Very emotional!

"Hello! I just read your short story. The first thing I'd like to point out is that I love the emotion you portray. You show what your main character is going through, and how it affects her life. You describe what she's going through, and it's powerful. However, you don't explain a lot about who she is. We see all these terrible things happen to her, but we never see her personality, how she attempts to cope with her situation (other than cutting), how she feels. This makes her an unrealistic character. I'd suggest fleshing her out more, because she's more of a character that the plot is thrown at not a character that is a part of the plot. We see all these sad things happening, but we don't really feel sorry for her because we don't know what she's like. Your grammar is okay, but you still have a lot of errors. You should read through your writing a few times to catch these in the future. All in all, you're off to a good start! Keep writing!"