Prologue
“I have told you these things so that in me you may have peace. In the world you have trouble and suffering, but take courage – I have conquered the world.”
John 16:33
Fear is a place that no one wants to go, in fact it is the worst place to be no matter who you are. I remember so many nights, eyeing suspiciously the dark shadows that lined my walls reflecting the silhouettes of old rickety trees outside my bedroom window. Without warning and even as I watched, they would turn into hairy beasts with fangs and large claws reaching for me as soon as the lights went out.
I have to hand it to my parents, they certainly tried their best to calm my fears. Mom was great at storytelling, she would come in hearing my cries for help and would tell me fantastic stories of guardian warriors who fought off monsters while we were asleep. “They can’t come out till you are asleep though dear” she would say, hoping to get me to comply and close my eyes. Truth be told, listening to her recount how giant warriors with six foot swords flashing silver and gold across the sky sending the scary beasts running with their tail between their legs; was enough to calm my fears so that I would close my eyes just to listen to her tell them. Her voice went gentle and soft, like a velvet blanket wrapped around me when she spoke and before I knew it I would be in dreamland. My Dad on the other hand was more of a realist and would often try and get me to see reason. He would show me scientific articles of how the mind works, suggesting I keep a journal as an outlet for my thoughts from the day. He often would come in my room with an “I told you so” tone, instructing me to simply stop watching T.V and snacking before bed as though that would be a miracle cure.
As I grew older though, the monsters morphed from shadow beasts into much more real things like the school bully and that nasty pimple growing on the end of my nose. People tell me that those are nothing compared to the fears I will face when I get out into what they call “the real world”. Still, they are pretty horrible anyway.
I hated being afraid, but that was before I understood the truth.
Think of it, if you had no fear, I mean absolutely no fear at all, wouldn’t you live life differently? It takes something extraordinary to conquer fear like that, something so huge it will make you face even death to conquer it.
I had such a moment once, I’d swear it’s true but you wouldn’t believe me anyway. It’s a truth so real in fact that you will want to think it’s a fairytale just so you can feel like all is right in your little world. Whether you believe it or not, it is true and truth doesn’t care if you believe, it just is. I’ll tell you the story, don’t blame me if you don’t want to believe me, you can’t tell me I didn’t warn you; but you should believe me.
It started when I was fourteen years old, and I’ll tell you it’s one of those moments in a person’s life that makes you who you are for the rest of your life. I just wish it didn’t have to happen the way it did.
