Interesting Piece
"This is a great plot/story, and I can see it arcing into fascinating territory. It certainly warrants much more development. I think it's also a unique story; I don't recall seeing anything similar. The author blends action with emotion; a quality that does hold my interest.
Regarding the author's style; I felt the piece was choppy in places, detracting from the flow of the piece. There were also some small 'holes' in the story. For instance, toward the end of the piece, was the archer going to shoot Ptolemy or the floating casket? It wasn't clear until the archer shot the floating casket. Further, why was the casket shot with a flaming arrow? Was burning a body an act of contempt or disrespect, or was it the opposite (according to Roman culture)?
Regarding technical skills; There are a number of places where a technical edit is in order. As a professional writer and editor, these fairly leaped off the screen. Another once-over probably would have caught most of the gaffes.
Bottom line is that I think its a good first draft."