Not too shabby

"The summary of the story is interesting and I want to see how it unfolds from the first two chapters. The main character seems a bit harsh. I can't say I like her or dislike her, but I would like to see how she develops as the story goes on. A plus point of this story is the details. You get enough of a picture without it seeming over done, which I like. What could be better is the flow of the story. At the moment, it doesn't seem the most natural. Overall, it's a decent start and I look forward to more."