What is your opinion?
Creepy as hell (in a good way)!
"WELL DONE! I was reading this at work, squirming at my desk towards the end. The plot and pacing were just right and your descriptions were perfect. I could picture it all in my head, as if I were watching it on TV. A few technical things here and there. The combination of dialect spelling and first-person perspective was a little jarring at first, but I adjusted to it by the end as you seemed to become more comfortable with it. There were also two typos that I noticed: - The sentence that starts "I consulted the clipboard again as I asked Miss [...]" has a typo at the end ("pack porch" instead of "back porch"). - "I writhed, but the shot of whatever I'd been given me fought [...]" - remove the "me." Overall this was great. Good luck in the contest!"
A neat little story
"I think one of the strongest aspect's of this story is how everything ties in together. The foreshadowing of the crow video and how it ties into the ending. The exterminator's knowledge and how it aided him. The orange peels and the man with the yellow teeth's childhood trauma. Everything tied together neatly and made a well rounded story. The only issue I had was the coworker's reaction. If he knew what was happening, which seems implied since he and the woman have the same reaction of avoiding the main character's glance. Why send someone to die? Why not refuse to send anybody? And if exterminators disappeared before and the yellow teeth man wasn't caught, how did the coworker know to be scared? That was the only part that didn't click for me."
