Reality

Reality

Chapter 1 : the introduction

So, you know how teenagers are supposed to do typical things like get drunk, blame everything that happens to them on their parents or either succeed in school or do everything they can do to fail? Well I was different, sure I did part of those things, but I was what you would call a dreamer. Every day I would dream about achieving something that would make a change in the world, writing a novel and even on the best days I would dream about meeting the love of my life. Yes, I know what you’re thinking. This is going to turn out as a basic love story.

Well let’s not get ahead of ourselves and read on. I never realized how damaged I was until now but let me start from the very beginning… throughout my entire childhood I was happy, I had everything a child could wish for; loving parents, friends, boyfriends and then adolescence arrived. Let me tell you this, when a person comes from being a child to a teenager, he has completely no idea what he’s getting into. We all make mistakes but it’s during our teenage years that we make the most and the worst of them.

For starters, when I entered secondary school, I became anorexic. Everyone assumed it was the stress from school that had caused me this sickness, and no one understood the true reason behind it. I’m not saying that I was special on the contrary anorexia has touched many people and I truly which it on no one. You see the reason I had indulged this pain on myself was to feel in control, to be able to control something in this wave of changes that had burst upon me, physically as well as mentally. It lasted for approximately a year and to be honest I sometimes want to start again, a person never truly recovers from anorexia, you will always hate you body, always count the calories and without even realizing this horrible disease basically takes control of a sane person’s life, sometimes manages to destroy it but also makes you think that you’re in control, that you’re handling it when in reality the person is slowly killing herself.

And you want to know the worst part? Pretentious doctors think that they found solutions but when a person stops being a pawn in this epidemy, it’s because she wants to, definitely not because some doctor has managed to convince her. When you’re anorexic, everything that people say concerning the sickness and I mean everything, doesn’t affect you in any way, you only think about the 3 calories over budget that you ate this morning or when you’re going to be able to purge again. In all the sicknesses I think that this one is the worst because the person deliberately makes himself sick and has no wish whatsoever into getting better. That was my first step into becoming a teenager.

I was also the type of teenager who put so much pressure on herself to be the first one of her class I barely had time to do anything but work and read. Reading, the wonderful way to escape reality. I want to thank all the authors out there who have made my first years into adolescence somewhat bearable. You see when you read a book you get transported into another world, a whole other new dimension. This gives the opportunity to someone to avoid their own life. Anyways, as I grew older, I was now approximately twelve, I moved to London because I had been living in Paris. Things became interesting. I started having bad grades and not caring, being insolent with my parents, going out, the emblem of bad choices and adolescence. I was what you would call rebelling. Although let me tell you something, I wasn’t any happier at all and no one was.

We live in an miserable society where young and old inhabitants make people feel down just to make themselves feel better in their own sorrow. I love how this nation blames everything on the government like the Gilets Jaunes in France when the only problem are the citizens themselves who don’t know how to communicate and act decently, if people really want to change how things work, human beings are going to have to stop accepting the unacceptable. For example, smoking and drugs have become completely acceptable for underage people. That’s not definitely not normal. You see that’s when I started to understand how tremendously messed up are world was. Yet no one is doing anything to change that. People have literally conceded to the unacceptable. As the years passed nothing really changed, sure there were many ups and downs to make my lonely life somewhat tolerable but I never truly understood why I felt that way.

You see even when I think I’m happy, when I’m even having a good time I always end up feeling depressed and down the minute I’m alone. I never understood. I’m not what you’re probably picturing; ugly, anti-social teenager on the contrary I was always very popular, people liked me, I had good grades, was good looking but I simply hated my life and to be more precise, I loathed myself. You know when you see all those American films about teenagers and you think that it’s just a stereotype and it’s extremely amplified and exaggerated. Well that’s where you’re wrong. Everything is inspired by reality. Imagination comes from somewhere, nothing is created from scratch, people don’t just invent things, everything has an origin.