What is your opinion?
Interesting start
"I began reading this story yesterday and I am very interested in reading more. It has grabbed my interest and I am curious to find out what happens at the concert! The only thing so far that I noticed, is there are a few grammatical mistakes that can be easily resolved. Other than that, the two characters so far are visualized in my head and the cold weather is described so well that I almost had to put on a sweater :) Keep up the good work and know that you have someone waiting to see how Emory and Ivory develop!"
Here We Go...
"Good, over all! A little bit of work on tense like past or present would do nicely or your story. And don't forget to describe surroundings as well, that'll help with imagery and the overall plot of the story. And say, don't tell in some cases. That means that, per say, instead of typing she was anxious, you could type she was rocking back and forth on the balls of her feet, eyes glancing every which way. It made one feel rather awkward if you stared at her for too long. Give clues but don't out right say! And don't forget to give your characters depth. Don't make them too similiar and I feel like your main characters are a little static right now. Give them a different tone when they speak, when you write them commenting/looking around at people and buildings and other everyday objects. Make them human! Other wise, I quiet like the story. I'm intrigued to see where it will go and your style is pretty neat and fits very well with the kinda of genre this book is!"
