What is your opinion?
Wow...
"Even though the plot is great, you could brush up on the words that you are using and make them more sophisticated. But... I really like the idea of this though! Nice Try!"
Great story
"I love this story so much."
A Great Hook and Beginning
"Hi, Pheonicorn! I read your two chapters and I like it! The beginning is interesting, and I wanted to know more about Seth Taylor. He seems super cute. There are minor grammar errors, and I'll be discussing with you some of the errors I've found. After whispered in my ear add a period before the dialogue: "You know you still love me." Also instead of a comma use a period to end the dialogue/sentence. Instead of I would've though, it should be: I would've thought. Suddenly should have a comma after it. Remember when you are using Suddenly in a sentence it needs to have a comma after it. The Guide of Surviving Highschool should have a period after not a comma. There shouldn't be a comma after the sentence she raised her eyebrows. Since the dialogue ended with a period, her voice should be starting with a capital letter. The dialogue: Sure, what do you want to talk about should end with a question mark and not a comma because she is asking a question. This sentence should look this way: I grabbed my apple out of my paper sack and took a bite out of it. I combined both sentences because it is awkward to read if we separate them both. There should be a period after, Seth nodded. I smiled the first genuine smile in weeks should end with a period. I think this will work should end in a period and not a comma. So there you go! I hope you will my find my review helpful. Please don't get discouraged by reading the grammar errors I've mentioned. All of us writers have the same experience. It is always a learning process for every writer to improve in writing and grammar. Your story has a lot of potential. All of us writers have written over many drafts of our stories. We all try to do our best in writing every draft till we finally have our story polished. I'm wishing you good luck with your writing journey and keep remembering to continue writing because you have a talent! All the best, Valerie"
I like where you're going
"I think that you have an interesting start to your story and it's tough to review when I want to hear more. I'll take a look at some of your other stories. My feedback for this chapter is that you need to add more physical description- it's tough for me to picture the setting."
