Chapter 1
I stepped up onto the curb and firmly slammed the cab door behind me. This was the seven‑hundred block, and according to the bold numbers on the note in my hand, Lucien lived less than a block away. As I made my way up the crowded avenue, a cool breeze blew through my hair, and my arms flared up in goosebumps. I felt like a stranger to myself for actually going through with this.
“This is the first day of the rest of your life.”
Lucien showed me around his apartment. Immediately, I fell in love with the place. The floor was sleek hardwood, and there were floor‑to‑ceiling windows everywhere. His walls were painted antique white, and his furniture was black, creating an elegant, clean atmosphere. A leather loveseat and a long, L‑shaped sectional anchored the living room. A round black‑glass table sat in the center. A few feet away stood a mahogany pool table, not far from the bar, and a set of French doors leading to the terrace. Another set opened into Lucien’s study, where he claimed he did all of his thinking.
His bathroom blew me away the instant I stepped inside. When he flicked a switch, a dozen bulbs around a massive mirror lit up the room in a soft jaundiced glow. The floor, countertops, and tub were black marble. The walls were tiled. But what really caught my attention was the gigantic fish tank lining one wall. It swarmed with brightly colored tropical fish, neon greens, pinks, and blues reflecting off the black tile. It was amazing to see something so unconventional.
“I actually had to have this tub installed,” Lucien explained as he peered over the deep pentagon‑shaped bathtub. “I wanted something deep and roomy, something I could move around in.”
He pointed to the fat pillar candles surrounding the tub.
“Those give it a… I don’t know… kind of romantic atmosphere. Right now I’m into aromatherapy. You ever try it?”
“Sure.” Yeah, my mom was into aromatherapy bath crystals and all that junk. But I could give a shit.
He nodded as if to say, “I thought so.” Then came a long silence that reminded me how unbearably nervous I’d been ever since stepping out of that cab and making my way up Richmond Avenue. Somewhere between Lucien’s welcome hug and the tour, my awe swallowed my nerves whole.
Buzz… “Mr. Capelli?” …Buzz… “Hello? Capelli?”
I spotted a miniature speaker just above the bathroom door.
“I’ll be right back,” he said, responding to the buzzing. “Check everything out.”
He hurried out, leaving me with only the fish.
“This is bad‑ass,” I said to myself as I opened the shower door. I stepped inside and stared up at the gold spout above my head.
This is the shower Lucien uses every day. The same shower his ex Meredith once showered in too.
I shook the thought from my head as I stepped out. It’s funny how everyone is someone else’s seconds — maybe even thirds or fourths.
“Don’t be anxious, Audrey. Keep it together,” I whispered. “You’ve come this far; you can’t turn back now.”
I turned off the lights, made my way down the hall, and returned to the living room. I sat and ran my hands over the microfiber, softer than suede. Lucien was at the door speaking to somebody in hushed tones. I could hear their voices but not their words. I wasn’t interested anyway.
“Who was that?” I asked when he returned. He had a box in his hands, flipping it over like he was trying to figure out what was inside. With little interest, he tossed it aside. It landed on the pool table with a thump and rattle.
“That was, um… FedEx.”
From the way he said it — and the look on his face — I could tell he was lying. Why would he have to lie?
“Anyway, I have to be somewhere right now,” he said. “Will you be okay alone for a few hours?”
“Sure.”
I’d be fine as long as there weren’t any ghosts in this shiny‑floored apartment. This was clearly a decent part of town. I couldn’t imagine him living anywhere else. I hadn’t heard a single siren.
“All right, well, um, there’s food in the fridge and drinks at the bar—” He paused, as if reconsidering.
“Maybe that’s not such a good idea right now, but everything’s there. You like movies?”
He grabbed one of three remotes off the tabletop.
“If you want to see a movie, just download it to the TV. Here, browse.”
“Anything?”
“Anything.” Lucien’s baby blues lit up like little lanterns. His smile was infectious. That body all decked out in a suit looked good from where I stood. I had never seen him in a suit before. Usually he wore black slacks or baggy jeans with sweaters, like the night I first met him at Penny’s party. He looked great then, but in a suit he was even better — sharp and sophisticated.
“Thanks for everything,” I said, genuinely appreciative.
“Come here,” he said. “Give me a hug.”
I got up and hugged him, feeling like a small child in his safe embrace.
“Thank you for letting me stay here and stuff. I really appreciate it.”
“Hey.” He held his head back and lifted my chin with his thumb and forefinger.
“I’m happy you’re here and that you came to me. It means a lot, it does. I promise things will get better, okay? In the meantime, make yourself at home. When you get sleepy, go up to my room and knock out.”
He leaned in and kissed my forehead.
“I’ll see you in a little bit.” He checked his hair in the mirror beside the door and headed out, leaving behind the scent of his cologne. I didn’t know what to do next. He had just left me alone my first night. Now I felt like a kid left unattended.
I had almost backed out of showing up, but I was glad I’d gone through with it. I remembered why I’d come to him in the first place. Of all my friends, Lucien was the eldest and by far the most responsible. He had his life together, and he was kind — the true meaning of a friend. Sure, I had only known him for a few months, but I knew he was harmless. I trusted him, and it meant something that he trusted me enough to help me out in my time of need.
After I was sure he was gone, I sprinted to the bathroom. Using strange bathrooms has always troubled me. Using a hot guy’s bathroom was even worse. I wished I could have called my best bud Penny to give her the lowdown. She’d no doubt laugh at me. I guess it was a funny situation, and as I sat there on the black ceramic, I laughed at the fact that at that very moment, I was so fucked.
I took a hand‑crocheted blanket from the foot of Lucien’s bed, grabbed a couple of jumbo‑sized pillows, and carried them to the living room. He’d said to sleep in his bed while he took the couch, but I wouldn’t dream of inconveniencing anyone. I made a bed on the sectional, propped my head up with the pillows, and stared out through the glass French doors. The breeze from the open windows was just the right temperature — heavenly. But my mind wasn’t completely free. So many thoughts, so many images flooding my brain. I could see my father stepping between me and my mother, holding her back as she screamed at me, outraged. I could hear her voice — sharp enough to bite into my bones. I had never seen her so vicious. I was convinced she wanted to tear my head off.
Before I knew it, my eyelids were heavy as blankets. When I couldn’t fight it anymore, I closed them. The apartment was quiet and dark. I listened for the sounds of the fish tank, but the bathroom was too far down the hall. I pulled the baby‑soft crocheted blanket over my shoulders and felt a warm tear trickle down the side of my face, melting away between my sideburn and the pillow. The blanket smelled like Lucien’s cologne, and in a way, it comforted me. Hopefully tomorrow would be a sunny day.
