The Boy
There once was a boy
And he loved a girl
They were young, too young to know most would say
But they knew, just the same
They dreamt fanciful futures, but lived for their spectacular now
The girl was magnificent
Kind, smart, funny, spontaneous
All generic, I know
But she also had that intangible thing about her
A shimmer
A glow
To the boy she was perfect
The most beautiful of them all
She smelled of coconut and vanilla
And nothing and no one could compare to what he saw
She had short black hair, leftover from her troubled youth
But had since evolved into something new
Brown eyes the crinkled and cheeks that dimpled
And a smile and laugh that was only shown to few
The girl wasn’t perfect, despite the boy’s claims
Something in her head wasn’t quite right
Thoughts she couldn’t let go of would keep her up half the night
Her family was broken, although loving
And she was just trying to stay alright
The boy, well he was pretty good too
Smart, strong, a little handsome
He liked to swim, it’s just what he did
He liked to write, but that as well, was shown to few
He had gold brown hair, the texture of turf
And blue eyes that changed color with mood
And a perfume of chlorine, that would never move
And the girl loved him for it
The boy wasn’t perfect either
His family was whole, it was true
But internal pressure
That’s what he knew
The boy wouldn’t sleep, nightmares dogged him
And thoughts that others had fleetingly, terrified him to his soul
His privilege, while a gift, was also a burden
It made him sick, that he had so much and others so little
He wanted to save the world, but his father, belittled
The boy and girl loved each other, simple as that
They’d sing and dance as children
For they both loved music, and adored the world
But would cry and talk as elders
For they feared, and feared for, the world
One day, the girl was taken, of her own accord
Her mind finally broke, and so did she
The boy saw her laid in the ground
And he may have stopped it, if he had only been more
The shut down, became cold
His grades suffered as he did
But he kept swimming
As fast as he could
The boys family was sympathetic at first
But they didn’t understand
They didn’t love her as he did
No one had
They sent him to doctor, to take the pain away
But the doctor couldn’t help him, not as they say
The pills covered the twisting knife in his heart
Covered it with a blanket, that would eventually, be cut apart
The fathers patience ran thin
He yelled and took the boy’s phone
The boy let him saying, he had no one to talk to anymore
He took the boys computer
The boy let him, he had no more dreams to record anymore
He took away his books
The boy let him saying, I have no wonder anymore
And I’m sure if someone tried to take his eyes he would let them, saying
There was nothing he wanted to see anymore
The father was at a loss, he couldn’t do anything anymore
The mother tried to help
She replaced the cold untouched breakfast
With a dinner to suffer the same fate
And bit her lip, trying to decide
She asked him if he was alright
And he lashed out, hissing, clawing, spitting with his words
She flinched and cowered and scurried away, scalded and hurt
Only to return the next day
The boys siblings tried to help,
the sister hugged what seemed to be a dead rock, cold and unloving
The brother tried to play, and when desperate annoy, just to get a response
But he got nothing, his brother, was gone
The boys friends, however few,
Tried to reach him but failed like the rest
For you see he locked away his mind, soul, and heart, in a chest
But he kept swimming, it’s all he could do
He was a zombie in school and the teachers took notice
The counselor, principle and swim coach all sat him down
To try to talk, to understand, to help
But all that could heal him now would be the girls kiss
He was apathetic to the world around
And only foresight was the next 5 seconds
Because he wasn’t sure he could survive even that without her
The boys life crumbled, before the eyes of all
And he was the only one, who didn’t care at all
The mother dropped him off at school and told him she loved him with hope in her eyes
The boy slammed the door, and she started to cry
He trudged through the halls, ignoring the world
Those he used to know would call to him
And he glared until the withered away
His father dropped him off at swim
After the millionth conversation
To get over it, move on, get it together
It started loud and angry, and ended quiet and sad
For the boys father loved him, deep inside
The boy remained silent and shouldered his bag, not caring to watch the car drive away, with his dad
He came to the deck, the coached nodded to no reply
His comrades who he once would have greeted with a smile
Shared glances and cleared a path
For the mere ghost on the earth
He swam alone, a lane to himself
Robotically prefect, robotically alone
But something was wrong
The water wasn’t numbing him, as it usually did
He grit his teeth as he went faster but it didn’t work, but he still hurt
He ignored his need for oxygen, but his hurt outweighed the burn
He released a silent, scream, bubbles flowing, all to go faster
But it didn’t work, for his mind had broke just like hers had
At the end of practice he shook the coaches hand
Climbed up the high dive on the deep pool
He told the girl he loved her, and was on his way
The stepped to the edge and looked over the water
Took a long breath and dove into the pool, cutting deep
An didn’t resurface
---
His sister cried like she was three
And his brothers eyes watered, feeling the same
His friend muttered and groaned blaming themselves
A few cried but then moved on
The good ones remembered, but eventually he to them too, was lost
The parents collapsed, also blaming themselves
And cried in front of their children, as broken shells
The father shut down became cold and hard
The only way to protect his heart
The mother screamed and wailed, tears down her cheeks
She felt she could have stopped if if she had been more
And so it goes again, as an old friend once said
Suicide doesn’t stop pain, it just passes it on, instead
And so the cycle, it begins again
