Caged Soul

"Firstly, sorry this took a little while for me to post as I've been a little busy with schoolwork. I believe the premise of your story has potential, but I think there is quite a bit with your story that you could improve. Firstly, I'd say that a general proofread might do your story some good as some sentences didn't really make sense - 'it doesn't even worth remembering' was one of these early in the novel. Likewise, some of the speech marks were the wrong way around. Writing wise, there were a couple of quite nice lines such as 'many invisible daggers were thrown at us' and 'at least my reflection feels sorry for me', and it would be great to see more of them. I don't believe, however, you need so many lines in capital letters as it sounds overly hysterical. Caroline isn't really appealing to me as a character either as I find her a little petty. Sorry if this review came across as a little harsh! Keep writing, and I look forward to hearing your thoughts on Page 105!"