Good Plot Line

"This story has a strong plot. It is written quite well and structured nicely. The character development is also very well done. I loved Kyle's character by the way :) The relationships between the characters are built very strongly too. However, I respectfully ask that you read back over the draft a couple of times, as there were a lot of grammar and punctuation errors. They can be easily fixed but can really put the reader off the great story you have written. And that would be a real shame, as it is a brilliantly written and thought out narrative. With a bit of editing, this would be perfect, I look forward to reading an edited version. All in all, I really enjoyed your story and I hope you continue to write :)"