Outlet

Log#1

It's been raining hard these past few days. Whenever it rains, I always enter this strange state of mind that shifts from calmness to disarray. I just need a way to grasp it all. If I let these thoughts sit on my mind without doing anything about it, I fear that I might just explode out of frustration. So here I am, writing and trying to understand what's happening with me.

There are so many things on my mind right now. The major theme being the constant nagging feeling of not progressing in life. I worry that all I do is waste time.

I want to do so many things. I want to make things happen, but it gets overwhelming. I don't know where to start. Whenever I do start something, I always worry about failure. It's crippling, really.

What a terrible, unhealthy mindset.

On the outside, I'd front an optimistic and happy-go-lucky personality. Mostly to convince myself to move forward. The other reason is that I don't want to spread negativity as much as possible. But keeping this facade is taking a toll on me.

I don't talk about this to anyone. Writing is the only outlet for me. I just hope I remain anonymous. I wonder if there's anyone out there feeling this way too?