All Cole, In The Hole: The Man Who Accidentally In

In the year 1437, or maybe 1473, nobody wrote it down properly, there lived a man named Cole. He had no job. He had a hat. He walked around his village telling people, "I'm all in," and nobody ever found out what he was all in on.

One morning Cole was walking and said out loud, "I feel like something is about to happen." Then the ground disappeared, which was the something. He fell straight down into a hole and landed on a barrel, which was weird, because who leaves a barrel in a hole?

Cole sat there for nine days. The first day he cried. The second day he negotiated with the dirt. By the third day he looked at the barrel, and the barrel looked back, and that's when science started.

He drank it. His face went warm, his ears went loud, and he said, "Wow. My feet are talking." His feet had opinions. They told him to stand up, turn left, and stop trusting the dirt. Cole listened, because that was the best advice he'd gotten all year.

When he finally climbed out, the whole village was waiting. The mayor asked, "Cole, where were you? What was down there?" Cole stood tall, wiped his mouth, and said, "All Cole... in the hole."

The villagers heard "Alkohol" and gasped. Someone started a rumor. Someone else wrote it down wrong. A man named Gerald took credit for it by Thursday.

Cole never complained. He just went back to his hat, his village, and his mystery. Today there is a statue of him, but it's only a hole, and people throw coins into it. Nobody knows why. They just feel something.