He blocked me!
He blocked me. He really did. I can't believe it. Thomas actually blocked me on his messenger. Furiously I called him,only to be met by the deafening and maddening voicemail because he refused to answer. I screamed as loud as I internally could and envisioned my phone smashing to pieces on the wall as I pretend threw it forcefully in my mind.
We had just been conversing about when I would be able to make it to his side of the world when I had snapped, an argument ensuing, which resulted in him hanging up on me and blocking me.
You see, Thomas and I are in love. We're also on opposite sides of the fucking planet. I'm in New Zealand and he's all the way over in the United States. The logical side of me cannot understand why I would even bother entertaining the thought, let alone for this period of time.We've never met, but we've held this love for each other for years. I'm not sure if I'm an idiot or if it's real. But, these tears threatening to spill down my normally stoic face are definitely real. He's the only one to coax them out of me.
I chuckled at a realisation that I'm usually the petty one who does this to him.
I know he'll be back, well I hope he'll be back. There's a magnetic pull that we have to each other and there's no two ways around it. He HAS to come back to me.
I feel empty, even though I've never felt his kiss or touch yet. I've never been able to bask in his scent. Watch him sleep, fart on him, slap his ass. Ride his dick. And it kills me daily with the distance between us.
Thomas is such a beautiful man, I can't believe he'd ever even give me the time of day, let alone be the person I wanted to be with. I let out a frustrated sigh.
He seemed to think that I was the most beautiful woman he'd ever laid eyes on. Rolling my eyes at the thought, I tried to dismiss him time and again, knowing it was disrespectful to him. Hurt his damn ego blah blah blah.
I dreamed of our life together, imagining the things he was going to do to me and how each day that passed was a day closer to being together.
Gosh I'm so petty and ridiculous. He expected his authority to be respected and I was like hell to the no! I definitely had a problem with authority. I hated people telling me what to do. Yet, I wanted him to.
Gosh I'm so muddled up, my brain can't even think.
I looked at my phone. Still blocked. He must be really mad at me. Blah. Let him be mad. I don't care. I really don't. I tell myself this as tears squeeze out my ducts once again, because let's face it, the man has my heart and there's no way I can live without him. He also can't live without me.
I called back once more, hoping he'd answer me. I was almost bout to hang up, when he answered. At that point, I just broke down quietly sobbing.
"Hello?", he said huskily I'm the deep baritone voice that just fucks with my nether regions.
"Hi", I pathetically mewed back. Oh my gosh, what the actual fuck is wrong with me?
My heart instantly perked up at the sound of his voice.
I can't believe this all started with an online chat four years ago.
I internally sigh. He's going to be the death of me.
