Being a Popular Nerd

I can’t lie and say that I love moving because I hate it, but in this case moving is actually actually beneficial to me. I had to move in with my dad and my stepmom to go to Chesterfield Academy for Talented and Gifted Students. Chesterfield has been my dream school for a while, but I wasn’t able to attend it in 9th grade because of my lack of community service. Finally, two years later, I’ve done enough community service in and out of school to attend.

I already miss my mom, she has always been there for me. But with her we always moved because we were always unstable. There was never enough money around and my dad, well ... he didn’t do much about it. And now he wants to enter my life and act like nothing ever happened.

It’s so irritating, but at the same time it’s a good thing because without him we’d have to move again and I’m not sure that my mom would’ve been able to afford living in Cali. My new home is a mansion with eight rooms and it makes me question why my father never sent my mom money if he had so much of it.

So I’m pretty much pissed, but I’m also kind of excited. Tomorrow’s the first day of school and I need an outfit to look cute, so I’ll go shopping today. Shopping always has a way of cheering me up. I don’t know what it is. It just makes me feel happy to forget about everything in life and just explore fashion.

Fashion is a mystical world to me. I love the colors, the accessories, the prints, the embroidery, everything. And that’s why when my dad told me he wanted me to spend time with him and his wife, I raced to the local mall.

I’ve only met his wife once, when I was younger. She acted sweet and nice, but I could see the hatred and anger behind that sweet and vulnerable cover. My mom had told me why my dad’s wife was like that. My dad’s wife and my mom were best friends, but when my dad cheated on my mom with her best friend, their relationship was destroyed.

My dad’s wife has two daughters, one is my age (16) and the other is 13. Now that I think about it, I don’t even know any of their names. All I know is that I hate her for breaking the perfect family I should’ve had. Another reason that I couldn’t stand her is that she calls me by my first name, Haven.

My friends at my old school in New York use to joke that Haven (my first name) was my white name and Leilani (my middle name) was my black name. Although I don’t look like it, I’m biracial.

My dad is Spanish and French. His dad was born in France and his mom in Spain. That is why my last name is Blanche, which means white in French. He suggested Haven as my first name and rumor has it that the suggestion was his wife’s idea. No wonder she likes to call me that.

My mom is almost midnight black and Kenyan, so mixing that with my dad’s tanned skin, you get me, a milky chocolate. My mom gave me the name Leilani and since my dad was never in the picture, everyone called me by the name my mom gave me.

I grew up hating being called Haven because it always reminded me of how my dad had been cheating on my mom with her best friend since I was in the womb. And that same fake best friend was married to my dad today.

No matter how often I told my dad and his wife to call me Leilani, they ignored it and called me Haven. I hated the name. Who names their child that?

But living with my dad did have its perks. It meant I wouldn’t have to budget to shop anymore or work to make my own money for my needs (my mom’s salary was never enough.) It also meant I got my first car, a red Lamborghini. I wasn’t up for expensive cars, but after 16 years without much luxury (except for my sweet sixteen birthday party 😁) I was excited for some fun and expensive things.

I grabbed my purse and ran inside the mall to my favorite store, Forever 21. For the first time ever, I’d have a huge shopping haul without running out of money. I was going to look at some dresses and I passed the small men’s section. I heard loud whistles and I already knew they were for me. I ignored them. Perhaps my outfit showed too much. I was wearing a red low cut ribbed crop top with black distressed shorts and red converse.

I kept walking until I felt a firm arm grab me and pull me towards them. The touch felt familiar and so did the cologne. I turned to see my cousin, Lance. I smiled, happy to see him until I noticed that he wasn’t alone. He was with a girl and two boys. One of those boys happened to be my ex, Trevor, who cheated on me twice. I tried to stare Trevor in the eye, but he avoided my eyes.

“Hey cuz!” Lance exclaimed, giving me a hug.

“Hi Lance!” I grinned, hugging him back.

“These are my friends, Talia,” he said pointing to the girl, “DeMarco,” he said pointing to the the second guy, “And ...”

“Trevor,” I finished.

“You guys know each other?” He looked from me to Trevor.

“That’s great,” Lance said.

If only he knew.

Trevor simply said, “Yeah man. We use to go the same school in New York. ”

Yet he didn’t bother to say, “She’s my ex and I cheated on her twice. She hates me and I know it.”

DeMarco looked me up and down. Then he finally asked, “So are you the Leilani?”

“Um yes.”

“How did you know my name was Leilani?”

“We’ve heard a lot about you,” Talia said, “Plus I also went to the same school as you in New York.”

Suddenly, the kind look on her face looked possessive. I could see she no longer liked me after realizing who I was. What could Trevor have possibly told them? Lance would probably tell me later.

“You go by your middle name now?” Lance asked.

He was my cousin on my dad’s side of the family so like my dad, I hardly saw him and he knew me as Haven. He looked so different from the last time I saw him when we were 10. He now had muscles and whiskers were starting to show in his chin and above his lips.

“Yes.”

“Will you be Haven at school?”

“I don’t know yet.”

I turned to face the others.

“Um nice meeting you guys,” I said to Talia and DeMarco.

“Bye Lance,” I said and ignored Trevor.

I started walking away, but I stopped in my tracks when Trevor said, “Hey Leilani, I go by Trey now, not Trevor and I promise you I’ve changed. Don’t forget that.”

I kept walking until I was on the second floor of Forever 21 and they were far from sight. I took a deep breath and tried to stop the tears threatening to fall down my eyes. Trevor. I’d seen Trevor again. I reached for the picture that was always hidden in a secret compartment of my wallet. It reminded me of why Trevor and I ended. He wasn’t worth crying over.

When I turned around, Lance was behind me. He wrapped me in his arms.

“I’m so sorry, Have. He finally told us he cheated on you twice. We didn’t know,” he said.

“Are you mad at him?” I asked, blinking back tears.

“Just a little.”

I pulled away.

“Why?”

“We’ve heard his side of the story and we understand why he did it. If you’d just listen to him ...”

“Who’s side are you on?! His or mine?” I cried.

“Haven ...”

“Stop calling me that! I hate that name! I need time!” I blurted, then I left all the clothes I had been going to buy and left the store. I needed to shop somewhere where they were not. Thank they wouldn’t be going to the same school as me.

As I walked to H&M, I finally realized how stupid I must’ve sounded at Forever21. “I need time!” It’s been a year, why do I still care? I took out the hidden photo from my wallet. It reminded me why. No matter what, he could never find out what the photo meant and why it pertained him.

As soon as I entered H&M, I no longer felt like shopping. I needed to have fun. I had some old friends from visiting my dad when I was younger. We’d stayed in contact through Snapchat, WhatsApp, Google Hangouts, Instagram, iMessage and FaceTime. They knew about Trevor and I needed a girl’s night out. I raced to Papaya to get a smoking dress. I always loved their dresses. Tonight I’d forget all the shit in the world.

A few hours after the mall incident, I was at Monica’s house getting ready to go to a back to school party. Her boyfriend, Caleb DeMarco was throwing a huge party and his parents weren’t home. I had told my dad that I’d be having a sleepover at Monica’s so he wouldn’t get suspicious. Monica was one of my cousins from my mom’s side so she was dark chocolate like my mom.

I’d chosen a halter yellow bodycon dress with nude colored heels and orange nudish lipstick. Monica had wanted me to put on more makeup, but I never put on a lot of makeup. I like my looks to be more natural. I shaped my edges and baby hair with Vaseline and pulled my naturally curly black hair into a messy bun. I also decided to ditch my glasses for contacts.

Monica looked hot in a pink off the shoulder crop top with a faux leather mini skirt and gold studded black boots. She also had golden bangles on her ears and hands while I’d put on diamond stud earrings and my new rose gold watch. Her black and purple box braids were in a high ponytail.

When we got to Caleb’s, the party was in full swing. Caleb opened the door for us and was happy to see Monica. I instantly realized that the boy she’d known as Caleb looked like the same boy that was with Lance at Forever21 who’d been called DeMarco.

He wrapped his arms around her like a blanket and kissed her. When their kiss was over she looked up at him with a grin. She finally introduced me and we entered the DeMarco mansion. I asked her why she didn’t call him DeMarco.

“Only his friends call him DeMarco and we’re more then friends. For short, I call him Lebi,” she explained.

I nodded in approval. She left to talk to Caleb and I felt as lonely as a wounded bird on one of the many couches. I didn’t know anyone here. I finished my drink and finally got the courage to go to the dance floor, which was really outside.

I danced and shook my hips like no one was watching. I wasn’t the best dancer, but I didn’t care. A pair of arms slid around my waist and I glanced up to see DeMarco. Shocked, I pulled away. I looked for Monica and I saw her with another guy that looked almost exactly like DeMarco.

I walked up to her and demanded for her to explain.

“Well,” she said, “There are 3 DeMarcos, Lebi,” she pointed to her boyfriend, Felix whom you met at the mall , ” and Amanuel whom you just met on the dance floor. They’re triplets.”

Oh God! How do I tell them apart?!Monica must’ve read my mind because she answered my question.

“You can tell them apart because Lebi is more handsome and Amanuel has a tattoo on the side of his neck and one of his biceps and Felix has a voice that doesn’t sound as similar as Lebi and Amanuel’s.”

“So which one goes by DeMarco?” I asked.

“We all do,” Amanuel started.

“But Felix is called DeMarco the most often,” Lebi finished.

Lebi added, “Felix. He’s the DeMarco that your friend met at the mall. We all look alike, but you’ll learn to tell the difference between us.”

Then he continued kissing Monica.

“Get a room,” I told them.

I heard them laugh as I rolled my eyes.

Amanuel walked me back onto the dance floor and I felt free as I danced with him. He thought me some Latino dance steps and told me he’d show me more later. Amanuel was so sweet and handsome and ... sexy. He was perfect.

When a slow song played and he put his arms on my waist, I felt my heart beat faster. I laid my head on his shoulder and it felt great and until someone tapped Amanuel on the shoulder and told him the keg needed a refill. I looked up and saw the person was Trevor. His face was stoic.

“I need to talk to you,” he said, “now.”

He didn’t wait for a response. He grabbed my hand and pulled me into the house and up the stairs.

“What is it?” I asked.

“I told my friends the truth about us and even how I cheated on you so I don’t need you tell everyone about us. You’ll just make me look bad and I can’t let that happen. Especially after I let you ruin me once,” he declared.

I knew what he meant by “ruin me once.”

His breath was hot on mine, yet it made me shiver with anticipation. I moaned as he hands traveled lower down my body to my legs. Our kisses had intensified and I was melting. He’d been begging me for this for a month and I knew that I was ready for it. He’d had it with all his other girlfriends. He’d have it with me again, but this time he wouldn’t be doing it while drunk like the first time he did it with me. I’d been waiting for this moment ever since our huge fight last month. Then he stopped.

“Babe, I’ve got to tell you something.”

That you love me, I thought.

“I’m sorry. ”

He wouldn’t look at me. What’s happening. He’d turn me on just to turn me off. He stared at the bed.

“Last month, we weren’t talking so I was really depressed and sad. And you know Roxanna. I’ve known her forever and she helped me a lot. We ended up in bed one of those days, but afterwards she got back with Roscoe. So I went to Nivea instead. I’m sorry.”

I was shocked. He cheated on me with two girls. Roxanna was my neighbor and Nivea was my best friend since the age of 5. How could they?

“We weren’t together for a month. Things happen in that period. I can’t do this anymore. You ruined and hurt me. This has to end. Now. This is over. I’m sorry. Leilani ...”

I grabbed my shirt and I ran to the park and called my dad because he could help and my mom couldn’t. I stayed away with him 4 months later and came back for 10th grade. By that time Trevor had already moved away. What we had in 9th grade was gone.

But I tried to ignore it.

“Don’t worry I won’t ruin you,” I shot back, “But that doesn’t give you the right to tell me not to tell anyone about us. You were my first and I don’t care if it makes you look bad. You deserve it. ”

“Is this still about Roxanna and Nivea? Gosh that’s so old. Things happen in a month. You’re so immature. That’s one of the reasons I broke up with you. If I hadn’t been drunk that night I would’ve never fucked you or have even considered dating you. You’re worthless and ...”

Tears rolled down my cheeks and my heart broke into a million pieces. I thought he said he had changed. I couldn’t listen to this anymore. So I slapped him hard and held him by the collar of his shirt.

“I thought you said you changed! Apparently you’ll always be that little fuck boy, player, and cheater who insults peaceful girls to make himself feel better about himself. Stop acting like I care about you because I don’t. By the way, I didn’t ruin you. Next time you party, don’t drink and don’t take innocent vulnerable girls to bed. You destroyed my innocence and I hate you for it.”

When I released him, he turned and walked away. Once I was sure he was gone I let my tears flow like a river.

“Are you okay?”

I looked up to see Amanuel staring down at me. I shook my head. He took me in his arms.

“You know, I heard all of it.”

I started hyperventilating.

“Breathe,” he whispered.

“I’m tired. I want to forget about this,” I whimpered.

“I can help you forget,” he replied, in a mischievous tone.

“Only if you’d like me to,” he added with a wink.

My heart beat faster. Who cared about stupid exes when a cute stranger just invited you to his bed. I needed to get laid. The last time was Trevor and I wanted a guy to prove to me that not all guys are jerks. Amanuel could be that.

He saw my calculating eyes and led me to his room and locked the door. I texted Monica that Amanuel would drop me at her house. I removed my heels and was reaching for the buttons to his shirt when someone knocked on the door.

“It’s me Trevor. You can’t have sex with him,” the voice from behind the door said.

“Do you need me to beat your ass for you to leave?” Amanuel growled back.

“You’ll regret it,” Trevor stated.

Silence followed and we knew he was gone. I continued to unfasten the buttons on his plaid shirt as we kissed. His biceps revealed several tattoos. It just made him even sexier. He started with little teases. Little bites on my lip, neck, chin. Now we were deepening the kiss. He unzipped my dress and as I slipped out of it, he removed his pants. Then we removed everything else.

Then we got on the bed and played around. His lips covered every inch of my body hungrily and I couldn’t help but moan. I kissed his hard chest and explored its curvature with my fingers. He put on a condom. He pulled me up and I wrapped my legs around his waist. He supported me as he thrusted in and out of my body. I softly moaned yes.

It felt so damn good so why did I wish it was Trevor inside of me instead?