Chapter 1
“This year has been the year when the English language has been berated and pulled to shambles and made useless. Everyone in the language is using bad English because writers who have to set an example have been and done it.”
“Bad English is not in use?”
“That is why we sacked you for using bad English.”
“My English is not any worse than anyone else’s Miss.”
Having destroyed the English language I am in the first place never going to behave like anyone else because- I am not anybody else.
“I think you made yourself plain.” she said resignation written on her pure roses.
“Why are you behaving like a spoilt brat and not getting on with learning the language which you are going to write in?” her roses have been in bloom like her bloomers for many years.
“I am sorry Miss have a disability called dyslexia and the plain truth is do not see what is plain to you.”
“Plain as plain then don’t write girl.”
“That if you are going to butcher the tongue there is no way we might be able to live this down as a language which has nothing but bad grammar in it.”
“I have been trying Miss.”
“Then there are tools which you must have?” said the poor woman besides herself.
“Tools of the trade have grown old and I need a grant Miss.”
“I am a poor writer a pauper who has domestic troubles.”
“Why don’t you have one?”
“What Miss?”
“A grant?”
I am wonderfully pleased and take grants for granted until they are stopped because it is most unusual for a person to be taking grants from the mouths of the workers in order to make more rotten apples. Being me more rot and more of unnecessary literary endeavours the poor should be horsewhipped and settled into permanent poverty.
“Without any dreams?”
" Without anything it is taking the money from the mouths of the workers”.
“How can anything grow without dreams?”
“Manure- this is pure evil.”