This book has promise, and it has a great plot. The story itself is very interesting with Galen and his quest in seeking out the artifact which was stolen and your use of description is admirable.
Read the story now
The reason I put only two stars down for your grammar and punctuation is that you use a third person omniscient voice in your writing and it made the story sort of rough and hard to follow. You have a great style, but you need to consider using less description and more character-driven emotions. One other thing: I think your description of Virian could be a little less focused on how she looks and more on her character. It would make a reader a little more interested in her.
All in all, you have great potential!