Chapter 1
Life is how you make it. But how do you make it? People always telling you to be strong, to be strong willed, to be ambitious but what if I am lazy, weak or not goal determined. Do I not belong to the world then? I always wonder.
My life I have been living a lie, to pretend to be someone whom I was not until I rediscovered myself, what I wanted in life because honestly, I think so for time I had been living someone else's dream and goals. What I really wanted to do, focus on I had no idea but because the world is always pressuring you to be something and someone in life, I become stressed that I indeed had to be someone and in the process I lost myself because I took someone's goals and ambitions and made them mine. But that was not really me, I was just a duplicate of someone.
I grew up believing that I should never show my weakness, that I should be the command of everything to show people that I was strong, I had goals in life I was not struck, without a future but as I look back, I actually had no future, I was weak, I HAD NO GOALS BECAUSE I was just a young girl inside hiding away from the pain of the world.
I was the pillar of strength to the weak, the beauty of the ugly, the strong willed of the lazy but who was my pillar when I was weak, my beauty when I was ugly, there was no one because I hid myself in a shell. The world was never to know I was any of those. I cried, stressed and woke up in the morning with a beautiful smile on my face but yet the heart was in sorrow. I believe that I was a fake person. But then what happens when the shell becomes small because believe you me the problems do get bigger, I thought of looking for a bigger shell, because the world does not have to know.
But I turned the tables now, because after self evaluation, I now knew how important the world had to know, I had to know because WE ARE HUMANS AFTER ALL.
This book is not a fantasy but the real life of a 22-year old as she takes you into her journey from as young as she can remember, exposing her weaknesses and fears because that has only made her stronger than she ever assumed to be.
Enjoy the ride
Nenekue
