Neat

"This book has promise, and it has a great plot. The story itself is very interesting with Galen and his quest in seeking out the artifact which was stolen and your use of description is admirable. The reason I put only two stars down for your grammar and punctuation is that you use a third person omniscient voice in your writing and it made the story sort of rough and hard to follow. You have a great style, but you need to consider using less description and more character-driven emotions. One other thing: I think your description of Virian could be a little less focused on how she looks and more on her character. It would make a reader a little more interested in her. All in all, you have great potential! Happy writing! ~Aneli Defanif"