Good but...

"This is a well done piece but it's missing several things. One, you need to correct the grammar. I know. That's become a theme with me. Sorry. But two, you have GOT to invest some more of your humanity into these little stories. Right now they're delivered like I was reading a history book. The story of the man who painted his way on a bicycle from India to Switzerland? If you gave us just a paragraph of what happened on that trip. That alone would make that portion of this story 5 stars. When you're reading these, think about the human angle. Help us to connect to these characters and try not to focus on the facts too much. They're important but how they affected the people is the part we need in order to feel that these stories are great."