Love Me, from Head to Wheel

“You should open an account

I

lham! I’m sure there is bound to be someone out there for you. Sure it won’t be the most romantic thing ever, but it could work out.”

The one who suggested to me that terrible idea was my mother.

Yes, I love her

d

early, but sometimes she can be a bit too much. I don’t know how father deals with her on a daily basis but he deserves a pat on the back for that.

She is currently trying to convince me to start dating again

o

n an app called

Zoosk

. I can assume she has on a bright big, smile right now, but I’m at work on my lunch break on the phone with her. What a way to spend my break, being lectured by my 58-year-old Arabic mother.

“Mother you know how I feel about online dating. Actually dating as a whole. It’s just

n

ot the right thing for me, and you know it,” I sighed, rubbing my forehead with my thumb and pointer finger.

“But

أبن

, you need to learn how to live a little out of your comfort zone, you

’

re not going to keep dwelling in the past forever, are you?”

My mother has a way with words, and she always knows what to say when I begin going back to all those years ago. I still have extreme

t

rust issues ever since

him

and to be frank, I believe I won’t ever be able to be in a relationship again. Sometimes I have these mini-breakdowns that ends up with me shutting down for a couple of weeks, but I always come back eventually.

“If I say yes to this, will you please stop nagging me about it?”

There was a slightly long pause and my anxiety started to

k

ick in. My breathing became ragged and my fingertips were tingling, like little

n

eedles gently poking into my skin.

Mother please just answers soon

, I thought.

“I knew you’d come around

طفل

.”

And with that, she hung up the phone. My lunch break ending just as well.

As I was making my way to my truck, I began to truly think about what I had just agreed to. I had literally just done the thing I’d avoided for so many years. For years I had told myself to never get into another relationship or even start dating again.

O

h dear god...

My life was about to be utterly fucked,

w

ell more than it was already.