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Jin ran. He ran as fast as his legs could carry him, into the darkness, into the endless, gloomy, distorted darkness of the forest. He didn’t
see where he was running to, despite his eyes once being the best ones that noticed all the little details others couldn’t, that knew every
road by heart… the forest didn’t want to reveal it.
It didn’t want to reveal itself. It didn’t want to be obliant, even if it lost the fight.
But he just defiantly kept running, not minding his sneakers, which he loved the white colour of, getting dirty from dead leaves and mud,
not minding the dirt splashing on his clothes. Branches reached out for him and ripped the sleeve of his favourite shirt, biting off the
buttons from the clothes, as if they would take sacrifices from the man for stepping into their world.
The trees standing in his way didn’t want to move for him, the scenery infront of him started to wave. On his left, he could see the fallen
tree, on which the others balanced every single time they entered the forest, he even thought he could see their footsteps, that the rain
washed away a long time ago, that was drumming on the ground and on the leaves.
He felt cold. And he cried, because everything that he has lost, came to his mind. Everything that he wanted to get back, came to his
mind and, although he knew he was alone and none of them were there with him, he could clearly see Taehyung and Jimin standing
there. Despite no one actually knowing who the younger one of the both boys was, Jin always thought it was Jimin, so it wasn’t hard for
him to remember the way the older one guided the younger on the bole, hand in hand, so Jimin wouldn’t lose his balance.
But this time they didn’t smile. This time they were looking at him, their accusing eyes twisting the knife in Jin’s chest once more. Their
eyes just black holes in their skulls, both of them drenched from the rain and they just looked at him, like the phantoms that still haunted
him in his dreams, even after so many weeks, even after almost a month.
- Disappear! - the man shouted, nearly stumbling over his own feet, as he managed to turn his back to the sight. If he would have let the
forest take control of him, he would be standing there for a lifetime, until the roots tangle around his ankles or until the litter buries him,
so that nobody would ever know that he attempted to get through the forest. - Go, disappear! - he turned his head towards the foliage that
was wildly torn by the wind, he addressed his words to them. In between the leaves he could see the night sky and the rainclouds that
looked so, so far away. Will I ever see them again? Is this really the last time I’m able to look at them? They seemed unattailable. Maybe
they really were. Maybe he would never make it out alive from the forest.
He turned around, observing the trees around him with hectic, panicked movements, although he knew that this was the biggest mistake
he could make. He couldn’t show weakness, he couldn’t let the forest smell his fear, the trees had noses and ears, the leaves secretly
whispered to each other in an unknown language, the twigs and roots lived their own lives over and underneath the earth.
Taehyung and Jimin disappeared, there was nothing left behind by them, only the transpiration of the rain and the litter. The wind
brought the intoxicating smell of rosin to Jin, it made the scent dance between the trees, carrying it to him. But he dried his tears and
turned into the opposite direction of the scent, not heading to the heart of the forest, but the east side of it, to the meadow, where he
suspected the rabbit hole.
Under his feet the mud started to splash into every direction again, as he started running, behind his back he could stil hear the sound of
his friends pursuing him. He wanted to turn around, a force, that has grown bigger than him a long time ago and that never wanted to let
him go, tried to make him turn his head and look back over his shoulder, to the direction he came from. To the direction of the labyrinth
of the trees, to the direction of the death, where the forest wanted to send him with every fibre.
Shadows glided through the darkness on the right from him but he couldn’t stop, not even if the shadows were targeting him. He had to
prevent it. There was no other way, he couldn’t turn around and let the sweet voice of the forest lure him into death, he couldn’t get off
of the road he was going on. It wasn’t even a road, not his eyes, but his feeling guided him, he followed the feeling that not even the trees
were able to take away from him. And the Glass Queen neither. There was no one hiding under the litter or between the bushes, that
could have taken his aptitude away from him.
- Disappear, disappear, disappear! - he repeated himself once more, still talking to the trees. He hoped that this way he could keep them
away from himself, he hoped that if he talks loud and confident enough, they won’t notice how his whole body is trembling. It was just
the cold, just the rain, but not the fear, never the fear!
A creeking, high-pitched answer came from the dense forest. It was almost like the woods were laughing at him.
Suddenly, as if it was just a foggy dream, he caught sight of the meadow he was heading to. He wasn’t actually able to see it… it was
more like he was able to sense it. Yes, that was the right word for this feeling! And suddenly the forest stopped its derisive laughter,
instead, the wrinkled roots sluggishly came out from unterneath the earth and stretched themselves out in Jin’s way.
He jumped over one. Over two. He got around two more and three more, he got out of the way of four more, he didn’t see the fifth, but
he still stepped over it, gracefully, with an almost unearthy ability to know where the obstacles of his enemy lay.
And he just ran and ran, stumbling a few times, hurting his knee that was left uncovered by his jeans shorts, wading through mud and
leaves, not minding the spikes looking for his bare hands and the slippery puddles that trees wanted to trap him with. He was dirty,
weathered and wet, he was trembling from the rain, the cold and the endless fear, but he made his way out of the dense forest and he
sighed deeply, when he finally saw his destination.
He wouldn’t even dare to believe it. He couldn’t believe that he really made it, even though he was convinced that his suicide attempt
will end between the trees, even before he could get out of there. He believed that he would never reach the place he wanted to get to,
before it all ends and that a wrinked branch will drill into his chest, giving him his cup de grace he has been waiting for.
This was the kind of idea that Namjoon would have called madness. This was the kind of idea that would’ve made Jungkook tell him that
these kind of ideas were not the ones he was looking up at him for. This was the kind of thing Yoongi would’ve called a waste of time.
Good thing that none of them was there anymore to stop him in what he was about to do.
Because he had to turn back time. Somehow, he had to turn everything back.
