Brainstorm
I woke up this morning, free from any of them, freedom given to me from REM and its ability to sort through my frantic thoughts. I got dressed as quickly as possible, ready to run downstairs and get through today. I had gotten up ten minutes before my alarm was even meant to go off. I even take the time to double check my math homework because of how early I still was. I jumped on the bus with my hood up and mood high from breakfast, headphones on.
An hour later, with no words spoken, I get off the bus with my hood up, masking the world around me, to many distractions with it down, and walk straight to my locker. I open it and a tiny humming creature flutters out, she had been asleep. I quickly put her bed and dinner in the pencil pouch that hide them everyday. She continues humming the songs I listened to on the bus quietly behind me as I get my things and walk to first period. Oliver is there, waiting for me, and he pulls my hood down to remind me that I can’t hide forever.
“ Can I see the homework, please?” he asks, stumbling over his words as they fight to get out quickly enough to keep up with his brain. I nod and he takes it.
“ Number four is sixty three.” He states and hands it back. Closer than usual, I think and I fix number four while she hums in my ear. We take our seats, I sit in the back corner, and Oliver is the only one who sits near me. Whether it’s because of Oliver’s overly fast, smart talk, or because I’ve been spotted talking to myself more than a few times, I'm not sure. Math goes pretty quickly, with Oliver saying all the answers quietly, and correctly, under his breath, and me concentrating solely on the words coming out of his math so I could study for our next test.
Next is science and I learn the whole periodic table while the teacher drones on about the ten we need to know. I look so hard at the table all period making sure that I tune everyone else out that I jump noticeably when Oliver taps me to let me know class is over. Band is next, and I play perfectly, so well that Mary actually pulls the horn away from my face and asks if I am okay.
“ Just fine, thank you. Just really wanted to play this song today.” What I don't say is that I had decided the night before that making sure I focus solely on one thing was the only way to make sure that I don't end up with more than five at the end of the day.
I always have her, the one, she’s song in my head, and I have affectionately called her Melody. She’s humming quietly by me, but she doesn't bother me, so she is just like a pet. She's fine, it’s the others I don't want. Band takes up two blocks, so I head to the library to help the librarian put books away for my study hall. I take the stack that was assigned for me to put away and finish in a couple of minutes, as always. Funny how fast it goes if you think of nothing else.
Soon I am putting away the last book from the librarian’s stack and I am walking to lunch a few minutes early, reciting the periodic table as I go. I reach the back table just as the bell rings and I take my seat, waiting for Oliver and Laura to sit across from me. They sit together, holding hands until they get to the table.
“ So what guy were you saving Laura from today?” I ask Oliver.
“ Justin, he just won't take the hint that I don't play for his team.” Laura answers for him. We sit and talk quietly about everything, between Oliver’s quick speaking and Laura’s quick wit I soon have a small swarm of little, fuzzy, flying, ‘friends’ around me. Neither one of them ask questions as I close my eyes for a few minutes before the end of lunch bell rings. I am gently shaken by Laura as the bell rings and the two of us walk to Spanish. Oliver is in German, so he had already left to make it on time.
We ask to be excused, as we have our work done, and teacher waves us away. We look at all the props for the upcoming play that Laura stars in… though I know more of her lines than she does at this point, until it's time for English.
We walk in at the same time as Oliver and he and I take seats in the back, as usual, while Laura sits in the front row where she can see us if she wants to, as always. Mr. Bloom walks in and asks that we get out a notebook for today’s assignment. Everyone reaches for one except me. Oliver grabs mine out of my bookbag when he sees me freeze, he may not know why, but he was good at taking care of me when I froze or did something else weird.
“ Okay you guys, I want us each to write a short story, seven pages or less. Those will be due next Friday. Today, however, I just want each of you to brainstorm ideas for your story. Who will the characters be? How many? Where and when will it take place, and what is the plot? You have all period to do this. You may begin.
I close my eyes and breathe. I tell myself to stop thinking, but it's too late, at the word “brainstorm”, I had already started to have ideas. I write furiously fast, trying for damage control now that it was too late to prevent it.
Soon I feel it, little tiny paper planes and small clawed hands in my hair. I don't look up, I know it's them, my fairies. They have been there since I was little, and they represent lost thoughts. Ya know when you have a thought and then you get distracted, then when you come back to it, it's gone? Mine come right out of my head and turn into a fairy. Melody is the song that is always stuck in my head, but right now she is hiding in my hoodie pocket, shaking and humming franticly. The others are never nice like her, they are upset about not being important enough to be addressed, and so they try to make me notice them, pick them, so they can be seen or heard by others through me. That's not how it works though, as once the fairy is in the real world, (other than Melody) I can no longer remember what the thought was at all. They grow bored of throwing things and pulling my hair, so they start to swarm my face. I must look crazy as I cry with frustration while I write so fast and hard that the paper rips several times. I can no longer see the paper in front of my face, but I continue to write, trying to get every idea on the paper before I make another one form. They won't hurt me… as least not badly, but they will nip and scratch me until others would be able to see the marks later.
I give up, I stand up, and run out of the room like I'm crazy, which to the other students I might be. I throw my hood up and look into my chest as I run, hands in pockets to minimize the scratches I will have to explain away to my parents tonight. I make it to my locker, throw it open, and climb inside. It won't shut with me in it, but if I get in and turn around so they can only get at my covered back, I can have time to think, as long as I’m careful to think out enough thought until it is over. Melody is now softly crying to the tune of one of my band songs. I risk reaching behind me, glad I didn't forget my bookbag in my mad dash, and pull out the small amount of food I saved for her from lunch. Though others can't see my fairies, or their effects most of the time, the fairies can touch and move objects, and since Melody is always here, always singing, humming, snoring to the beat of the newest song to get stuck in my head, she needs to eat and sleep. I put the food in my hoodie pocket and I hear the crying slow to a stop, and be replaced by rhythmic chewing to the song from band. Better, I think, and then I am ripped from my locker.
Maybe ripped is a strong word, maybe “ unprepared to be pulled out so I fell” fits better. I made sure to land on my back so that I didn't hurt Melody, covering my face and wishing I had gloves as the fairies started to make visible marks. It was Oliver and Laura, and they quickly picked me up and took me to the nurse. She wasn’t there, so Oliver went to tell the teacher we were going home while Laura guided my covered face to her car. Before I got in I told her that as soon as I was in, she had to close the door as quickly as possible. I asked her to say verbally that she understood since I couldn't see her. Once I had confirmation, we did it. Only ten or fifteen made it inside the car, the others would have to fly behind the car. I uncover my face slightly while the ones that got inside went back to just trying to get my attention, no strength in this small of a number for a swarm.
“ I’m so sorry.” I say quietly, and Oliver hears the last word as he gets in… not quickly enough, I scream and cover my face again.
Laura starts driving to our house, and I hear them whispering, though what exactly I couldn't hear other the sound of fast whipping wings. We get to the house, and I immediately make a break for my room, I come back a second later with a ski mask.
“Much better,” I say, “ sorry I’m such an embarrassing idiot.”
“Oh honey,” Laura starts, then stops and looks at Oliver, who nods, “ you are slightly embarrassing, but you are no idiot, and we love you anyway. We are siblings now anyway, so we’d have to love you even if we didn't like you.”
“ That's very soothing Laura, thank you,” Oliver stops her, “ what she meant to say is that we are here for you. Please tell us what is happening.” He shoots Laura a ‘nice try’ look, and then they both look to me for an explanation. I figured ‘I see fairies’ would go over as well as that one kid from 9th grade whispering ‘ I see dead people’ every time he was asked what was wrong with him… guess I was the only one who got the reference. So… instead I try something that would either make me seem like a hopeless lunatic to them, or it would explain everything. I start to sing. One phrase here, one phrase there, making sure that Melody could keep up, and soon she was singing with me, one song behind me, as the song left my head to make room for the next one. I then chose a song that I knew was known for its loudness, and as soon as I thoughts about it, I stopped singing out loud. The other fairies were looking at me in confusion, but Melody got very, very loud. I smiled to myself as I heard gasps from my two friends and foster siblings, I had done it, Melody was now singing grandly, although she was slightly muffled from my hoodie. They could hear her, I had thought so loudly that others could hear it. As soon as I knew they had understood that something otherworldly was going on, I stopped thinking about the song and Melody stopped soon afterward.
“ The one that was singing is one of about sixty around me right now, and they are only still from shock about what little Melody just did. I will be right back.” I stated calmly, then I walked upstairs and went into my room. I wrote a note, stating that all would be better explained when I wasn't getting attacked, and put it on the outside of the door. Then I went straight to bed and went to sleep, used to getting to sleep fast in times like this, to let REM get rid of the swarm as it sorted through the thoughts of the day.
When I woke up it wasn't on my own terms, my friends had gotten tired of waiting and were now standing over me.
“ You owe us an explanation, and I am not good at waiting.” Oliver said quickly, but not harshly, as he said everything. I nodded and stood, ready to deal with this. I listened for the hum of Melody, but I couldn't hear a thing… I looked around, and I couldn't see her either. I started to hum to myself, but I couldn't remember any songs for more than a few lines. I waited… but she didn't appear. I had made her fade. Melody was gone, and with it, the songs in my head. Through tears I looked at my friends, and simply said.
“She’s gone.”
They didn't know what that means, but they knew something had happened with my fairies, as that was the only thing I could be talking about. Oliver sat down on my bed and put his arm around my shoulders, while Laura stood in front of me, holding my hands in hers.
“Melody, the fairy that I've always had, just like I’ve always had a song in my head, is gone now. I killed her when you heard her. That's all any of them want, is to be heard, and once they’ve been heard they have no substance left.” I finished in a whisper, planning to not explain anymore now, when I saw it. As my friends thought about what this could mean, I watched little furry beings materialize around their heads. They swatted at them and yelled in concern.
“Don’t do that, it’ll only encourage them…” I explained. And then I knew that even without a Melody to my life, maybe with my old friends turned foster siblings, we could find a way to live in harmony with the fairies.
...
“ Can you see me over here? Should I just disappear?” I sing the lyrics of one of her favorites, but she can’t hear me.
“ But big girls don’t cry.” I try again to console her as tear fall down her face.
“ I’m standing here but you don't see me, I’d give it all for that to change.” I sing as I watch her be too sad to ever want to sing again. Ruining my only chance of being heard again.
