Chapter 1
Whether you realize it or not everyone wants to hide something. I guess that’s how it normally starts. You don’t notice it or choose to ignore it. Either way sooner or later it might become permanent. How it starts is different for everyone. You’re your own person, but what you experience then it will make you who you are today. For me it started when I was a little kid. My parents kept telling me not to let others walk over me. They kept telling me to not be a pushover. It may not have been those exact words but it was something similar. They drilled it into me.
Slowly, I started to smile or laugh all the time. The smile on my face never flattering. Never once did it waver. My facade became me, and I my facade. I stopped feeling emotions. I forgot what true happiness felt like. All that those emotions I remembered became a faint memory. Overtime I became a master of my cover up. Everyone over looked me. Never once did it cross their minds that I wasn’t like them.
Sure there are others like me, using a cover up. So they won’t feel the pain they felt before. People cope in different ways. For me it was slap a smile on my face and don’t cry. Don’t let them see through your cover up. For the people like me only they can see through my facade or cover up. Only they can sense my closed off vibe, that others don’t notice.
“Hey Emma come join us for lunch.” Amaya says.
I put a smile on my face and answer,” Maybe another day.”
Catherine says to Amaya,” Told you she would say no we’re the weirdos remember.”
Amaya shakes her head about to answer when the bell rings telling us it’s time to go inside. Pasturing a smile on my face I go inside and grab my lunch getting ready to sit in the library eating by myself. As I pass by I notice a few girls in my class talking. I internally sigh. Catching a few words here and there.
God……….hate………….Her……………..Emma?
I shake my head and ignore them and smile at them warmly as I pass. They instantly smile back and wave. With that I take myself to the library. That’s me. They hate me and Amaya and her friends are okay to me. I take my phone out and scroll through my contacts. Even though I don’t have any friends I do have almost everyone’s phone number.
I smile at the librarian as I pass and sit down in the corner table. The only people who seem to like me are my teachers and the librarian. As well as my parents. Probably having something to do with me being a straight A student. Most likely every adult I meet as well.
I quickly eat my lunch and throw the remains in the trash. I pick a book, check it out and sit in the corner table reading, until the bell rings signaling the beginning of the 5 minute break to grab everything you need for the next class. I stand up grabbing the book, I head towards art class. Needing nothing since today we start painting on a canvas. The teacher will be supplying everything.
