Chapter 1

Dear Eun Ae and Dae-Ho,

I don’t belong here.

Shit, you don’t even deserve this note for the things you’ve done to me, but maybe once you read this --If you even do-- you’ll realize what you’ve done.

You’ve killed your own son.

The only thing you both do all day is drink, come home and then start beating me. I don’t do anything to you, ever.

I go to school, study hard, and get good grades. I do everything around the house for myself and work. I pay most of these bills for us because you guys are too drunk to do so.

I’ve been on my own in this house since I was young. You guys enjoyed me and took care of me until I could walk, talk and do things myself.

You both don’t deserve the honor to be called Mom and Dad.

You both haven’t since the day you started beating me.

First it was Dae-Ho who did the beating and Eun Ae watched. Then once he got sick of doing the beatings Eun Ae started it and he watched. As much as I struggled it would never help. I fought back but never won.

I’ve done self-harm for the past 10 years. I’m surprised I’ve taken both of your guys’ shit this long. I cut myself thinking that it would be my only escape, but that’s because I was too scared to kill myself.

Well guess what. Now I’m not. I’m 17 now, and life doesn’t have a purpose for me anymore. My purpose died the day I was born. Family left once you started drinking, but they wouldn’t take me. I’ve always wondered why. But now I know the answer.

Nobody wants a fucked up kid.

Don’t worry, I’ll do the work for you, and you can be happy again. If true happiness ever even existed in your life in the first place.

I’m leaving tonight to do it. I at least want to be somewhere other than here when I die. I want out of this hell that people call life.

It doesn’t have a plan for me anymore. I was a bad fruit, and I’m shriveling up more and more each day.

Nobody will notice I’m gone, not even you until you find this note.

It’s time for me to say goodbye now.

-Kim Taehyung