E.S. Paul

The Kingdom of Reddic

Good day! I am E.S. Paul: author, artist, musician, Broadway enthusiast, and big fan of classical music and funny hats.

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A bittersweet tale of love and loss, with few faults

"Sidhe" was absolutely amazing, and was full of so much emotion! Reading about Aedan's life throughout the story made us get to know this well-rounded protagonist, and the rich world-building and emotional conclusion further enhanced the magic of this modern fairy tale. I loved the references to Irish folklore and history, and Sorcha's character arc was simply sublime. Her death was truly tragic, and I genuinely adored her relationship with Aedan.
One thing I must complain about, however, is the grammar. There are frequent missing commas throughout the story, as well as typos. They take away from the professional quality of this work, and can easily be fixed.
There are also many loose ends to this story, which I wish you'd expanded upon. Who exactly is Bran? Why did he want to help Aedan, and what were his true motives? When Ignatius chastised Aedan for becoming friends with a raven, it seemed like this was alluding to something that Bran would do later on in the story where he would either display adverse actions or do something noble to prove Aedan's father wrong, though nothing really happened with him. He's a really interesting character, and I feel like you could have done more with him.
I'd also like to know more about Sidhe politics as well. They have a king, who's very involved with the lives of his subjects, possibly because the population is so small. Still, we never see any of the characters make any commentary on the fact that he's so involved with his people, and it would also be interesting to see some of the darkness caused by the Unseelie Court. We hear one story, and that's about it. I would have liked to see how they could have been somehow involved with the plot. Maybe they're the reason why there are less Sidhe in modern times? How is the deteriorating environment connected to the loss of Seelie Sidhe? I'd also have liked to see how more species of Sidhe interact with each other, such as Pookas, sprites, water spirits, and more. Do they ever interact with creatures from other areas, such as Scottish Kelpies or Greek dryads? With the rainbow travel system, I feel like your world could really be expanded on. Then again, I don't think all this expansion is really necessary, since your story focuses mainly on the life of your protagonist.
I love the fact that this story focuses on the everyday lives of mythical creatures, rather than large-scale conflicts, like a lot of fantasy stories do. This is a really unique perspective, and I loved seeing the philosophical sides of common folktales.
Great job! This really made me think after reading it, and I loved it!!!

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Could use work, but not bad at all!

Hello!
I just read what you have of "The Target of Elizabeth," and I have a few things I'd like to say about it.
One: Why is she bullied so much for having a paralyzed arm? It's not something that's especially noticeable unless it's visibly malformed (which it doesn't seem to be). And she doesn't seem to be in any sort of situation where having a paralyzed arm would be glaringly noticeable. It's not especially realistic that she's completely ostracized for this, so if you wanted her to be socially ostracized in the beginning of the story, try maybe writing a situation where her arm causes her to experience humiliation or embarrassment. Otherwise, the entire school bullying her just because she has a paralyzed arm just doesn't make any sense.
As for her dad dying, you could have definitely developed his character before he died. We didn't see any of him at all, and we never saw him interact with Elizabeth, so it's sort of hard to sympathize with her. However, I do like the dynamic between Elizabeth and her sister, so it would be great if you explored that more.
I guess this story should be paced out more, is all. You've got seven chapters, but if you were to add more pacing, this could easily amount to about ten or eleven chapters. I don't think you really need a prologue, and you could explain her condition in the first chapter instead. As for grammar, there are quite a few errors that don't make sense, but I think they can be easily fixed.
Keep writing!
-E.S. Paul

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Interesting premise!

Hello!
I read the first six chapters of your story, and I know this is a first draft, so I'll try to keep that in mind.
One, you have a very interesting premise. I like the idea of a wandering main character (I've got one of my own, myself), as it allows for an excellent opportunity to showcase the world-building of the places you've created. There's so much of Yor's backstory that I still don't know (which may be answered later on, but I haven't read yet), such as the fact that he has dead parents. It's a common trope in literature (I've had to use it for the sake of the plot of my story), but this trope can help or hinder your story. While dead parents can help a reader easily sympathize with your character, it's also often used as an excuse to bypass writing detailed backstories and family lives for your character as well. If you use the dead parents trope, it's best to show what your character's family life was like with them. Pro tip: It's a lot more believable if you don't make the parents absolutely perfect, either.
As for the characters we've been introduced to, they seem mainly rather static. Elmeida seems to have the most potential out of all of them, as the fact that we've seen her face in the well raises questions. Although I haven't seen a lot of world-building yet, I find the idea of the Lady Celia figure very interesting. I love reading about the religions that authors come up with for their stories, and I would like to see more of how this figure affects the lives of the characters.
One thing I think you could definitely change is the relationship between Yor and Elmeida. It seems extremely forced, with no room for building up chemistry. Yor says that Elmeida has "been delightful," before he hardly actually talked to her. They then proceed to act like a couple that has been in love for a while, although they don't know each other too well. I'd suggest building up their relationship much slower. As for grammar, it's all right, though the unnecessary capitalization of some improper nouns can be distracting.
All in all, decent job! Keep writing!
-E.S. Paul

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Definitely NOT Monica, but definitely impressed!

Hello, Joanna! Congrats on getting on Inkitt's trending page!
I stumbled upon "Definitely NOT Monica" by chance, and had read it all in a day. Usually, I only read the first couple chapters of stories on Inkitt, but this really pulled me in, especially since you'd mentioned that your main character had OCD in the blurb. A lot of writers really miss the mark when writing characters with OCD, and I wanted to see how an indie author would cover the subject. Needless to say, I was impressed!
When I saw "humor/romance" as the genre, I was a little wary, as I'm not a huge fan of the romance genre at all, but God, I loved this, possibly because you focused more on the characterization of all the characters so well.
The characters! I just loved all of them (except for Troy, of course!) so much. Reading about each meeting between Jenny, Grayson, Jonty, Phil, Anthony, Ellen, Suze, and Petra (I got them all, right?) was amazing. I felt their triumphs when they worked towards their goals, and their pains when they'd made mistakes along the way. They're just so real, so human, I found it so rewarding to read about their individual lives as they struggled to overcome their addictions. I loved the way they all interacted with each other, and the whole female-friendship dynamic between Jenny, Petra, Ellen, and Suze, as well as between Jenny and Amber, really added a beautiful touch to this story.
And Neil! Oh my gosh, Neil. Although we didn't see much of him, he's one of those characters that falls into the category of characters who show how much other characters develop. As we see Jenny giving him cigarettes, to food, to clothing, we see how much she changes as a person in order to help him, and I think this idea is brilliant.
It's clear you've done your research with addictions and compulsions. I was a little wary of this at first, as I said, because so many people get it wrong, but you've handled the subject so remarkably well, and you showed the characters' development in such a wonderful and realistic way. For example, Jenny never completely stops her compulsions, but she learns how to overcome them for the most part, and ultimately grows as a person.
And Petra's arc? Wow. I just loved Petra. From the way she talked about her husband in the beginning, I thought he was abusive, as the plot led us to believe, though when she came to terms with herself and her addiction, I legitimately wanted to cry. She's just such a strong and badass character, and the fact that she's balancing her job and taking care of her children, who she shows such amazing love to, with coping with stress and her addiction, really shows her as such a strong character.
Next is Suze. When you first introduced her, I thought she was going to be a static character, the classic "mean girl". However, there is no room for bland tropes in this story, and I was pleasantly surprised with her character arc. I love the fact that you treated her compulsion to shop with the same graveness as the rest of the characters' addictions, and I have so much respect for you as a writer for the way you composed and handled this story.
And Phil! Who could forget Phil? He's freaking amazing. As a character, he didn't really change as much as the others did, but honestly, did he really need to? I loved the way he supported everyone, and how he tried to understand Jenny, even when she'd obviously hurt him. (By the way, I don't remember her telling him about what she meant to happen in the gym basement. Did she ever tell him?) And it was so rewarding to see him finish the marathon as well.
As for grammar, there are a couple minor errors here and there, such as missing commas, which unfortunately take away from this amazing story. I often forgot I was reading an indie book since the writing felt so professional, though the grammar sometimes took away from this. But other than that, if my book doesn't win the novel contest (let's be honest, we're all here to win), I hope this one does! It was absolutely brilliant, and I can't wait to read what you have in the future!
-E.S. Paul

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I'm sorry

Your story is absolutely impossible to follow. There are so many grammar errors, it doesn't make much sense at all. I don't know if English is your first language or not, but if it isn't, it's okay to write in another language other than English, if that's what you're more familiar with. If English is not your first language, I admire you for trying to write a story in English, but unfortunately, this story is impossible to read.
My main issues with the grammar are run-on sentences, a lack of punctuation, and misspelled words. These are extremely important to fix in your writing, as they are key to understanding your story and looking professional. As for the plot, it seems a bit cliche, but if you try harder and develop your characters more, you may be able to produce an interesting idea. For now, I'd just tell you to go over your writing before posting online.
You'll get better!

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Needs work

Hello!
I read the first four chapters of your story, and I'm sorry to say I couldn't really get through it. There are a lot of grammar errors, and your characters are pretty flat. They don't really have distinct personalities, and you spend way too much time with descriptions of what they're wearing, which can be exhausting to read. When describing a character's appearance, try opting for one or two sentences instead, and don't describe appearances unless the character is particularly important to the story. Your fight scenes are play-by-play, and to keep them engaging, you shouldn't describe every single move that's made- keep it concise.
As for your world-building, you have a lot of good ideas! The caste system is interesting, and I like how much you have planned out. However, you throw a lot of terminology and explanation at us in the very beginning, which can be really overwhelming. And please, don't steal songs from Les Miserables.
I know this is only a first draft, but there's a lot you can improve. Keep writing!

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Very emotional!

Hello! I just read your short story.
The first thing I'd like to point out is that I love the emotion you portray. You show what your main character is going through, and how it affects her life. You describe what she's going through, and it's powerful.
However, you don't explain a lot about who she is. We see all these terrible things happen to her, but we never see her personality, how she attempts to cope with her situation (other than cutting), how she feels. This makes her an unrealistic character. I'd suggest fleshing her out more, because she's more of a character that the plot is thrown at not a character that is a part of the plot. We see all these sad things happening, but we don't really feel sorry for her because we don't know what she's like.
Your grammar is okay, but you still have a lot of errors. You should read through your writing a few times to catch these in the future.
All in all, you're off to a good start! Keep writing!

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Very powerful!

Hello!
I read a few of your poems, and I love how dynamic they are! They really offer insight into your emotions. There's definitely rhythm and structure to them, and I like how each one is different. You're great with imagery, and I love the way you present both tangible things and abstract ideas.

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Review of the second chapter

Hello again!
I read the second chapter of your book, and let me just say, your use of imagery is amazing! The atmosphere was set really well, and I could picture every detail vividly. I also liked the use of flashbacks to convey backstory, rather than just explaining it.
That being said, again, grammar errors still pose as a problem. The run-on sentences were difficult to read, and you had a couple spelling errors as well. After writing, try going back and re-reading your work. That way, you can make edits more easily.
Nice job overall, and keep up with the good work!
-E.S. Paul

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An emotional family drama with plenty of twists and turns

Hello!
I read the first four chapters of "Collision" and am enjoying it! The suspense built up between the broken family is brilliantly written, and you delve into the characters' emotions so well. However, I really wish you'd talk a little more about the other characters, and introduce them a little better. For example, Sadhbh seemed like a friend to Dylan, but she just came out of nowhere, with no background on how they knew each other. Rachel is obviously important to the plot, but I'd wish we saw more of her before she died, so we could empathise with the main characters better. As for grammar, you have a lot of missing punctuation, which can get really annoying, and distracts from this amazing story.
But other than that, great work! Keep it up!
-E.S. Paul

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A work in progress, but definitely going somewhere!

Hello!
I just read what you had of "The Raventhorn Chronicles," and I find your premise rather interesting. I like the perspective from an old narrator, rather than a younger one, which is a new and interesting idea that we don't often see. The origin story in the beginning is a little long and confusing, so you may need to edit it some. We're introduced to the antagonist early, without much explanation on who he is- you may want to clear that up. Also, you don't have to publish your planning notes on Inkitt, as it disrupts the narrative.
It seems here that you're taking a lot of inspiration from Tolkien (don't we all?), and that's one place to start. However, you're not Tolkien; you're someone completely different. Therefore, when taking inspiration from another source, try to make your ideas your own. Don't go off the plot of Lord of the Rings or the Silmarillion; see how your characters interact with each other and write your story from there instead. You have a lot of potential, and so you don't have to write what's already been written- make something original! It's a good point to start on, but I'm sure you can blend common fantasy elements with your own ideas as well.
All the best,
-E.S. Paul

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A gripping tale with room for improvement

I'm sorry for the late review!
"The Tower's Labyrinth" has a fantastic, gripping plot that keeps the readers going as they watch Delilah and Leonidas struggle for survival. It's a high-stakes fantasy that holds one's interest, and its twists and turns keep pages turning.
However, the grammar can definitely improve. A lot of times, the wrong homophones are used (such as the wrong form of "they're/there/their") which can distract from the narrative. The syntax is clunky, and many sentences must be read through a few times to make coherent sense. The frequent use of profanity takes away from the formality of some of the characters as well. It works with characters like Delilah, who obviously has a rough and rebellious spirit, though with other characters, such as the knights and adversaries the protagonists face, it seems out of place.
As for the world building, it's a bit confusing in the beginning, but it's an interesting premise. The fact that this society slaughters an entire economic class of people, save for two, would certainly cause some plot holes. For example, why does it need to be done? Has anyone tried to rebel against this system? The song that commemorates this event is a good idea, and really helps drive the story forward. It sets the stage in the beginning, and continues to be an important factor in the story.
All in all, there's room to expand and improve, though this is a great start! Keep it up!
-E.S. Paul

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A fairy tale reminiscent of Japanese mythology

Hello!
I recently read "Abridged," and I really liked your writing style here! The imagery was so beautiful, and it felt like I was reading a traditional myth, though I could tell you did use some artistic license, which is fine. I loved your two main characters, as well as the chemistry between them. You didn't have a lot of complex development, though this is to be expected of a short story, especially one that replicates a myth. It wasn't an entirely original premise, which, again, is fine, as a lot of myths follow common themes, but it was unpredictable and really well-written! It was sweet and dainty, and provided a good contrast to a lot of the heavier stuff here on Inkitt. I liked the happy ending as well, as we don't see a lot of that here, or in traditional mythology. After all, this isn't a mythological retelling or adaptation, but a story based on common themes in mythology, which is pretty cool.
All in all, this isn't a premise I'm used to reading, but I really liked it! Excellent job!

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An interesting premise, but needs work

Hello! I read the first four chapters of your book, since I'm rather busy. I'll be reviewing those.
I like the idea of a modern Biblical fantasy a lot. The genre has been around since Dante's Inferno, and it's interesting to see a 21st-century author take on the subject. I like how you displayed each of the angels' personalities, and you do have a sense of snarky humor, which is good.
However, you have some grammar errors, such as missing punctuation and spelling errors, which can distract from the narrative. It's also sort of annoying to read through long descriptions of every character's appearance, as that can be distracting as well. You don't need to describe how everyone looks- a few sentences will do. Acacia seems to be a decent character, but could probably be developed more. She seems to be a typical stock rebellious teen character, which doesn't make her very interesting. Then again, I've only read four chapters, so I could be wrong.
Anyway, decent work. You have potential!
-E.S. Paul

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A pleasant surprise, with few plot holes

I read what you had of "Seven Little Queens," and I enjoyed what you have so far! All of your characters seem interesting, and I love the way you're connecting them between chapters. They're so well-rounded, which a lot of Inkitt authors never seem to get right. The world building is exciting, and definitely has potential.
There are a few nitpicks I have with this, however:
1) Parentheses in narratives. This is personally one of my greatest pet peeves in writing. If you feel the need to put information in parentheses, chances are, it's not needed. If it's actually important, use commas or dashes instead. Otherwise, it messes with the flow of the narration and looks unprofessional. There are a few minor grammar errors as well, but mostly, your grammar itself is pretty good.
2) This isn't much of a problem, but a lot of the kingdom names are long and clunky, and it hurt my brain trying to read through them all. Maybe opt for some shorter ones that are easier to pronounce?
3) The technology. At first, it seemed like a Medieval-type high fantasy, though the use of phones confused me since it seemed so out of place. They use carriages and they have magic; why do they need phones? A world with both magic and technology seems interesting, so I hope you'll do something with this idea.
Otherwise, this is a great story so far, and I'm excited to see where it goes! I don't read a lot of good fantasy on Inkitt, but this one is certainly going places! Keep it up!
-E.S. Paul

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Okay; could use work

I'm sorry, but there's not a lot to go off of here. Your characters are not very developed, and are two-dimensional at best. Allura's father seems to only exist to drive the plot, and Allura and her brother have some chemistry, which is good, but other than that, none of the characters really interact in a way that's interesting to read; rather, the story seems to be mainly plot, with little else. Also, if you feel the need to censor swear words, there's no point writing them at all.
I do like the world building that you've incorporated, though I feel like you could have also developed this more. How come only male werewolves can shape-shift? Why are arranged marriages so important in werewolf society? Do werewolves have human technology and interact with normal humans and/or wolves, or do they live in a more primitive society? There are alpha and beta werewolves; what is their class structure like? Are female werewolves only born human, or can they be born as wolves as well? How does being a werewolf affect their society, such as holidays, culture, customs, diet, etc.?
As for your main character, is there someone else she would prefer to marry, or does she just not want to marry at all? How does not being able to change forms affect her character? Does she dislike James, or does she simply not know him that well? What does he do that makes her dislike him, if that is the case? Do they have history together? What is her personality like?
All in all, there is a lot you can do for improvement. Keep at it!

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Impossible to follow

I'm sorry, but I could not get through the first chapter. There are far too many grammar errors to understand, and the character dialogue seems forced and awkward. Please consider revising your grammar, at least, before submitting online. I'm sure you'll get more readers that way.

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A promising first draft

I've read the first five chapters, and I can see that you're slightly uncomfortable writing about the subject of human trafficking. You skip over all the horrific details, cutting to Selena's emotions after the fact. We don't see what she said she experienced (at least from what I've read), other than the fact that she came out of it emotionally scarred. This, of course, is understandable, but for us as readers to sympathize with her pain, it helps to know exactly what she's going through. You don't have to describe everything in graphic detail, because then you run the risk of looking like you're writing some twisted erotica, but you should probably take a few paragraphs to mention what's going on, rather than how she felt afterwards. Your pacing certainly needs work, as is the case for a first draft. She's obviously a character we're supposed to feel sorry for, so you should let us get to know her before she's kidnapped. We need to know more about her friends, her family, and her life. What does she like to do in her spare time? Does she have any innocuous favorite things- a favorite book, color, animal, something that makes her seem more human as a character? What was her life like before? We only see a bit of this at the music festival and at school, but this isn't enough for us to connect with her. The scenes go by too quickly, and it seems as if you're just trying to get the plot down, rather to get it to flow smoothly. This is fine for a first draft, but you'll have to put more content between scenes so we can see how events happened from point A to point B.
As for grammar, your spelling is all right, but most of your errors have to do with run-on sentences and confusing sentence structure. My advice is to read through your writing multiple times, out loud if you have to, so you can smooth it out some. Another thing I noticed is a lot of unusual names. There is nothing wrong with unusual names, but they are a bit out of place in a modern realistic fiction.
What I really love about your writing is the way your main character thinks. I like the openings and endings to each chapter, how her personality shows through the narration, which is a difficult but essential element to any first-person story. Your first sentence draws the reader in, so I think you should keep that. However, you may want to make your prologue part of the first chapter, instead of having it on its own. It introduces the mood and weight of the story, and since some readers skim over prologues, I think it's important to open your first chapter with what you've written there.
Keep writing, and best of luck!
-E.S. Paul

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Review will be updated

Hello!
Since you took the time to read my full story, I will no doubt return the favour. I will update the review when I.m done reading.
As of now, I love your prologues. It's a little odd to have multiple, but I like how they seem like news articles, and how they really set the scene. The description of Amity's history makes me want to read more about it to see where it's headed next and what kind of characters may inhabit it, and the introduction of the terror attack no doubt will set the stage for the story. Your main character seems interesting, and I like how you decided to flesh out his backstory as part of the narrative, rather than forcing it in somewhere. Normally, I would be opposed to multiple prologues, but I like how you wrote them, as one has to piece them all together to get the full gist of what exactly is going on. Your writing style flows very well, and I'm sure I'll enjoy the rest of it. You're definitely off to a good start! It may take me some time, but I can't wait to continue!
-E.S. Paul

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Intriguing read so far!

Hello!
I read the first two chapters of your book, and you definitely kept me hooked! I don't have a lot of time to read, so I probably won't be able to finish, but I'll share my thoughts on what I did read:
One, I love how dynamic your main character is. We see a lot of insight into her thoughts, as well as her personality. You're also good at describing scenes, and when you describe characters, it doesn't feel forced like a lot of character descriptions are, which is great. The story keeps you wanting to know what happens next, and I do like that she's focused on other things rather than the guy she noticed, even though she keeps coming back to him. That's way more realistic than having one's thoughts 100% consumed by a total stranger, a common mistake often seen in romance novels. She thinks about him often enough to be in love, but not enough to the point where it's unrealistic.
However, from what I see, the other characters seem to be stock characters- that is, based on certain archetypes, such as the supportive friend and the hot stranger. I'm sure these characters may develop later on, though. There is nothing wrong with starting with stock characters, as long as you develop them enough so that they become their own people, per se.
As for punctuation, you have very few errors, such as a few missing commas, but your largest problem with grammar is the fact that you have an inconsistent tense. Sometimes, you're telling the story from past-tense, and other times, it's being told from present-tense, which makes it rather confusing. This may not be noticeable while writing, so it helps to reread your work to catch these sorts of mistakes.
Overall, this is very well-written from what I have seen, and I'm sure it will fulfill its potential!
-E.S. Paul

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Quite splendid!

Hello!
I read the prologue and the first chapter, and from what I could see, this is a great story! I loved how you introduced your characters' vibrant personalities, and it really does flow quite well. You seemed to have done your research on the time period, which is great. I usually steer clear of historical fiction because I'm scared to make inaccuracies and anachronisms, but this seems good so far, and it's a tricky genre to approach. Nice job with this!
The only thing I'd say you'd need to change (at least within the prologue and first chapter) is the fact that there are a few minor grammar errors. They may not be noticeable to most readers, but if you are planning on getting published, you should probably polish your grammar the best you can. Such errors include paragraph breaks in the middle of sentences, missing quotation marks, and the absence of commas when needed. Again, these are small errors, but they should probably be dealt with.
Again, I really like how you show your characters' personalities through dialogue. Their conversations (such as the exchange in the prologue between Hugh and Emma, as well as the quarrels between Suzette and Sophie about the frog/toad and the chess game) were enjoyable to read, and provided a lot of insight into their characters. I also like how the first chapter ended on a cliffhanger, as it certainly makes me want to read more, which I probably will.
In short, I enjoyed this, and I'll probably update if I read more.
Keep writing!
-E.S. Paul

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Confusing, but a good start!

Hello!
I read what you had of "The Longest Ride". As for characters, they seem to be well-written, especially Irene. The fight with her abusive boyfriend in the beginning definitely introduced a conflict, and kept me reading. Reese seems a little bland, so I'd suggest fleshing him out some, rather than making him a stock love interest. I like the use of quotes before each chapter; it's not exactly a unique idea, but it does help set the mood. As for grammar, your use of run-on sentences is quite confusing, and it's hard to read this easily because there's not much of a flow. I would suggest breaking up sentences that seem to combine a lot of information, and reading your writing over again, maybe aloud, to get a sense for better syntax. I'm not a huge fan of romances, so I'm not sure how much I can help you with the plot, but you should probably work on making it a little less predictable.
Keep writing! This isn't a bad start!
-E.S. Paul

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Keeps me hooked!

I've read up to chapter 16 (may edit review if I finish) and I really love the characters, as well as the suspense, which is brilliant. It builds up so nicely, and really draws the reader in. I like how Jenna expresses her thoughts by talking to Chirpy, which really helps move the story forward. Her relationship with Jezzer seems really forced, and doesn't make much sense, unless it would be setting up a plot twist (don't spoil it!), though even so, that would be sort of predictable. The setting really adds to the suspense, as we see both aspects of a worn-down, sleazy town, though we also see a bit of sophistication as well, which creates this great balance that is key towards anticipation, which you certainly have down. As for grammar, you have some missing punctuation, as well as unnecessary indentations, which really takes away from this amazing story.
All in all, great job so far!

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Review of the first chapter alone

Hello!
I read the first chapter of your book, and this is solely a review on it.
First of all, I like how you opened it with a prayer. It's a unique way of starting a book, and draws the reader in. You certainly spent a lot of time describing the dog, which is fine, as I assume the dog plays an important role in your therapeutic journey. However, I feel that, since this is supposed to be a self-help book, you should probably focus a little more on how exactly the dog helped you in the first chapter so that the readers get a sense of how you were able to heal. That way, it will leave them with the thought of, "since they were able to get help, maybe I can, too." The dog is fine, as from what I gather, it's what helped you with your healing, though maybe you should focus a little more on your feelings here and your state of mind, and how they changed once you got the dog, rather than what the dog looks like.
You have an interesting writing style, and I do like how it seems a bit like a blog. It gives you a sense of connection with the readers, which is good if you're reaching out to them. I would like to know more about this Guru and his role of helping you in your journey. How did you get to know him? What made you want to ask him for help? Why did he decide to give you the dog? Do you think other people will benefit from consulting gurus or other spiritual people as well? What advice did the Guru give you?
I'm sure all this information is revealed later on, but some of it should be implemented in the beginning. Perhaps this could be the first chapter, though you could have an introduction about the benefits of self-help before chapter one, so your readers will have a clearer image of what you would like them to know.
All the best,
-E.S. Paul

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