must be mistaken!” Kokon cried, eyes wandering. “We left our bunch home today!”

“Yeah, yeah, that’s right! We uh, didn’t want them falling into the pool!” Rhodette shouted. “You know, danger and stuff?”

“Oh, really now?” Olympusa asked, eyebrow rose. “Okay, maybe I believe you. Now, go drain the pool and install the pump in the closet, chop, chop! The kids are coming by early today!”

“You heard him, go!” Oriole cried, snapping his fingers.

Finger snap coming his way, the young adult made a run for it. Ugh, can this day just rot already? Better yet, can it sink to the bottom of the ocean? That would be awesome right about now! No? Well, whatever. Running towards the closet, the chimera stared at every nook and cranny. Where’s the button to turn the equipment off again? Oh, right, it’s over here, sigh. Here goes nothing, he guessed. Or, here goes everything? Who knows.

Staring at the old pump in the corner, the chimera groaned. Why does that thing look like it’s extremely close to fall apart and unleashing monsters out into the open? He doesn’t know. Maybe it’s holding dangerous gases that’ll implode the entire world! Don’t demons swim in lakes full of acid sometimes? Probably. At least, he heard that once. Maybe.

Water dying a miserable death, the young adult’s eyebrows twitched. Oh, great, look at all that disgusting debris! What are the demons keeping down here, a leaf collection? Better get to cleaning the pits of the underworld right about now before it’s too late, sigh. Swimming pool brush out, he hopped towards the bottom. Please, don’t let the pipes need to be cleaned too.

“Man, this pool is dirty, maybe I should have brought Quari with me after all,” Kokon sighed.

“You really think Quari can use that horn of theirs and make all the dirty gunk go away?” Rhodette asked, lowering her eyes into a squint.

“Point taken.” A shrug. He then turned towards Siorc. “Siorc, how’s you end going?”

[There’s leaves everywhere! They’re in the pipes, too!] An electronic voice shouted through his smartwatch.

“Ugh,” Rhodette cried. “Seriously?! Do the demons even maintain their pools?”

“You really want to know the answer to that question?” Kokon groaned.

“Guess not. Well, let’s scrub this clean then install the new pump so we can fill this thing.”

Every single nook and cranny swept away after who knows how long it was, the fixer upper groaned. Install the new pump this, seriously, why couldn’t the demons have done this themselves?! Party of three hauling the old one off into the truck, the shiny new one was soon in its place. Blah, blah, blah, go get the hose and fill up the pool! That demon had better not come out of their hole to say that right about now.

Checking the pipes one last time, the fixer upper wanted to burn his brains straight out of his head. Just how much junk was in these things? Better treat these before filling this thing with water. Demons, he swears, they’re getting on his last? Never mind, he doesn’t have any nerves left to give them, they already got on the last one hours ago!

Summer fun monster soon filled, it was off to the next dungeon, excuse him, pool center within Demon Junction. Winged fiends sniffing him, the soulcritterless individual was ready to blow a gasket. Stop, stop, stop the noise! Whatever, work with a smile, giggle! Multiple pipes busted, he resisted the urge to push himself into the dirty pool. Someone, end all of this right now before he does it!

Five looming around, the chimera sighed. He’s not going home on time today, is he? May as well just forget having dinner tonight. Whatever. Conundrums taking over multiple places, screams had launched themselves up to the sky. Who keeps their fish soulcritters in the local pool?! Demons, he swears, they just adore doing whatever they want however they choose!

Final pool done and dusted, the party of four returned to the truck of doom. Back at Fixer Upper Solutions, he gazed at his watch. Groan, it’s almost six. Can he just swipe his badge out for the rest of eternity? No? Of course not. Those bills are going to drown him with overdue fees if that happens, sigh. Putting his hat back into his box, boss flew towards him.

“Good work today, goodnight,” Oriole said, bidding farewell.

[Goodnight. See you the day after tomorrow.] A page from his communication log said.

Slam.

Exiting the prison, excuse him, headquarters, the young adult trudged off towards the park. Plopping himself down on the swing, he stared off into space. Another day, another day to rot. Dropping himself down on the grass beneath him, he closed his eyes. Perhaps he’ll live at this park instead, zzz. Bye, don’t wake him.

->

[Current Location: Sticky Park in Enig Sweden at around nineteen thirty six o’clock.]

Blinking awake, the fixer upper rubbed his eyes. Did he hear a familiar voice just now? Looking up, the young adult groaned. Ugh, what’s Pira doing here? Can’t he see he’s trying to rot here? What time is it? Oh, close to eight, whatever. Sigh. How did he even find him here? Who knows, who cares?

“Kiddo, let’s go home, everyone’s waiting for you,” Pira said in a quiet voice.

“Dinner almost coldie!” Walker shouted.

[No, let me just rot here.] An electronic voice said through his smartwatch.

“You can’t sleep at the park like this, what if someone finds you and takes you in for questioning?” Pira asked.

Remaining on the ground, the young adult sighed. Can’t he just rot here forever? He’ll even buy a tent and hide by a bush! Camping, woohoo! Camping out here for all eternity! No job, no bills, no soulcritters to get in his way. Just, bush, bush, bush. Bush all the way, baby! Just let him sit here, it’s not like it matters if he’s at the dinner table.

[I think I’ll move into the park, thanks. Let me rot here.] An electronic voice said through his Smartwatch.

“No can do, kiddo,” Pira said, shaking his head. “If mother and father heard you type that, they’d have a heart attack. Let’s go home.”

[It’s not like they’ll ever be returning from Russia, so who cares what they think?!] An electronic voice shouted through his smartwatch. But, a sigh had come his way.

“Look, kiddo, I know that job of yours puts you through the wringer, but, you have a nice warm apartment waiting for you. So, let’s go.” His voice was stern.

Ugh.

He just can’t win, can he?

Lifting himself up from the crunchy grass beneath him, the chimera rolled his eyes. Whatever, fine, he’ll go back home, but if Natalie and Coiote yap about their soulcritters, he’s excusing himself forever! Dragged off towards the pesky Property Manager ritzy dining room, he turned his head off towards the window. He’s here, can he go back home now so he can rot?

“Did ya manage to find him?” Varg asked.

“Woof, woof, woof!” Halen shouted.

[Hi, hi, your fellow SoulCritter Translator here, what did Halen say just now? Why, he said, “Little lazy loser probably rotting at a park somewhere!” Okay, Soulcritter Translator out, peace! Gonna grab a bite to eat!]

“Varg, can you please tell your darling Halen over there to watch his mouth?” A tenor, but gentle, feminine voice asked.

“Wan, wan!” A poodle barked.

[Hi, hi, your fellow SoulCritter Translator here. What did that poodle say just now? Well, she said, “Yeah, simmer down!” Okay, SoulCritter Translator out, peace!]

“There he is!” An alto voice said. “What kept you, Siorc?”

“Working, Swork was working!” a little monkey cried.

“Well, yes, we know that, but not this late, Soiree.” A headshake.

Petting a little pink poodle in the corner of the room had been a tall, feminine hyena chimera with light purple hair pulled into a large side bun. One singular heart shaped earring on their left ear, they had violet paws with claws. Dress the same shade as her hair, on the side had been a sewed on poodle patch. As usual, Natalie has to incorporate little Opalene into every aspect her brand. Whatever. How was she ten years older than him? He’ll never have the answer to that question.

Sitting at the main chair in the middle of the dining room had been a short hyena chimera woman close to forty. Excuse him, a young spry lady who definitely was almost thirty. So, ridiculous, he swears. Why does Coiote care so much about a number? Light purple hair a curly mess, her ponytail looked like it could use a million years of brushing. Brownish red shirt cut at the bottom with a tiny monkey in the center, her eyes were the same color as her locks. Teeny monkey with dark chestnut fur next to her, he rolled his eyes. Oh, look, it’s Soiree! The shopaholic! He’s surprised these two could make it!

[It’s not like I came here by choice, just saying.] A page from his communication log said.

“Let me guess, tough day on the job again?” Coiote asked.

“Swork’s job toughie!” Soiree cried.

“It very much is, I’d say.” She sighed. “I’ll heat up the stew.”

Meaty stew placed in front of him, the young adult attempted to wolf it down as fast as he could muster. Well, that was tasty better return home! Ha ha, as if he could leave before everyone else is done. Blah, blah, don’t be a party pooper, or whatever. He knows, okay? Maybe, anyway. Can he rot in his bed now forever?

“So, how’s the boutique goin’, Nats?” Varg asked. “Anyone buy any dresses fer their soulcritters?”

“Going pretty good, why, I think we might sell out on our soulcritter fits pretty soon, actually!” Natalie cried. “Right, Opalene?”

“Wan, wan!” Opalene cried.

[Hi, hi, SoulCritter Translator here! What did Opalene say? She said, “Business booming!” Okay, bye, bye!]

“So, how’s your job going, dearie?” Natalie asked Varg.

“Oh, ya know, demons and humans always askin’ me to translate this and that,” Varg said, shrugging. “Is yer mall doin’ aight, Coiote?”

“Going okay, though, Soiree wants to buy out the entire store,” Coiote sighed.

“More clothes!!” Soiree shouted.

“You can have two treats per month, alright?” Coiote groaned. She then turned towards Siorc. “So, Siorc, how’s the fixer upper business going?”

Pesky question coming his way, the chimera pushed his plate away from him. Sorry, he just remembered, he has to go rot in his apartment right about now! Can he go? No? Sigh. Whatever, scribbling away, his pen almost snapped in half. Why waste their time asking such a pesky question? She knows the answer already!

[You know how it’s going. The same as always.] A page from his communication log responded.

“Dear, what do you mean by the same as always?” Natalie asked.

“Jobbie go boomie!” Walker cried.

“Walker? We have talked about this many times, we do not say boomie at the dinner table,” Pira said, sighing. “Let’s stop asking him questions for now.” He then stepped up from the table. “I’ll take you back to your apartment kiddo.”

[No need, excuse me.] A page from his communication log responded.

“Ah, dearie, wait, before you go, we need you to go to the meat market tomorrow, is that okay with you?” Natalie asked.

[Fine, whatever, I’ll go. Goodnight.] A page from his communication log responded.

Slam.

Dragging himself back to his apartment, the chimera plopped himself face first onto his bed. Ugh, why did he move into this stupid apartment complex in the first place? He should have just gone to Russia with mother and father after he graduated from school. Whatever, too late for that now. Television turned on, he glued his eyes to the thing until he dozed off.

Ring, ring, ring, ring.

Alarm blasting through him off towards the early afternoon, the fixer upper groaned. Does he have to get out of bed? Can’t he just rot here? A million texts racing his way to remember to go to the meat market, the hyena let out a scream. Alright, whatever, he’ll go! Light purple dress with black cat heads on it, his tail twitched from behind him. Oh, great, it’s a scorcher out there, isn’t it?

[Current Location: The Meat Market in Central Enig, Sweden.]

Mrow, mrow, mrow, mrow.

Hearing a mewing somewhere close by, the young adult shook his head. What, is it kitty alley day or something? Ha, forget it, he’d better enter the store before Natalie texts him a thousand more times or something. Aisles filled to the brim with humans and their accursed soulcritters, he resisted the urge to put ton a blindfold. Go away, just, fade into the sand!

Staring at the sausages, the chimera placed his finger on his chin. Was this enough for the five of them? Excuse him, nine of them? No, he’s going to have to buy six whole packages, isn’t he? Groan. Cart soon filled, he placed his hand behind his ear. Why does those meows sound like they’re waiting for him? Forget it, keep shopping and focus.

Checklist three quarters of the way done, the young adult tried to not pull his hair out. Can whatever is meowing shut their mouth? He’s trying to shop here! Sigh, how much more does he have to get? Oh, right a couple of duck steaks, or whatever. Better get them and hit the road. Many plopped down into the basket, he raced off towards checkout. Creatures plopped down into the bags, he raced out of that joint. Whelp, time to go home, he guessed.

Mrow, mrow, mrow mrow.

Mrow, mrow, mrow!

Groan.

Meows getting louder, the chimera groaned. Alright, fine, he’ll go see what’s up, alright? Quit mewing! Trudging off towards an alleyway, a sight to behold soon caught his attention in the corner. Large box with the words take me home crudely drawn on it, he soon peered down at the contents from within it.

Mrow, mrow, mrow!

Oh.

Wait a second.

Cut. Is that?!

Sitting in the box had been an awfully small male back cat with huge lavender eyes like no other. Circular eyebrows above him, his top paws looked like they were meant to be hands. Skinny body with three pawed feet beneath it, a spark popped through him. Wait a second, hold on, this cat doesn’t have a tail! Could this mean?

“Mrow, mrow, mrowwwwwww!” the cat cried.

[Hi, hi, hello there, your friendly neighborhood SoulCritter Translator here. What did this poor, poor, unnamed Black Cat say just now? Well, he said, “You have my tail!” Okay, gotta dash!]

Tears streaming down his face, the world was ready to flood. Wait a second, did this thing just say he has his tail? No, he didn’t right? He had to have been mistaken. Little kitty looking like he hadn’t eaten in who knows how long, his heart fluttered. What is this spark he’s feeling? Could it be, he’s the one? No, that couldn’t be it, right?

“Mrow, mrow, mroooooooooooow, mrooooooooooooooow!” the black cat shouted.

[Hi again, it’s me, the SoulCritter Translator. What did our friend here say just now? Well, he said, “Please, take me home! You have my tail!” Okay, I’m off, buh bye!]

Opening up the empty shopping bag, the chimera ducked down. Should he really be doing this? Maybe he didn’t find the one after all? How is he supposed to know if he did?! Ugh, whatever. There’s no time for questions, any second now, and it’s going to rain. Tapping his smartwatch, he crossed his fingers.

[Come on, get into the bag.] An electronic voice said through his smartwatch.

"Mrow, mrow!” The black cat cried.

[SoulCritter Translator here! What did the Black Cat say, well he said, “It’s mine now!” Well, bye bye!]

Black cat hopping into the bag, the hyena closed his eyes. This little fella could use a bowtie, maybe. Ugh, no time to think about that! He has to head home now! Running back towards the apartment complex, he quickly dropped the meat off at the property manager building. Dragging himself back to his own, he plopped the kitty down onto his bed. Staring off into space, questions flowed through him.

So, he has a soulcritter now, maybe.

Why does he feel like there’s something strange about this fella?

Agh, no, come on be happy about something for once in his life!