Chapter 1
Alana smiled as she walked down the black and white tiled halls. Looking around you would think she lives here rather than just visits. She knew the names of most the staff, and they all knew her name. It was like a big, happy family. Well, almost happy.
“You’re pretty!” A voice chirped happily from behind. Alana turned around at the sudden disturbance.
She winced as her eyes fell upon the source of the voice. Ernie- or whoever he is today. He’s completely insane! Then again, everyone here has some sort of mental problem; they wouldn’t be here if they didn’t. Unless they were visiting- like she was.
“Thank you, Ernie.” Alana replied before turning on her heels and continuing her walk.
The man apparently wanted to talk, because he grabbed her arm and spun her to face him. His eyes widened in anticipation; or fear of who knows what.
She heaved a dramatic sigh and glared pointedly at Ernie’s hand, which hadn’t moved for five minutes. “Do you need something?” Alana asked sweetly, trying not to unleash her fury on him for simply not knowing her dislike of being touched- the poor man did not deserve that.
“My name’s not Ernie...” He whispered, his brown eyes wide. “I’m Peter. And this is my Mama.” He held up a bird cage with a bright blue canary trapped inside.
Alana bit the inside of her cheek to keep from laughing at the man and his ‘mother’. It was hard not to laugh, but she knew if she did it would hurt him a lot. More so mentally than emotionally.
“That-” She cleared her throat of any giggles that might escape before continuing, “She’s lovely Ernie- Peter.”
The canary chirped in response. Peter held up the cage to Alana, nearly pushing her to the floor with the force that he pushed the cage into her hands. “You hold Mama while I go to the bathroom?” Peter begged, doing a little dance.
A small smile played onto Alana's lips, “Yes, Peter. Now go- before you wet yourself!”
Peter grinned as big as the Cheshire cat and began to undo his pants. Alana’s eyes grew as large as saucers, this was most definitely not the bathroom!
“No! Ernie, I don’t like your mother that much anymore. She bit my finger; please take her back to your room.”
The middle aged man’s eyes began to water and he did his pants back up. Alana breathed a sigh of relief, silently hoping she did the right thing.
“My name isn’t Ernie!” He sobbed, putting his forehead on her shoulder. Alana patted his back awkwardly, trying to comfort the poor man.
She glanced at the clock and groaned internally; she was so late. “I’m sorry, Peter. I got confused. Will you forgive me?” She asked gently.
The man nodded, and took back the canary. Wiping his eyes, he began to head toward his room. With the pitiful expression on his face, Alana felt guilt wash over her. She shouldn’t have said she didn’t like his mother.
Alana grabbed his arm, stopping him. “Peter, I really do believe your mother is lovely. She’s beautiful- I’m sorry I said I didn’t like her.”
Peter gave her a huge grin before turning and screaming at the top of his lungs; “CHARGE!” and then he ran towards his room, full sped.
Alana couldn’t hold back her laughter anymore, it was just hilarious. She loved this place and all of it’s residents so much.
As soon as her laughter died down, she wiped her eyes and glanced at the clock. Right, now to visit the person she always came for; Father.
Alana bit her lip, hesitant to knock on her fathers door. What if he didn’t remember her again? It wouldn’t be the first time, but it sure did cut deep. She squeezed her eyes shut, blocking out the last time he’d forgotten she was his daughter. It wasn’t even a week ago; it had been three days since her remembered who she was.
Alana knocked on the door three times with her knuckle, awaiting the second she would see her father’s lovely face.
The door opened slowly, revealing a withered old man standing in the doorway. Alana smiled painfully; please remember me.
“Oh! Do come in child.” Her father rasped, gently pulling her through the door. Alana’s heart warmed when he called her child. It’s a step in the right direction.
“Thank you, Father. You have no idea how glad I am that you remember me.” She confessed, pulling her father in for a hug. Her heart fell to the floor as she realized he wasn’t hugging her back. “What? What is it?”
The old man pulled away and sat heavily in the bedside chair. “My daughter...” He whispered.
Alana was hoping he would remember. She had prayed for this for so long! She just wanted her father to call her his- that’s all she’s ever wanted. Ever since he was admitted to the institution four years ago. Her life had just nearly fallen apart when she came home and read the note he left. She’d memorized it, and recited it every time he didn’t remember her.
My darling Alana, I have signed myself into the hospital a few blocks away. I didn’t want to be a burden on those dainty shoulders of yours. I believe I was holding you back from your dreams. I couldn’t live knowing that I was the dam in your river. Please forgive me. Visit everyday if you like.
I love you Lay. -I Won’t Give Up.
Her heart swelled up with happiness as she remembered how the both of them used to dance to that song. When she was little of course. He would let her stand on his feet and the both of them would dance around the living room.
Alana had nearly forgotten where she was, she was so caught up in her own memories. A raspy voice pulled her back to the present, “My daughter? She’s....”
She nodded encouragingly and knelt down in front of the old man. His next words tore her heart out and crushed it.
“She’s dead- my darling daughter is dead.”
She felt the tears streaming down her cheeks at those words. It was as if she could feel her heart breaking into tiny pieces. It couldn’t be. He couldn’t possibly believe I was dead.... could he?
Alana looked everywhere but at her father. She couldn’t look into his eyes and see the truth. No spark of recognition would be there. Just empty tears. Her eyes fell instead of the window.
“Daddy, I’m right here.” She whispered, her voice breaking. She squeezed his papery hands, begging him to recognize her.
He chuckled, patting the young girls head; she was such a blessing to have around. She reminded him of his daughter, Alana. Sweet, precious Alana. It was a true shame when she passed. “Sweet child, you cannot be my little Lay. She died. You do remind me of her though.”
Gilbert studied the young lady’s face as it set into an impassive expression. Why did she believe she was his Lay?
After chatting nicely for nearly half the day, Alana excused herself from the room, promising to be back in the morning.
Alana couldn’t take this heart ache any longer. She couldn’t sit and chat with the man who raised her and didn’t know her. How could he not remember?! They had became so close after mother died.
As she made her way outside, she chirped goodbye to one of the staff. At least they remember her.
Truth be told she was unhappy. She couldn’t remember the last time she was truly happy. Who could smile in such a hard time? Her father would have.
Alana shook her head, trying to clear her head of thought of her father. Thinking about what she didn’t have would never help her. It would just hurt her in the long run.
She began her walk home, thinking things over. Like; what if her father did remember her? What then? Would he even like who she had become? Would he approve?
Of course he would approve, Alana! He’s your father, isn’t he? He’s proud of you no matter what.
“Right, right.” She muttered to herself. Ever since Father left, she’d been talking to herself. Maybe it was her subconscious way of making up for the lack of conversation?
Beep, Beep. A car horn honked loudly. Alayna suppressed a glare at the unwelcome distraction.
“Hey, Lily. Hop in, I’ll give you a ride home.” A friendly voice called. Normally, if she knew the person she would let them drive her home. But this wasn’t someone she trusted with a rat let a lone her own safety.
“Thanks. I’ll walk.” She said. Her eyes wandering anywhere but at the imbecile in the silver car. Honestly he was like a stalker! He knew where she was at all times and she didn’t like it. It was quite disturbing really.
She looked at the sky, noticing the sun had made it’s way out from behind the clouds. She smiled lazily at the sight. She loved the brightness and the heat.
A hand grabbed her arm, spinning her around to face them.
“Alayna, you’re ignoring me.” Gale stated sadly.
With good reason, she thought towards him. It might seem harsh but she knew he didn’t care about her. He only cared about her body. The fact that she was ‘untouched’ pleased him. Alayna found it disgusting, to be completely honest.
“Sorry.” She said without simpathy. Or regret.
“Come on. Just let me drive you home.”
“No.” Alayna pulled her arm away from his gasp and continued on her way.
